FreakyZettairyouiki
Certified KPOP Fan
I am venting about this because I've noticed that out of all the Aspies I've seen or met, most of them have a lot of trouble expressing their feelings and come off as lacking sympathy or empathy (even though I know that's not necessarily the case). I realize alexithymia is common on the spectrum but it's frustrating because whenever I have a conversation with a few Aspies I know, these people tend to give one word responses like "Okay" or "I'm sorry" whenever I pour out my feelings to them and it's so annoying to me because I'm going through so much stuff and I want to have a good conversation. The reason why I came here is because I want to meet people like me, especially around my age, that can relate to the turbulent storms that I am going through in my life, with Aspergers, depression, low self esteem, a mind thats thinking about so many things that make you want to explode. Even now I have to balance my education with my spare time and coming here and I've realized this is more of a priority for me but it seems I'm not getting much out of it. I have met one Aspie that has sent me emails upon emails about their situation and this person always asks me questions and reciprocates my feelings well and I don't mind writing paragraph upon paragraph to them because I know we both express our emotions the same way and they won't be bothered by it.
Anyways, someone told me that it seems I'm just more in touch with my emotions. Ironically, my whole life I had been bottling up my feelings and it was difficult for me to say how I felt as a result, because I didn't trust anyone. Now because of my situation, I've been forced to become more introspective and reflect on my thoughts and my mind and my feelings as a form of cognitive behavioral therapy. I want to understand myself and be honest with myself. I ask myself what's wrong with me. So since I've rarely met people that can reciprocate in our exchanges, it's made me feel worse. When they barely respond, if they do at all, I feel like I'm doing something wrong or that I'm crazy. I think this is why I was subtly treated as a pariah by NTs for years. I never fully saw the other side of coin until now really, since I'm not a great small talker or not the best with conversations irl. I was wondering if anyone had a similiar experience? Are you more aware of your emotions than other Aspies?
Anyways, someone told me that it seems I'm just more in touch with my emotions. Ironically, my whole life I had been bottling up my feelings and it was difficult for me to say how I felt as a result, because I didn't trust anyone. Now because of my situation, I've been forced to become more introspective and reflect on my thoughts and my mind and my feelings as a form of cognitive behavioral therapy. I want to understand myself and be honest with myself. I ask myself what's wrong with me. So since I've rarely met people that can reciprocate in our exchanges, it's made me feel worse. When they barely respond, if they do at all, I feel like I'm doing something wrong or that I'm crazy. I think this is why I was subtly treated as a pariah by NTs for years. I never fully saw the other side of coin until now really, since I'm not a great small talker or not the best with conversations irl. I was wondering if anyone had a similiar experience? Are you more aware of your emotions than other Aspies?