NB: What follows, is not, repeat not, intended to be amusing in any way whatsoever. Please do not LOL in any replies.
I can't remember how many lessons I had - I'd long lost count - only that I'd had four different instructors and two failed attempts before I passed at the age of 19. This was before the theory test was introduced.
My first instructor (who was assigned to me for no better reason than that he'd taught my brother) made me a nervous wreck. A typical blast from him would be "Didn't you know you were supposed to change down a gear before turning?" which put me on the spot. If I said "Yes" he'd yell "Then why the hell didn't you?"; if I said "No" he'd yell "Why the hell didn't you know?" On the 30th lesson my mum sat in the back of the car (at the instructor's request) and realised that a change would do me good, so we used the excuse of wanting a female instructor. So I switched, but eventually instructor #2 had to give up driving because of a hysterectomy so I was moved to the man who is now her husband. I didn't take the test until over a year after starting lessons, and despite my instructor opting for the Barnet test route because it was easier than Hendon which was the nearest, I failed. I didn't resume lessons until my second term at St Andrews uni, where I took the test twice on the Cupar route.
Unfortunately even after I passed I continued to remain nervous behind the wheel. Things were made even worse at my first graduate job, when I had a minor accident driving one of the company's pool cars. I feel nervous just writing about this here, because I soon learnt that other people found this inexplicably funny - I guess a lot of humour relies on schadenfreude. There seems to be this belief that once you have passed the test you should feel comfortable driving any model of car, yet I seem to be the exception.
I've never had my own car. In Exeter (where I lived for the longest) I'm not sure where I would have parked one. It would have been more of an advantage when I worked in Skipton, as the public-transport route to the out-of-town business park was at best tiresome, at worst nightmarish (I'm referring specifically to crossing the A59 on a dark November evening and then finding that the bus drivers couldn't see me to stop). But as so often in life, I hesitated, and when I lost the job after five months there didn't seem any point in buying a car.
But how do you overcome driving nerves if you don't own a car? Someone once suggested the advanced driving course, but when I contacted the Exeter branch of the IAM I found they expected you to have your own car, otherwise I guess it would be like going for a piano exam without an instrument to practise on. I was further confused when I learnt that RoSPA also does an advanced driving test - which is better?
In 2009 I did Pass Plus in Exeter, and earned praise from my parents when I next drove their car along a stretch of the M6. Alas, the same motorway has proved my undoing - in April 2012 as I was driving to the Lake District with my dad in the passenger seat I failed to slow down soon enough when I pulled off at junction 36 and hit the crash barrier on the roundabout. Thanks to the airbags we survived: me with bruising to the knee and clavicle, my poor dad with extensive bruising to the ribcage and hips, although not enough to need hospital treatment. I was charged with driving without due care and attention, but avoided getting six points on my licence by doing a police-endorsed driving course. In reality the "course" was a one-day workshop comprising both classroom sessions and driving. The latter was a disaster for me - as soon as I got into the driving seat and saw the word "airbag" I panicked. It was as if I were 20 years younger, meaning in a bad way - I felt more nervous than I'd felt since I was a learner driver, so much so that I could barely sense where the pedals were. I hadn't told the organisers (AA) that I had Asperger's - would it have made any difference if I had?
And another thing - I don't know whether a bike accident I'd had in November 2011 had been a contributory factor. In that case I braked too sharply, whereas on the M6 slip road it was the reverse scenario. I didn't attempt to ride a bicycle again until nine months after the accident - and I was such a bundle of nerves it took me several failed attempts just to push off and I got scared every time I applied the brakes.
