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aspie parent here...
- Thread starter danxp
- Start date
WHATEVERIAM
Member
Hello and welcome danxp! This isn't an exclusionary group, you should feel welcome to share your experiences 
I have received some wonderful insights and ideas from some of the commentary here and really feel quite blessed to have found the site myself. I think it is awesome you are reaching out and searching for community, it says a lot about your parenting and your commitment.
Kids on the spectrum grow up to be adults on the spectrum and for some of us who were diagnosed late in life, it offers some healing and hope to be able to share what would have helped and what we may have had to learn the hard way. There's also some incredibly bright and loving people here so -diagnosis and differences aside- these are humans that are awesome to know and learn from. Quite refreshing and inspirational, in my opinion.
Nice to meet you!
I have received some wonderful insights and ideas from some of the commentary here and really feel quite blessed to have found the site myself. I think it is awesome you are reaching out and searching for community, it says a lot about your parenting and your commitment.
Kids on the spectrum grow up to be adults on the spectrum and for some of us who were diagnosed late in life, it offers some healing and hope to be able to share what would have helped and what we may have had to learn the hard way. There's also some incredibly bright and loving people here so -diagnosis and differences aside- these are humans that are awesome to know and learn from. Quite refreshing and inspirational, in my opinion.
Nice to meet you!
Hi & welcome. Of my ten, up to half of them are on the spectrum, two severely so. (I don't have any one-size-fits-all kinds of answers, but I can share what we've tried.)
As one of them got a diagnosis, I was diagnosed (Aspergers), too. So, I am able to see these scenarios from their perspective to a certain extent.
BTW, shouldn't danxp be Dan v.10 by now...?
As one of them got a diagnosis, I was diagnosed (Aspergers), too. So, I am able to see these scenarios from their perspective to a certain extent.
BTW, shouldn't danxp be Dan v.10 by now...?
WHATEVERIAM
Member
Without knowing the exact nature of your concerns, let me offer what has helped my family on the spectrum (myself, my boyfriend and my son). We accept that we are extremely sensitive people and this comes with both positive and negative life experiences, sounds, lights, emotions, overstimulation of all kinds can overwhelm the processing system until we develop some standby filters or coping tools. Our sensitivities may be different but it can often lead to meltdowns and a general distrust for social situations and isolation. The three of us can also fall into extended periods where we forget that our unique interests are not going to suddenly disappear if we step away or take a break for a couple days but we also give each other plenty of room to fully focus.
Just to give you some real world examples, my boyfriend can't tolerate the sound of people chewing so we either eat at separate times or turn music or tv on so it isn't as uncomfortable for him. My son gets earplugs and a warning (not a five minute warning but a 24-48 hour warning) before we vacuum. When I am overloaded and need a time-out to center and calm myself that time and space is absolutely respected and my son has learned to seek those quiet moments as well. He stopped getting into fights at school after we found a safe space and person to help him retreat from overstimulation. He can have alone time in his room to regroup as long as he lets me know he needs that alone time, I give it to him and save the questions for after he's calm.
My son has been bullied and he tends to act up because of it. We have to very slowly and patiently work through the emotions attached to this, it's a lot for the little guy because he does understand what rules are, what they are for and gets incredibly frustrated when we have to explain why they aren't applied equally or always logically - the inconsistencies are frustrating and there isn't always an easy answer- but black and white or rigid thinking can be a huge detriment to future success so it is worth the effort to stick it out on reviewing the gray areas over and over and over and validating the very real and normal emotional responses to these things.
Just to give you some real world examples, my boyfriend can't tolerate the sound of people chewing so we either eat at separate times or turn music or tv on so it isn't as uncomfortable for him. My son gets earplugs and a warning (not a five minute warning but a 24-48 hour warning) before we vacuum. When I am overloaded and need a time-out to center and calm myself that time and space is absolutely respected and my son has learned to seek those quiet moments as well. He stopped getting into fights at school after we found a safe space and person to help him retreat from overstimulation. He can have alone time in his room to regroup as long as he lets me know he needs that alone time, I give it to him and save the questions for after he's calm.
My son has been bullied and he tends to act up because of it. We have to very slowly and patiently work through the emotions attached to this, it's a lot for the little guy because he does understand what rules are, what they are for and gets incredibly frustrated when we have to explain why they aren't applied equally or always logically - the inconsistencies are frustrating and there isn't always an easy answer- but black and white or rigid thinking can be a huge detriment to future success so it is worth the effort to stick it out on reviewing the gray areas over and over and over and validating the very real and normal emotional responses to these things.
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