First, before I discuss my perspective regarding women, let me acknowledge that those who present differently seem to have a hardship of attracting bullies, be they male or female. I understand this has happened to many who are on the spectrum.
Bullying, in elementary school, always struck me as something, akin to fish in a tank. One fish stands out and the others go after that fish. That bully is rather mindless, and in fact often is hunting due to his/her own family disfunction and lack of self esteem.
Prior to my self diagnosis, I never understood why they (bullies) homed in on me. In spite of my mother explaining their disfunction and therefore encouraging pity for such humans, I was at a loss. Why do they always find me?
Turn the page to the present. I am older, wiser, and quite POWERFUL. Self diagnosis - Aspergers. Now I understand.
YET, This diagnosis seems to fall under the radar for women. In my case I went through life, tackling my fears and making them my power. Where I was not admitted, I forged through, creating my own social stage.
In hindsight, I have rehabbed myself. No matter how I shook, sweated, or turned red in the face.
Group presentations age 30: Upon return to college... My experience giving presentations was so horrid, that yes, I did shake, sweat and turn red. I was ridiculed by a fellow student for that (she was approximately 50 years old) and she enjoyed the H out of it, pointing this out in front of a group of our fellow students. At that point, I was not taking prisoners. I set her straight and told her to keep watching, that this would be resolved rather soon. She laughed saying yeah sure, this is you for the rest of your life! I laughed to her face and said enjoy the amusement while ya can.
Socializing age 40: I organized a recreational pursuits group, consisting of a very off the mainstream population. I made the rules, which stressed inclusivity. I in essence created my 'ideal world' to overcome my social aversions.
Work age 30: I opened my own business, advocating for those who had physical disabilities and/or older and handicapped. My clients wings which were clipped, were grown back. I decide who I interacted with, and no one had a say over me or what I did. I worked solo.
Marriage prior to age 40: I left two spouses. Each spouse I left, seemed to be drawn to my meltdowns. Those meltdowns were brought on by a persistent emotional strategy on their part. They were attracted to much in my personality, but make no mistake- They were seeking a wife who could be hurt emotionally and produce a rush, via response. It was insanity at best, to acknowledge that craving they had in regards to bringing me to meltdown. I was out of there.
Misc prior to age 20-40: There were many who were less skilled at hiding their attraction to my uniqueness and areas to fix/exploit. Those were promptly kicked to the side and disposed of.
These examples above, are a pattern that if this happened with me, I imagine it happens with other women. Women for we are somehow, what are the words for this... Prey? Weaker sex? Targets? I believe my (our?) Aspergers traits, gives off a scent in a manner of speaking. How we carry ourselves, our quirks, and yes sometime even nuances in chemistry- as it applies to even sensuality (which in my case has always been part of my personality), pulls these people towards you, and invites quite a bit of ill intent.
An Aspergers woman must learn to navigate such waters. In an ideal world, they would do so prior to crossing paths with the sick souls in society. I myself was fortunate, for my mother/mentor, was unbelievable in speaking of such and cluing me in. She had no such experience herself in this area. How she knew there were mentally ill predatory people out there, is beyond me. Then to top that off, my parents, and grandparents marriages were such great examples of what a relationship should be.
Yet, I botched up on two marriages, and had to push the reset button. Yes, I was young. Very young. The naive Asperger's nature of my wiring was untrained, and oh so attractive to those of a predatory nature.
Those who know what a meltdown is and have a diagnosis (and counselor/life coach), have an added layer of protection and awareness. I imagine that it would be very unsavory for a predatory suitor to go after a woman whom is being educated and consulted with on her Aspergers/Autism wiring.
Yet, the insult here is that most women with Aspergers will not be diagnosed when younger. They will stream through all the pitfalls of life's challenges, unaware, unaccompanied, unassisted and undiagnosed.
I know that advances are being made, to revise testing for girls/women. I think that it is tragic that this is and will remain so lacking for many more years to come.
I CANNOT EVEN FIND A SPECIALIST WHO IS FOCUSED/FAMILIAR RE: ASPERGERS WOMEN, on the East Coast/greater WashDC/MD/VA/DE area. Sure you can self diagnose. Just try finding a professional who is versed on Women with Aspergers in your area. If you do, you are amongst the few fortunate. I am tech and resource abled, and if I cannot locate this, what chance do others have?
Thanks for listening. I am rather frustrated with the lack of resources in this one area that falls under this HUGE umbrella of spectrum.
Bullying, in elementary school, always struck me as something, akin to fish in a tank. One fish stands out and the others go after that fish. That bully is rather mindless, and in fact often is hunting due to his/her own family disfunction and lack of self esteem.
Prior to my self diagnosis, I never understood why they (bullies) homed in on me. In spite of my mother explaining their disfunction and therefore encouraging pity for such humans, I was at a loss. Why do they always find me?
Turn the page to the present. I am older, wiser, and quite POWERFUL. Self diagnosis - Aspergers. Now I understand.
YET, This diagnosis seems to fall under the radar for women. In my case I went through life, tackling my fears and making them my power. Where I was not admitted, I forged through, creating my own social stage.
In hindsight, I have rehabbed myself. No matter how I shook, sweated, or turned red in the face.
Group presentations age 30: Upon return to college... My experience giving presentations was so horrid, that yes, I did shake, sweat and turn red. I was ridiculed by a fellow student for that (she was approximately 50 years old) and she enjoyed the H out of it, pointing this out in front of a group of our fellow students. At that point, I was not taking prisoners. I set her straight and told her to keep watching, that this would be resolved rather soon. She laughed saying yeah sure, this is you for the rest of your life! I laughed to her face and said enjoy the amusement while ya can.
Socializing age 40: I organized a recreational pursuits group, consisting of a very off the mainstream population. I made the rules, which stressed inclusivity. I in essence created my 'ideal world' to overcome my social aversions.
Work age 30: I opened my own business, advocating for those who had physical disabilities and/or older and handicapped. My clients wings which were clipped, were grown back. I decide who I interacted with, and no one had a say over me or what I did. I worked solo.
Marriage prior to age 40: I left two spouses. Each spouse I left, seemed to be drawn to my meltdowns. Those meltdowns were brought on by a persistent emotional strategy on their part. They were attracted to much in my personality, but make no mistake- They were seeking a wife who could be hurt emotionally and produce a rush, via response. It was insanity at best, to acknowledge that craving they had in regards to bringing me to meltdown. I was out of there.
Misc prior to age 20-40: There were many who were less skilled at hiding their attraction to my uniqueness and areas to fix/exploit. Those were promptly kicked to the side and disposed of.
These examples above, are a pattern that if this happened with me, I imagine it happens with other women. Women for we are somehow, what are the words for this... Prey? Weaker sex? Targets? I believe my (our?) Aspergers traits, gives off a scent in a manner of speaking. How we carry ourselves, our quirks, and yes sometime even nuances in chemistry- as it applies to even sensuality (which in my case has always been part of my personality), pulls these people towards you, and invites quite a bit of ill intent.
An Aspergers woman must learn to navigate such waters. In an ideal world, they would do so prior to crossing paths with the sick souls in society. I myself was fortunate, for my mother/mentor, was unbelievable in speaking of such and cluing me in. She had no such experience herself in this area. How she knew there were mentally ill predatory people out there, is beyond me. Then to top that off, my parents, and grandparents marriages were such great examples of what a relationship should be.
Yet, I botched up on two marriages, and had to push the reset button. Yes, I was young. Very young. The naive Asperger's nature of my wiring was untrained, and oh so attractive to those of a predatory nature.
Those who know what a meltdown is and have a diagnosis (and counselor/life coach), have an added layer of protection and awareness. I imagine that it would be very unsavory for a predatory suitor to go after a woman whom is being educated and consulted with on her Aspergers/Autism wiring.
Yet, the insult here is that most women with Aspergers will not be diagnosed when younger. They will stream through all the pitfalls of life's challenges, unaware, unaccompanied, unassisted and undiagnosed.
I know that advances are being made, to revise testing for girls/women. I think that it is tragic that this is and will remain so lacking for many more years to come.
I CANNOT EVEN FIND A SPECIALIST WHO IS FOCUSED/FAMILIAR RE: ASPERGERS WOMEN, on the East Coast/greater WashDC/MD/VA/DE area. Sure you can self diagnose. Just try finding a professional who is versed on Women with Aspergers in your area. If you do, you are amongst the few fortunate. I am tech and resource abled, and if I cannot locate this, what chance do others have?
Thanks for listening. I am rather frustrated with the lack of resources in this one area that falls under this HUGE umbrella of spectrum.
Last edited:
