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Asperger's Syndrome and Alcohol Abuse

Thank you, kestrel. This is a hard decision to make for sure. I hope I know what I'm doing too.

I'd be just fine on my own, and sometimes feel I'd prefer it that way. However, something tells me this relationship is something I need to pursue. Almost as though my life would be too comfortable without it. Complacency leads to stagnation after all.

Thank you again for the kind words ...
 
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Asperger-Syndrome-Alcohol-Drinking-Cope/dp/1843106094/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1467314908&sr=1-1&keywords=Aspergers+&+Alcoholism:+Drinking+to+Cope

I found this book illuminating & somewhat self-validating. Addressing my ASD diagnosis really only came after I made made a commitment to active abstaining of alcohol & the realization that alcoholic intoxication was the last thing my autistic brain needed or was able to deal with. I did attend AA meetings & thank that organization for my subsequent association of thought although I struggled with some of the Higher Power doctrine.

I think many people who are feeling stressed or uneasy about aspects of their existence will seek solace in different ways & if there are tendencies towards obsessive compulsive traits then these activities can themselves become problematic. I helped kick booze by occupying myself with a maths-based, team-played, strategic map-domination multi massive online player role playing game which I played addictively for 3 years. The psychological withdrawal I experienced trying to separate myself from that virtual world were worse than anything I experienced during previous experiences of substance - dependency.

We all locate supports as are available even when they may be detrimental. Less damaging & more rewarding pursuits are available but self awareness has to be a foundation..
 
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Asperger-Syndrome-Alcohol-Drinking-Cope/dp/1843106094/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1467314908&sr=1-1&keywords=Aspergers+&+Alcoholism:+Drinking+to+Cope

I found this book illuminating & somewhat self-validating. Addressing my ASD diagnosis really only came after I made made a commitment to active abstaining of alcohol & the realization that alcoholic intoxication was the last thing my autistic brain needed or was able to deal with. I did attend AA meetings & thank that organization for my subsequent association of thought although I struggled with some of the Higher Power doctrine.

I think many people who are feeling stressed or uneasy about aspects of their existence will seek solace in different ways & if there are tendencies towards obsessive compulsive traits then these activities can themselves become problematic. I helped kick booze by occupying myself with a maths-based, team-played, strategic map-domination multi massive online player role playing game which I played addictively for 3 years. The psychological withdrawal I experienced trying to separate myself from that virtual world were worse than anything I experienced during previous experiences of substance - dependency.

We all locate supports as are available even when they may be detrimental. Less damaging & more rewarding pursuits are available but self awareness has to be a foundation..
I read this book too ... and agree ... very self-validating. This definitely parallels my experience quite a bit (although I'm not as far along as the individual in this book).

I'm hoping my last minor lapse was my last one (I'm really not having urges the same way I was before ... it was just such a bad experience in every way the last time I had a few drinks, I just think I might have it beat)--not being complacent, but hopeful. (I've also found SMART recovery recently which is a self-guided CBT/REBT type approach to addiction, no higher power required ... quitting is up to you and the work you put into quitting ... not knocking AA and the higher power thing, but it's not for everyone. Also the SMART recovery is an online community with online voice meetings so for those that are in remote locations it's definitely a good option)
 
People often drink heavily who are bipolar - it's an attempt to self-medicate. I did! Once I was diagnosed and started medication I quit drinking. Alcohol also "helps" Aspergers to be social: the problem is, you have someone who is extremely shy suddenly go "out of control" - become wild and risk-taking. Not good. Get you friend help, however you can!
 
I've had an alcohol problem now for 4 years. The first time I ever got drunk was amazing, It helped me interact and socialize better in big crowds. I made countless friends, had a few drunken one night stands too, something which seemed impossible prior to drinking alcohol, but there's been issues, legal issues, trouble with police, violence (domestic too) and hospitalization. Now I'll drink whenever I can, sometimes two x18 of beer in one night (that's 36 330ml beers) . It's all I live for.
 
I've had an alcohol problem now for 4 year...but there's been issues, legal issues, trouble with police, violence (domestic too) and hospitalization..

O well, recognizing the reality of a situation is never a bad thing & it's up to each of us what we do or don't with that info. Good luck. :)
 
First, there's a really good book on this subject called Aspergers Syndrome & Alcohol. It was published in Canada but you can get it on Amazon.

Second, I have been down this road & it's common. It usually starts as a way to be accepted socially. We find it easier to make friends when we've been drinking. We are also more liked bc everyone is drinking, so they don't notice our social problems.

Third, over time, it's easy to get addicted to alcohol. When that happens, we often become mean drunks. This can last years & years, esp if we are still hanging with our drinking buddies, who are our only friends.

Fourth, I don't recommend AA bc those guys prey on autistics, esp women. They are also victim-oriented which is full of guilt & self-loathing.

Fifth, what worked for me is that someone loved me enough to tell me I had a drinking problem. I continued to drink for 2 years but it was that initial honest talk with a friend that made me eventually realize she was right & that I needed help. I went to a therapist who specialized in non-AA methods. More so, I read a book called The Tao of Sobriety and another book called The 30-Day Solution. These books are for those who do not respond to AA philosophy. Also, the book I mentioned above called Asperger's Syndrome & Alcohol which explains the Why among Aspies.

Sixth, it took me another 2 years for me to cut way down. I went from drinking daily to now I only drink on weekends. I still think about alcohol but eventually as you abstain more and more, you realized alcohol is actually wasting your life & holding you back from succeeding. It literary robs you of your energy & you become obsessed with drinking instead of working toward your life's goals.

So that's my story & I rec you have that honest talk with him...& then have him read the books & know it may take him a few years to get there, which may very well start with your candid talk. BTW interventions only work if it's THE DRINKERS IDEA - he has to want it, but it starts with a friend who loves him enough to simply be honest - so he can be honest with himself, when he's ready to see it one day.
 
I rarely drink anything with alcohol in it because it tastes like hand sanitizer to me and that is a really nasty taste as you can imagine. Even if I find something that doesn’t make me gag immediately and start choking, I have one or two and take my time consuming it. I was never all that interested in drinking that much anyway.
 

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