I was wondering if real progress is possible. Aspergers just seems so omnipresent. I've had times when I tried to change. These times also seem to be the most unhappy.
The everyday difficulties of Autism seem to cast a long shadow on the prospect of Maslow's Self Actualization. How the heck do I get to the next step in the process when I just became enraged over the stupidest thing?
I certainly don't give myself enough credit.
The rest of you need some credit, too. You're battling something that is chronic and cannot be cured. Sometimes doing the best we can truly is the best we can do.
Pleased to meet you, James. I've not had the pleasure before now. Your comment on Maslow caught my attention. Here's his lists of characteristics and behaviors leading to self-actualisation (1968):
Characteristics of self-actualizers:
1. They perceive reality efficiently and can tolerate uncertainty;
2. Accept themselves and others for what they are;
3. Spontaneous in thought and action;
4. Problem-centered (not self-centered);
5. Unusual sense of humor;
6. Able to look at life objectively;
7. Highly creative;
8. Resistant to enculturation, but not purposely unconventional;
9. Concerned for the welfare of humanity;
10. Capable of deep appreciation of basic life-experience;
11. Establish deep satisfying interpersonal relationships with a few people;
12. Peak experiences;
13. Need for privacy;
14. Democratic attitudes;
15. Strong moral/ethical standards.
Behavior leading to self-actualization:
(a) Experiencing life like a child, with full absorption and concentration;
(b) Trying new things instead of sticking to safe paths;
(c) Listening to your own feelings in evaluating experiences instead of the voice of tradition, authority or the majority;
(d) Avoiding pretense ('game playing') and being honest;
(e) Being prepared to be unpopular if your views do not coincide with those of the majority;
(f) Taking responsibility and working hard;
(g) Trying to identify your defenses and having the courage to give them up.
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Considering that only 2% of humans will ever actually reach the point of self-actualistion [Maslow's figure, not mine], I'd say we Aspies may have a better shot than most, by this list, save the items I highlighted in crimson.
I've seen a lot of other Aspies here state that times when they've tried hardest to change have been some of their most unhappy. I have to wonder what compelled their efforts, what methods they used, and how patient they were with themselves. Not that I am looking to find fault, but it's entirely likely that we may often go about change the wrong way, if for no other reason than a distinct lack of adequate resources to assist us. No Aspie of note has written a guidebook to aid our further development. We find ourselves hacking a path rather blindly, fingers crossed and feeling much pressure. If I had one wish for AC, it would be for us to put our heads together, very seriously, to devise our own therapeutic methodologies.
Having done quite well on my own journey to self-actualisation, my first recommendation is to stop, as you put it, "battling" ourselves. We shouldn't need to. For every deficit common to Asperger's, there is an uncommon strength to counterbalance it. Instead of fighting what's wrong, perhaps we should focus on harnessing our many gifts in order to grow.
One of the problems with the current diagnostic criteria, and the prevailing attitude among most clinicians, is that they are roundly focused on the negative...of Asperger's as a
disorder. Very sadly, I see that mindset reflected in the self-image of some [not all] younger members here who were diagnosed early on. Many older members, who just had to get on with things without anyone knowing what was the matter with them, have fared quite well, all things considered, and diagnosis/realisation of their Asperger's merely serves as an answer to a nagging question and a foundation for more informed developmental efforts.
In my view, we should
all give ourselves more credit. We might just find it makes our lives a whole lot easier.