Asperger's and "bold" personality types

[pelecanus87]

To me, it seems the majority of aspies have more "reserved" personality types. However, growing up, I exhibited many signs of a "bold" personality. While I was never extroverted, I was someone who liked to make my voice heard (joking or serious) when I thought the time was right. Looking back, it became something I took pride in.

Sadly, As an adult I have lost so much confidence in my ability to understand society and social interaction in general, that I just don't feel comfortable boldly inserting myself into really much of anything. A lot of "bold" moves require things like good timing or the ability to discern what people are thinking. I often feel so out of step that such actions just seem to be more trouble than they're worth.

I'm not sure what kind of answers I'm looking to get, but maybe at least there are some who can relate to this.

 

[Keigan]

I have a bold personality and I am aspie. I have learned to read people's body language and I speak in the terms and language that they speak - all so they hear and understand my message. Frequently they may not like my message, but the do hear it.

The beauty of my approach is that I mimic those around me to create sometime a momentary connection and once in a while a lasting connection.

I have a lot to offer, so it is important to me that they understand me.

 

[Chance]

Mine is more the reserved thinker type. I can be BOLD only if I am dead certain I am right about something, otherwise I don't say much out in real life at all. I listen and learn, implement, and then capitalize on it if possible... Without being a jerk or hurting people of course.

 

[Suzanne]

The only time I am bold, is to my husband ( poor him). Other than that, I have to feel VERY comfortable, to suddenly become bold. Other than that, I am the opposite and have never learned the art of being in the NT world. I have tried so many times, but I just fail and end up feeling drained.

 

[haileyrenee]

I'm aspire and I am and have always been very bold and assertive. Although the older I get the more I have learned to think before I speak (thats's a new concept for me)... I typically won't say anything, esp to NT, unless it passes three gates: is it true? is it necessary? is it kind? .... just my philosophy as of late.

 

[WittyAspie]

I have often been the class clown, if that is what you mean. I would wait until the right moment to say something that I knew would get a reaction.

Of course there was also the time this past Spring when I told my professor to keep his pants around his ankles. In the moment I said it, considering the context, it made total sense. It took a full minute for my professor to regain composure and begin teaching.

 

[Ambi]

To me, it seems the majority of aspies have more "reserved" personality types. However, growing up, I exhibited many signs of a "bold" personality. While I was never extroverted, I was someone who liked to make my voice heard (joking or serious) when I thought the time was right. Looking back, it became something I took pride in.

Sadly, As an adult I have lost so much confidence in my ability to understand society and social interaction in general, that I just don't feel comfortable boldly inserting myself into really much of anything. A lot of "bold" moves require things like good timing or the ability to discern what people are thinking. I often feel so out of step that such actions just seem to be more trouble than they're worth.

I'm not sure what kind of answers I'm looking to get, but maybe at least there are some who can relate to this.

I have a bold personality and have never understood the importance of timing and social rank in NT conversational dynamics, so my bold personality hurts rather than helps me in those situations.

 

[Bolletje]

I'm situationally extroverted. I joke around a lot when I'm comfortable. I can give lectures, presentations and speeches, and I can improvise on the spot when I'm speeching. I'm just terrible at small talk when I'm not sure of my role in the conversation.

I'm great at small talk with my patients, because I know how to behave towards them and I know I'm in charge of the conversation. With coworkers, not so much

 

[Tyrantus1212]

I'm definitely not bold; in fact, one can even call me a coward because I'm afraid of so many things, including getting in trouble at work or even someone raising their voice at me (I always misinterpret that as yelling, which only makes things worse and gets the other person to ACTUALLY yell). I used to be an introvert, even a lone wolf by choice, when I was a child and teenager. I should have stayed that way. I came out of my shell in my early twenties and let's just say I was TOO friendly and TOO social, but without all the necessary skills...and it ended up becoming a disaster. I ended up pushing everyone in my college department (almost everyone) away because I ended up behaving in a very off-putting manner without even realizing it at first. I wanted to be cool, to fit in, to have friends - once I became an extrovert. I made too big a leap there, big no-no.

Once I graduated college, I sort of regressed into lone wolfdom; I started focusing on work and purposefully lost touch with everyone in college. I wanted them to forget that I existed. I actually got back in touch with a dude who thought I was cool around a year later, and I still text with him almost daily. Even if they thought I were to vanish into thin air I don't think they would give a damn. Pariah is as pariah does, and I'm glad I got to start over, sort of. I try not to be very extroverted at work, but I can tell that I still get on people's nerves. I do get extroverted with the few friends I have right now - but I feel like I've been too needy and making too many demands that I was on the verge of scaring them off. I can't let history repeat itself. The less extroverted I am considering my lack of social skills, the better off others will be.

 

[haileyrenee]

I have often been the class clown, if that is what you mean. I would wait until the right moment to say something that I knew would get a reaction.

Of course there was also the time this past Spring when I told my professor to keep his pants around his ankles. In the moment I said it, considering the context, it made total sense. It took a full minute for my professor to regain composure and begin teaching.

lol what was the context?

 

[WittyAspie]

lol what was the context?

Another guy in class told the professor that he had a burning desire to see the professor's socks. What I meant was, "don't pull your pants leg up to show your socks." What came up of my mouth was, "Keep your pants around your ankles."

 

[Manuheleku]

As a mechanic/engineer in a production environment I've had to learn to put on an act in order to not get taken advantage of. My aspie "resting murder face" helps me to carry on this facade. Every now and then I throw in a bit of crazy, which isn't that difficult for me, and people don't really want to mess with me. Oh, I'm kind of big so I don't look like a pushover and my special interests include weapons. In reality, I'm an easy going person with a very open mind. I get along with just about everyone unless they give me reason not to. Even when I get upset with someone I pretty much forget about it and it's over with the next day. People tell me I look threatening and ask me if I'm into bikes. When I get home I'm a totally different person, but working in a mid 20th century industry run on testosterone, a business which was originally run by the mob in order to launder money, it's what I have to do.