Asociality

[hiraeth]

Over the past few months I've found myself less and less interested in any kind of social interaction.

Casual (in person) social interaction is too exhausting because I have to be mindful that the other people's energy levels are vastly different from mine and make compromises for the sake of the group (I know that some people would say "screw that" but I'm not that kind of person). And "deep" social interaction is equally exhausting because spending time together is actively investing emotional energy into those people and I barely have enough energy to sustain myself.

So it seems like the only kind of social interaction I can manage / find more enjoyable than exhausting is casual online ones. No physical energy drain, no emotional energy drain.

Maybe someone else can relate.

 

[Mia]

Definitely can Hiareth. More and more interaction in person with people is difficult for me. It's not something I noticed as much in my working life, other than the fact that I returned home both physically and emotionally exhausted each day. Now that I've retired from that life, it's difficult to go back into the world, and function in the same manner. Perhaps because I realize now, what a toll its taken from me in the past.

 

[music.forlife7]

Although I do have a select few people in real life who understand me and treat me kindly, I can relate to what you're saying. Online interactions are a lot easier than real life ones. People like to play the victim card with aspies. Very rarely are aspies rude to neurotypicals, it's usually neurotypicals who are rude to us first, and then they like to flip the tables around and pretend that we hurt them. I'm not saying every person is like that, it's just something I've noticed.

 

[Astroganga]

Agree with all of the above. Yes I feel the same way, especially at the moment.

 

[Lealea]

I struggle with sustaining friendships, it does take a lot of effort and i like a lot of 'me' time. socializing online doesnt put that strain on you to interact then and there, you have time to think and analize whats been said and what you need to say. I struggle to keep a conversation going face to face.

 

[Ylva]

Yes, but you described it so perfectly that I can't think of anything to add.

 

[clg114]

At work I am OK with interacting with other people because they called me and I am in charge of what is going on. In social situations, I cheat. My wife is a NT and she guides me. I just follow her lead.

 

[Judge]

Over the past few months I've found myself less and less interested in any kind of social interaction.

Casual (in person) social interaction is too exhausting because I have to be mindful that the other people's energy levels are vastly different from mine and make compromises for the sake of the group (I know that some people would say "screw that" but I'm not that kind of person). And "deep" social interaction is equally exhausting because spending time together is actively investing emotional energy into those people and I barely have enough energy to sustain myself.

So it seems like the only kind of social interaction I can manage / find more enjoyable than exhausting is casual online ones. No physical energy drain, no emotional energy drain.

Maybe someone else can relate.

No harm, no foul. That's a place I've been in for a very long time. I have no guilt for it, and offer no apologies.

It is what it is. We are who we are.

 

[hiraeth]

I believe that I used to be a much more sociable person. Meaning, even though I always sucked at the skill of socializing, I had a genuine interest in people, and wanted to make deep connections. Now, the lack of such a need precedes any kind of lacking in ability I might have.

It doesn't really feel natural to me. If I had more energy, I would like to socialize more, but I don't, and I'm not sure if I ever will. Sometimes I find this very troubling. I come across people who are, I guess, "hardcore" asocial and can't relate to them at all - I don't think most people are stupid / boring / a waste of time etc like some people seem to do and always have. People are alright. It's not them; its me.

 

[tyko berglund]

I struggle with sustaining friendships, it does take a lot of effort and i like a lot of 'me' time. socializing online doesnt put that strain on you to interact then and there, you have time to think and analize whats been said and what you need to say. I struggle to keep a conversation going face to face.

I find that I can not easily find friends, and it appears I have little to say, that might seem meaningful for me
during encounters. I do not enjoy going out in public at all, and more generally I do not enjoy social encounters. I like nerds.

 

[watersprite]

hiraeth Same here. I avoid drainage of my energy by avoiding contact with real life people, except for a small handful who I love.
Unfortunately I have to interact (temporarily) with some people who expect me to care for them, and equally or more unfortunately I cannot fake it well enough to mask the fact that I do not care for them at all. And yet the game is supposed to be played.

 

[nowwhat]

I, too am becoming less sociable as I pass a half-century. I kind of know how my interactions will go by now, and I have a very few good friends, whom I keep friends by seeing them infrequently. Mostly, I enjoy lively chats wiht online people over subjects that interest me. Thankfully, my wife and I can communicate effectively. But socializing for its own sake is vile to me now. Empty social ritual and small talk? Nah I'd rather have a kidney removed through my nose.