Ask a pansexual and gender fluid Aspie!

[carbon12]

Since I was a child, I've been kind of "bullied" because I seemed to be the lesbian girl who wouldn't understand what girls were talking about and wouldn't ever use makeup. I also tended to hang out more with the boys, as they were easier to understand and were sometimes funnier.
But that didn't mean that my sexuality had another direction!

It all started with my best friend. She was kind and was the person with which I hung out the most. She would understand my autism and help me in what I needed, never ever laughing or thinking me of less. We were the perfect couple. Just like Sherlock Holmes and Watson. But! even though I loved her, I didn't tell her, because that would have ruined our friendship, which was magical for both of us. It represented all the good things we had in our lives. I ended up doing nothing with her, yet.

The problem was, not only that I still wished to hang out with boys in a more romantic way, but that I also wanted to be with girls. I identify myself as a pansexual(although I say bisexual) because I don't really care of the gender, appearance or sex of my soulmate. For me, that is having the ability of really loving someone, not caring about how he/she looks, but of how much you love and care for that person.

So, what do you want to know?

 

[Peeta]

Actually I've been wondering. If you're pansexual does that mean you fall for a personality and the looks and sex of the person is just whatever it is? Also, are there physical aspects of a person that you find attractive? Or is appearance completely out of the picture?

I'm kind of glad I can ask someone. Pansexual is one of the few orientations I'm still trying to understand, but have a hard time wrapping my brain around.

 

[carbon12]

Actually I've been wondering. If you're pansexual does that mean you fall for a personality and the looks and sex of the person are just whatever it is? Also, are there physical aspects of a person that you find attractive? Or is appearance completely out of the picture?

I'm kind of glad I can ask someone. Pansexual is one of the few orientations I'm still trying to understand but have a hard time wrapping my brain around.

Thank you for asking!
In my case, I do appreciate something in every body, depending on the sex or identity it represents. I consider each body a piece of art, as not every of these can be judged within the same standards (it would be like comparing Mona Lisa to pop art), I admire each as what it intends to show, not considering the models society establishes at times.
But also, since I can see beauty in every situation and person, I don't really care about how she/he looks like, as I tend more to fall in love with a mind and personality.
I identify as pansexual, but...sexuality is something that tends to be personal, just as religion. It's better not to generalize that all pansexuals think the same, because, as you know, it became a big problem accepting homosexuality. (history repeats itself)

 

[AspiePie]

What do you think of us Omnies and what do you think of Gay Fascism?

 

[carbon12]

What do you think of us Omnies and what do you think of Gay Fascism?

*you mean Homies? gay racism or fascism?
I respect your ideas and preferences because I support them in certain ways as well. I like both sexes(including the sexual identities), so I can empathize with homies, trans and bi's, kind of. I could be considered gay by some people and hetero by others. I am both, and I see the beauty you can feel for the same sex.
About gay fascism, I had to google it, it says that many fascists were actually gay, but I don't see a relationship between sexuality and politics.
About gay racism, it is racism too, discriminating someone for how he/she is born is a terrible idea in every idealism. If a society rules itself with it, it pushes itself down as the time passes. However, I've also met many homies that discriminate us, pansexuals, as well as many other identities, so, it is the same rule for everyone, not only for certain sexual orientations.

 

[Ste11aeres]

*you mean Homies? gay racism or fascism?
I respect your ideas and preferences because I support them in certain ways as well. I like both sexes(including the sexual identities), so I can empathize with homies, trans and bi's, kind of. I could be considered gay by some people and hetero by others. I am both, and I see the beauty you can feel for the same sex.
About gay fascism, I had to google it, it says that many fascists were actually gay, but I don't see a relationship between sexuality and politics.
About gay racism, it is racism too, discriminating someone for how he/she is born is a terrible idea in every idealism. If a society rules itself with it, it pushes itself down as the time passes. However, I've also met many homies that discriminate us, pansexuals, as well as many other identities, so, it is the same rule for everyone, not only for certain sexual orientations.

I think he really did mean facism, not racism, although I can see why you might have thought it was a misspelling.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I don't really care of the gender, appearance or sex of my soulmate. For me, that is having the ability of really loving someone, not caring about how he/she looks, but of how much you love and care for that person.

I'm kind of at the other end of things, belonging in the Asexual spectrum world. Likewise, I can love someone regardless of gender appearance or sex, but it usually has no sexual component. Sex should be accompanied by love, but love doesn't have to be accompanied by sex.

Funny how differently people work in regards to these things.

 

[ancusmitis]

What do you think of us Omnies and what do you think of Gay Fascism?

*you mean Homies? gay racism or fascism?
I respect your ideas and preferences because I support them in certain ways as well. I like both sexes(including the sexual identities), so I can empathize with homies, trans and bi's, kind of. I could be considered gay by some people and hetero by others. I am both, and I see the beauty you can feel for the same sex.
About gay fascism, I had to google it, it says that many fascists were actually gay, but I don't see a relationship between sexuality and politics.
About gay racism, it is racism too, discriminating someone for how he/she is born is a terrible idea in every idealism. If a society rules itself with it, it pushes itself down as the time passes. However, I've also met many homies that discriminate us, pansexuals, as well as many other identities, so, it is the same rule for everyone, not only for certain sexual orientations.

I don't know what Omnies or Homies are.

I know pan, bi, hetero, gay, and also Fascist, but never heard of Gay Fascism. It sounds more like a snarl word than an actual political philosophy. If aspiepie could fill us in on what it represents, I'd be interested in learning.

 

[ancusmitis]

Since I was a child, I've been kind of "bullied" because I seemed to be the lesbian girl who wouldn't understand what girls were talking about and wouldn't ever use makeup. I also tended to hang out more with the boys, as they were easier to understand and were sometimes funnier.
But that didn't mean that my sexuality had another direction!

It all started with my best friend. She was kind and was the person with which I hung out the most. She would understand my autism and help me in what I needed, never ever laughing or thinking me of less. We were the perfect couple. Just like Sherlock Holmes and Watson. But! even though I loved her, I didn't tell her, because that would have ruined our friendship, which was magical for both of us. It represented all the good things we had in our lives. I ended up doing nothing with her, yet.

The problem was, not only that I still wished to hang out with boys in a more romantic way, but that I also wanted to be with girls. I identify myself as a pansexual(although I say bisexual) because I don't really care of the gender, appearance or sex of my soulmate. For me, that is having the ability of really loving someone, not caring about how he/she looks, but of how much you love and care for that person.

So, what do you want to know?

I'm most curious about being gender fluid. It's in the title, but you don't mention it in your post. Does that mean it is unsuitable for asking?

 

[AspiePie]

Omniesexaul is being attracted literally to everything with a pulse? Gay Fascism is wanting a society like the Spartans.. Although mine wouldn't include that one really nasty thing Spartans did?

 

[Ste11aeres]

Omniesexaul is being attracted literally to everything with a pulse? Gay Fascism is wanting a society like the Spartans.. Although mine wouldn't include that one really nasty thing Spartans did?

I've got a completely off topic question. Why do you end sentences with a question mark?

 

[ancusmitis]

Omniesexaul is being attracted literally to everything with a pulse? Gay Fascism is wanting a society like the Spartans.. Although mine wouldn't include that one really nasty thing Spartans did?

Do you mean the throwing babies off of the cliff, or that really awful dish they made out of pig's blood? 'Cuz those are both pretty bad.

 

[carbon12]

I'm most curious about being gender fluid. It's in the title, but you don't mention it in your post. Does that mean it is unsuitable for asking?

No, it's fine, I made this post for questions.
Being gender fluid means to me that I identify with both sexes and that I feel part of both at the same time, or first one and then the other. Feeling female or masculine depending on the situation or my mental state. It also has something to do with dressing or getting along in certain way with other people. Like this:

 

[AspiePie]

Do you mean the throwing babies off of the cliff, or that really awful dish they made out of pig's blood? 'Cuz those are both pretty bad.

I was thinking the boy humping.. But yeah throwing babies off cliffs too... But Pigs blood is tasty!

 

[AspiePie]

I've got a completely off topic question. Why do you end sentences with a question mark?

I don't know I just feel like it sometimes...

 

[Butterfly88]

Are you out about this in real life? If so, how do you deal with people who are not accepting? I'm wondering because I'm bi and struggle with this.

 

[ancusmitis]

No, it's fine, I made this post for questions.
Being gender fluid means to me that I identify with both sexes and that I feel part of both at the same time, or first one and then the other. Feeling female or masculine depending on the situation or my mental state. It also has something to do with dressing or getting along in certain way with other people. Like this:

Can I pm you?

 

[AspiePie]

Are you out about this in real life? If so, how do you deal with people who are not accepting? I'm wondering because I'm bi and struggle with this.

I am totally out in real-life.. However if you or the Gender Fluid come out.. Don't come out in the south?

 

[ancusmitis]

I am totally out in real-life.. However if you or the Gender Fluid come out.. Don't come out in the south?

Screw the south in all sorts of ways. Sorry, I know some people love it, but I've lived here a long time and I'm allowed to be sick of it.

 

[carbon12]

Are you out about this in real life? If so, how do you deal with people who are not accepting? I'm wondering because I'm bi and struggle with this.

I had a hard time dealing with who to tell or trust with any issue of my sexuality, there was never someone who could help me in my depression. And I was depressed because I couldn't fit into any of society's norms. But, I taught myself that I would never be happy if I kept myself hiding from everyone, so I decided to tell someone, anyone, my best friend, my mother, whoever that could not reject me instantly.
And it helped, it made me feel better. Nowadays, I just don't care about haters, I just live my life as I want to live it, making the things that make me happy and complete, and never caring about judging people without stable arguments.
The bad thing was that I became a discriminator-discriminator, understand?