As an NT How do I know when I should ask out my (potentially Aspie) crush?

[mylife2023]

I will try. Gonna just stop thinking about it and let it play out. He may be totally different in person. He doesn’t text much except work related stuff.

I am truly excited though.

 

[sasha_whos_there]

calm down, relax, be yourself.

Completely agree - I don't think the point is to "talk" at all cost. If this were a business meeting, maybe, but this is personal, so perhaps you could just focus on what you like about the guy, because you'll be with him then - which could fundamentally be a pretty cool thing to look forward to (albeit scary). Maybe try to "feel" the moment rather than try to control it?

 

[paloftoon]

I think you need to sway between being straight forward and bold. You seem to be okay with that. If he's not able to ask you enough questions (if any) and if you're okay revealing some personal information on your own or developing context for that, then you should do so. I would just split all bills at least for now.

This isn't something you'd normally do, but it might be appropriate for this context: Maybe when you split a bill, you can ask him if he's ever considered exchanging paying of others for bills and is able to have that kind of trust without having be asked. Since you have understandable reservations about his social etiquette, this is totally the way to go.

 

[mylife2023]

Well our date was Saturday night and he offered to pay. Kept that balance of straight forward and bold, even though I hadn’t received your advice yet.

We sat in a restaurant and talked for four hours! I listened to a lot about his work, but it was far easier than I thought. I recognized several “aspie” moments, but loved every second of it. The ending was a little pleasantly awkward but he wants to do it again and so do I!

Text convos afterward, have been more relaxed and a little flirty.

Thanks to all of you who’ve helped me navigate all of this. Love this forum and all of those I’ve had the pleasure of speaking with!

 

[paloftoon]

Well our date was Saturday night and he offered to pay. Kept that balance of straight forward and bold, even though I hadn’t received your advice yet.

We sat in a restaurant and talked for four hours! I listened to a lot about his work, but it was far easier than I thought. I recognized several “aspie” moments, but loved every second of it. The ending was a little pleasantly awkward but he wants to do it again and so do I!

Text convos afterward, have been more relaxed and a little flirty.

Thanks to all of you who’ve helped me navigate all of this. Love this forum and all of those I’ve had the pleasure of speaking with!

So happy to hear this and we wish you well!

Even though aspies can be more socially awkward, some of them can be more dependable, trustworthy, honest, and they have different ways of thinking that are better than the average person. It sounds like both of you may've found a treasure in each other.