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Article...

Emor

Emor

Well-Known Member
http://www.wikihow.com/Relate-to-Someone-who-Has-Asperger's-Syndrome
What do you think of this article?
I was once approached similarly to this and for one I didn't feel like she was me as a person but more a disorder and she was talking to me to find more about the disorder rather than me, and she was also overwhelming and I ended up having to deliberately push her away.
Misleading article imo. Completely wrong way.
EMZ=|
EDIT: Why is there even a number 7 btw? We're not children :S? I don't get it. It's not being a friend when you act like they're incapable of knowing what's acceptable and not and talking down and it's not relating :S.
Sorry, number 7 just pisses me off. I'm not a ****ing charity case :/.
Sorry I'm sort of pissed off now in general and somehow I came across this article and it hasn't helped.
 
i feel kinda insulted by that article

"let them get used to your presence first" wtf, we arent animals likely to attack people
 
I think the person who wrote this had their heart in the right place and I appreciate the sentiment, and I would have loved it if someone had gone through those steps with me sometime-- nobody has ever taken that kind of effort to be nice to me before, but I do feel the tone of the article is patronizing.

We are making a do and dont list for professors and students at my university regarding students with learning disabilities, if you guys are interested maybe we could make our own version of this list? I am sure my club would be interested in adding something for aspies into our program, I am not the only one in the group. Perhaps we could do a better job of it than the writer of the article.
 
Almost made us look like animals or robots. But at least they said we are individuals too and some of the tips was pretty good and sensible.
 
"Almost made us look like animals or robots. But at least they said we are individuals too and some of the tips was pretty good and sensible. "

I wonder if that is genuinely how we seem to NTs, at least some of us some of the time. I am regularly treated like that.
 
I actually think that it is good advice. I would recommend it to someone if they came to me asking for help with "getting along" with an aspie.

I like the following in the Tips section:
"Never lie to someone with Asperger's or otherwise say or lead them to believe you'll do things for them that you have no intention to. People with Asperger's, especially those that have been bullied as children, often have trust issues and even if they only catch you lying even once, may never trust you again."
I never forgive people who deliberately mislead me. Or people who indulge in character assassination for their own benefit.

Also:
"Some aspies may feel more confident talking to someone who Is Not their own age. Either being older or younger. As many aspie's may have been bullied by peers of this own age group when they were younger."
This has been true of me for my whole life.

Also:
"Never talk down to someone with Asperger's Syndrome, or talk to them like you would to a child. It is deeply offensive and can cause someone with AS to doubt themselves and reinforce/cause depression. How would you like it if someone treated you like a child?"
Good advice. Not that it bothers me if someone talks down to me - I find it more amusing than anything else. Perhaps because of my ego and thinking that my logic/intellect/rational-world-view is superior to everyone else's.
 
I have one reservation about the article:

If everyone had been this good at relating to me when I was younger, then I would never have been forced to adapt and develop the skills to function better. Not that I'm hugely functional, but I am so much better than I used to be, thanks to an unforgiving world.
 
I think it assumes too much about aspies. In the tips and warnings section it emphasizes that we are all individuals, but the steps are all assuming that you are dealing with the cut and dry stereotypical aspie, and because we are all so different you almost never are dealing with the cut and dry stereotypical aspie. Very few of the actual "steps" are a sensible way to interact with me, you can't assume just because I am an aspie that those steps are anything but strange. The tips and warnings at the end, I thought, were much more useful though.
 
Yep, Wiki anything is viewed as reputable :/.
I actually didn't read the tips section... I just subconsciously disregarded as a load of useless technicalities(like copyright and information about Wiki How, etc.).
I'll read them later.
But it was more the 7 simple steps or w.e. I've had people approach me like that and it really didn't work, especially since I consider my lunch recreational, like everyone else, and it just wrecks it when I have to make an effort at making conversation. Then it's not fun but a chore :/.
EMZ=]
 
Mike said:
"let them get used to your presence first" wtf, we arent animals likely to attack people
Click to expand...

lmao   :lol:


I read the article How to live with Aspergers, which was linked from the article Emor posted. One thing I came across was this:

Remember to talk with people, don't "talk at" them. A good ratio in a one on one conversation is to listen about 60% of the time and talk about 30%.
Click to expand...

WTF happened the other 10%?
 
Yeah, that doesn't make any sense in that it doesn't total to 100%, but also if it's a one on one conversation then why is it good for the disclaimer to be only speaking 40(30:S)% of the time and the other speaking 60%?
If it's because the disclaimer doesn't have AS that's a pretty stupid reason because since when do AS people want to talk more?
I rarely contribute to anything in irl conversations, I'd rather listen.
EMZ=]
 
I have read, in instructions for NTs not aspies, that it is best to let the other person talk more until you get to know them well enough to split 50/50. Most people prefer to talk more than listen, and if your speech encourages them to speak more then they will feel like you are interested in talking to them, rather than hearing yourself talk. I guess it's part of being polite when you first meet someone.
 
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