Are you an older adult that feels somewhat marginalized and at times gaslit by medical personnel?

[Aspychata]

There are some forum members who are employed by hospitals and give great advice here, so please don't take this personally.
My partner really had poor medical treatment and he just continued not to ask questions to help make better informed decisions. One office refused to schedule him for cataract surgery, l just called a different place and he was scheduled immediately. Two of his doctors never had important labs run on him, and he might have died from this, however his new doctor immediately had him check into ER after his labs came back. I read that has we age, some doctors are just not motivated to really dx our symptoms, but prefer to get us in and out quickly. He had excellent insurance, yet he still was unable to receive critical service.

I just had a dental appointment, and the person was dismissive, refused to ask the dentist about a service l wanted, wouldn't stop pinching my lips, (ugg ). l read a lot of bad reports of horrible dentists, and companies that just want to fleece you in corporate dentistry land.

What has been your experience?

 

[Mary Terry]

@Aspychata - I've encountered some bad doctors - and my husband is a retired MD! As soon as I get a bad feeling about the competency of a doctor, I change doctors. I (finally) have a good female general practitioner who runs standard blood tests annually, specialized blood tests if symptoms indicate a need for it, and who listens to me. She has referred me to a couple of specialists, too.

My husband says that any doctor who does not listen is incompetent by definition. If a doctor or dentist is dismissive of me, I find another one.

The same thing applies to veterinarians, too.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

In the US, this is consistent with my experience, as well...I experience it from a few perspectives...as a patient myself and as someone involved in the ICUs at the hospital...but my wife, a RN working in a cardiac outpatient clinic will also talk about her experiences.

For some perspective, some things to consider:
1. Q. What do you call the person who graduated dead last in his/her class from med school? A. Doctor. Some are quite gifted, intelligent, empathetic...and others not so much.

2. In general, the level of comprehensive and quality of health care tends to decrease once you are out of the major metropolitan areas. Say what you want about young, inexperienced, interns and residents at teaching hospitals, but they do tend to be searching for and asking a lot of questions from their attending physicians. It keeps everyone on their "A" game. Furthermore, these large metropolitan hospitals have a full complement of specialists in every area, surgeons, research teams, etc. The smaller, slower-paced, outlying hospitals and clinics do not have that dynamic. There are no specialists in house, simply generalists...and some do not know what they do not know...furthermore the staff are not as experienced in high-level care, nor do they even have the medical equipment to perform it. If you are pregnant and thinking a quiet, slow-paced, rural hospital is for you to deliver your baby...think again...everything may be fine, until it is not, and then you and the baby are in trouble. The good ones will be quick to refer you to a specialist, the others will make some attempt at managing things themselves with hit and miss outcomes. A good chunk of my job is transporting infants and children from small, outlying hospitals to our facility for higher-level care. The adult team does the same on their end.

3. Specialists are extremely overworked with very tight time schedules in their offices. Leasing office space is very expensive, they pay their own staff, and they still have procedures and make rounds in the hospitals, often more than one hospital. The end result is that it can take months to even get an appointment, it can be cancelled at the last minute, requiring rescheduling, and when you do get in there, they will have 4-8 patients in different rooms waiting, and are limited to about 10 minutes per patient. It has to go at that pace simply to meet patient demands, but also to pay the bills, and many get so darned burnt out, they rarely are in medicine past the age of 50 before moving on to something totally different or retiring. It is an absolute nightmare of a "rat race" for them. Can things get missed? Yes. Are they more inclined to go down the most common pathways instead of really investigating secondary, contributing causes? Yes. None of this is good, obviously, but completely understandable given the pinch they are put in.

4. If you have a specific type of health condition that requires a specialist...and you are admitted to the emergency room, the ER staff are not going to understand all the specialty medications you are on, nor why your lab results are the way that they are, nor how to manage it appropriately. My wife gets SO pissed when her patients are horribly mismanaged by ER doctors who are quick to intervene with inappropriate care, or worse, send them home with a recommendation to see their specialist...when they need appropriate life-saving care immediately. If my wife sends a patient to the ER, she will call the ER team and give them the appropriate information...but there are many instances where her patients are in the ER or admitted to the hospital, and she is unaware for days.

5. There will be NO consistency in health care from place to place nor doctor to doctor. That is the reality in the US. A med center, clinic, or hospital in one area will not be the same in another area. Keep that in mind no matter what your individual situation is. Nothing wrong with looking up medical information on the internet or AI chat bots...but do not assume it is appropriate nor correct for your specific situation...and do use it to ask physician questions. Ask a lot of questions. Ask for referrals. Ask for second opinions. Do not worry about the doctors feelings...they probably don't mind at all.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Even medical professionals plot on a bell curve. some barely passed, some were exceptional students.

 

[Dagan]

Yup. I had the dental issue the first of the year - took going to the fourth clinic, switching all records and finally getting my infected, cracked molar yanked. It was annoying and shouldn't have been so complicated. I have solid dental insurance.

Just two weeks ago, my daughter has a new neurologist assigned to her, and finally (it's also a woman for once), they listened to everything she had to say and weren't dismissive of anything at all. Temp spikes are her epilepsy triggers. It's clear as day. It can't be more obvious. Treat it!

Now, at the same time, the congressional mandate for healthcare to redo all records and such a while back...it about scrubbed her records for all major tests done in early 2023, so guess what they all keep talking about having to do again? I flat out told those people, "Okay, so you don't have the test results or records still on file, but you sure haven't forgotten that I need to pay you for having done them all? That's awesome." No regrets for saying that.

 

[Judge]

This may not be your experience, but it has been mine for years.

Dentists in particular have alarmed me for years over the advent of cosmetic dentistry. With so many dentists abandoning or sidelining general dentistry in pursuit of the those "big bucks" so associated with cosmetic dentistry. And in the process often leaving general dentistry to their "second string" dentists, while the more experienced ones got to stick with co$metic denti$try.

And perhaps our particular demographic just isn't as lucrative....especially given the limitations of Medicare which may eventually "disappear" anyways.

When their customers (forget patients) open their mouth and all a dentist sees are dollar signs. Whether you really need their services or not.

Equally as problematic has always been the issue of dental insurers who would claim a dentist wasn't using "state rates" and so they'd "lowball" virtually any and all claims. Forcing me to pick up the difference. Even when my dentist PROVED to them he was using rates right out of the book.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Took me a while to find my current dentist pretty sure he was top of his class.

 

[Dagan]

Judge..........that is so, so true. I don't mean to derail the thread, but I can relate my practical FX dealings with the dental industry, actually. It's been about 7 or 8 years ago, now, and they changed everything in regards to cosmetic dentistry, especially including any / all supplies for such. It was swift and immediate. Suddenly, everything that I used to be able to purchase for creating "horror / monster" veneers, dentures or teeth caps - all of it became restricted to sales via medical agencies, only. So, now, either there's a company that only has the funds and licensing to keep getting said supplies, and you have to have them send you a customization kit and then your requested products....or, in my case, I have a friend of a friend that is a medical supply agent and can purchase the supplies to still make my own products. Even still, most of it forces someone to purchase in bulk quantities, and that's obviously more expensive than you'd prefer. I have found some other work-arounds for just creating teeth caps / fangs that don't require dental specific supplies, but otherwise, I have to have an upfront paying client who'll cover the supplies before I can do full on mouth fittings / veneers / colorings.

Long story short: the dental industry has revamped to control everything related to them, and they've basically created a "red tape" framework of countless more people involved, including insurance folks that you have to deal with. It's maddening.

 

[Outdated]

I live under a very different medical system to many of you. In Australia we all get free health cover from birth until death automatically, regardless of income, wealth or anything else. Citizenship guarantees free health.

Because of this our medical system works differently to a lot of other countries. Here if you want to see a specialist you have to go to a GP first and get a referral, (free) This helps cut costs of and streamlines services by limiting the workload of specialists to cases that actually require a specialist.

Say what you want about young, inexperienced, interns and residents at teaching hospitals, but they do tend to be searching for and asking a lot of questions from their attending physicians. It keeps everyone on their "A" game. Furthermore, these large metropolitan hospitals have a full complement of specialists in every area, surgeons, research teams, etc.

This I have found to be very true.

General practitioners in Australia I have found to be very hit and miss, there's some good ones out there but very few and far between. I think the great majority of them are the ones that really struggled through med school and barely passed and they can only work in small clinics where they're not subjected to the same sorts of peer reviews that doctors in a hospital are.

Because of this I gave up on going to see a GP many long years ago, the great majority of them are nothing more than licensed drug pushers. Instead if something's really wrong I'll just go to the emergency department of my local hospital. (also free) I've found doctors in hospitals to be much more attentive, much more knowledgeable, and most importantly of all, much more likely to consult with other doctors and nurses if they're unsure about anything.

Social hierarchy also comes in to play and most of the general practitioners are very touchy about their social standing, where as true professionals don't suffer this desperate need to keep shoring up their self esteeem. So trying to tell an average GP that their diagnosis is wrong instantly turns in to a pissing contest over who is more knowledgeable and intelligent, where as talking to staff in a hospital triggers no such response.

 

[Aspychata]

It was a small town clinic that didn't run the labs on my partner, something l never thought about. Nobody is derailing this thread. l have read a lot of horrible reviews on dentists, and corporate dental practices who gauge anyone , and better reviews on single dentists who are more compassionate. But the amount of bad dentists and doctors that practice in central Florida is atrocious. I read a lot of the bad reviews on the Next Door media platform, along with all the bad roofing con artists, and pool contractors, all who take a hefty 10,000 or 15,000 deposit, then come for a couple work days, then vanish.

 

[Aspychata]

@Outdated , yup , l totally agree. My partner has been on bad blood pressure meds for years, and went to ER, and they immediately changed his BP pills, and his BP completely dropped.