I think the social science of tones can be complicated. So many factors can have a crucial effect. For example, when I am very tired, I have a tone that sounds very much like an angry one, when people contact me. I am not angry, but my sleepiness factor gave my tone the sense that I was. Now, someone could be angry and shout at you, but he or she may just be angry at someone else and the mood of that just brushed off when the person addressed you. My mother, when angry at someone else, will have an angry tone to most everyone even though she is only angry at that one person. Then we have the humorous people who like to pretend to be angry just to get an aumsing reaction. The list of complications just goes on and on. I mean, the person may even be in a play where he or she is acting out a short-tempered person and decided that morning to sound angry at everyone just for practice.
I'm saying that it can be difficult to decipher one's intent behind their tone if you don't really know the person. I find that it often takes knowing the person to a degree. My father knows me well, so when I sound angry late at night to him, he brushes it off, knowing I'm just tired. If he didn't know, he'd've likely been offended. Everyone is different. I believe it just takes time to get to know people well, and when you do, you can learn how they act with their tones. I don't think their is a guide to understanding the tones of the general population. I think each person has their own social science that must be gotten used to. If a friend of mine is always laughing and joking around, being publicly-unphased by his troubles, then he speaks to me in a furious tone, I know he is likely just being sarcastic, or goofing around.
You can be an expert house designer, but that doesn't mean you can walk into any house and know just where the bathrooms are. You have to get to know each and every house. That may seem like a lot of work, but houses really don't take too long to get to know, just like spending time with a person can yield knowledge of his or her demeanor somewhat quickly. I could tell a great deal of one's personality after only one meeting. However, when in doubt, it doesn't hurt to ask. "I hope I didn't anger you," comes from my mouth often. The person might say yes, or that he or she is just tired, had a bad day, etcetera. If you spend enough time with someone, I think you'll learn how they use their tones in time, but whenever it's questionable, I can't think of any people who didn't like being asked about it. I'm not sure if this was of any use to you, but I hope things work out for the best.
