So this is the first of many messages I intend to post to gather some opinions on my ongoing hopelessness for romance with the ladies on dating sites (I'll try to answer other peoples questions I guess to return the favour). The messages you see below were opening messages I sent on 'plenty of fish' a fair amount of which caused the intended person to checkout my profile it showed, but in the grand scheme of roughly 60 individual messages I only got 3 responses, all positive yet quickly or eventually leading nowhere (to be included perhaps on another post).
Here are a few samples (bear in mind that some are in reference to their profiles, which I always show I've read);
Your profile pic kinda looks like you're wondering off into your own world lol, but in admiring your eyes and your beauty that's a world that I'd like to find my way into. So if we were both on a bus and you sat down next to me with us both looking initially in opposite directions and we turn briefly towards each-other and I flash my profile pic smile....what (if anything) happens next ???????
Hmmm, curvy, sophisticated, beautiful, decent effort put into her profile, not too sporty....yup I'm interested. To me you have a more exclusive beauty that grows with each passing look and hopefully a silvery voice then to top it off.
Pic #3 is the embodiment of all of the above!!
Whoa!! nice profile pic, it's nice to know that girls like you can still stand out even when there's such as massive choice on here. I'm sure in the event you are interested in me, we can learn more about each other, otherwise it was nice looking at you and all the best xx
Can't believe people thought it was a tan, nice tagline and I'd say you wrote a fairly long profile thats actually worth reading and too long to quote every great bit to prove I actually read it. I'll challenge your adoration for dogs with the lovely squeeks and peeps of a rat any day though so ;-P
5 randomn facts...ummm; I love the smell of magazine print. I happen to think that Indian women have the world greatest smiles. I'm wearing 'wheres wally' socks right now.I love marmite. Oh god,,,a fifth one...umm....well if you're actually interested in me at all I'll get back to you on that.
GOT A RESPONSE
Jeez...talk about a gorgeous princess with a fantastic smile (can;'t remember how to do an eye boggling smiley) but yer wow. I just hope you'll wanna talk to me. Take care xx
I am going to skip resding through the whole list of comments. Takes to long, and doesn't feel comfortable. (personal). But I think I can add intresting 5 cents. Most of what I say, is not actually from me. I paid a lot for it. And even more to compare. And I don't think all the members where fake, not there respond unresl. It also eorks in private life. And I found the theory plausable from the start. But this dating site topic is from personal experience, and my personal experience is a sample of one.
> Tends to be insignificant by default.
I read this message and the next. And I realized that was part of my answer. So I adres this last.
But here are the tidbit suggestions I could remembrr. (like cooking, times are only needed in the beginning. Eventuallynit becomes automatic and flexable.
Ifound as basis, just the idea of, he hallo. To work. better than anything like a one liner. Unless the one liner is used on purpose. Or you sure it is complete autentic, original, and really appropiate.
When writing your message, you should feel like this.nYes I like, but if you don't, don't worry there more fishes in the sea. It isn't about that there more fishes in the ses, it just means you are feeling worried about how she response. Do effort, but don't feel like she is perfect. Feeling matters. You can act, it will fail. It seems eoman have a spevial organ to sense that.
Otherwise, personally I liketo give a compliment. That seems to be what I natural do with people, male, female, anyways. However. Complimenter on something that is A...true. Very important. But wlso something others would directly recognise. If a woman is not super attractive, but attrictive to you..;.tell her what others don't say. But if a woman is very attractive, tell that thing that others tend to mis, while they are staring at the obvious.
About that be the way. Beautifulbwoman are not or another bad n.ame. You just might not realized that your genuine effort was she heard 900 times in the last 30. That is a bit said to powerful, but I might even be wrong there.
Also when a beautiful woman. doesn't respond, it migh be she hadn't even read your message. Or decided to stop reading all together. Yeah it is a funny thing with men. They all go for the same one. To understand what happens then, read up on your basic economics. I think supply and demwnd will cover it.
. Not suggesting you lower your stand, but make it more specific. Don't spend effort on the one EVERYbody likes, spend effort on the one YOU like.
Oh yeah. Write proper sentences. I never managed to get hold of a girls mailbox, but....yes there apperantly is only blood enough for one organ. I can't believe it. But from reaction, I got the impression they got tons and tons of trash. On the other hand, you yourself doesn't hwbe to be a grammernazi. But my first feelings tell me, rather tell a girl that writes perfect, that you are impressed, than the other way around. (grammarnazi's should date girls that know grammar!)
Trying to summerize it, I realized an intrestimg veriation that is basically already said. Say something she doesn't expect, and is definitely not said by everybody else. Though I suspect that is true in job soliciticing as well, the risk is the same. Say the wrong thing, and your chances drop to zero. But then again, the average tends to be also chances zero. When you fail, fail big.
And I am not sure about this one. Your personal message is the most important. But your profiles houldn't be bad either. Though I suspect that leaving a bit mystery might help not blow your effort by a dissapointing profile.
By the way, my favorite dating guru I can compare to stephen hawkings compared to an average highschool teacher. (not true in my case. Mine was a university professor with a passion for kids. Always funny when you run into him at universite. Yes that was his day job.
. I mean it is not that it is rubbish, but it tends to be cheap tricks. This was a psychology (whatevera), who could figure out what was going wrong, spend a life time researching it. And though his drewm is that the right guy doesn't svrew it up with misses right.nI can't blame him, for also makinh a bit extra money teaching guys with less noble motives.
Yeah, it is/was a life time passion for me to. Learned me a lot. But I think the true explanation came when I got the Aspie diagnosis.
. I always eondered, but I do or 'am', (am more important than do), why does it not wotk. I found out it always worked, but I was never picking up the NT signals that it worked.
By the way, in relation to the first suggestion, yes confident seems the core. Not acted. But real. Acted is like bad makeup instead of real beauty in a woman. How to explain confidence the quickest. FEEL you deserve a positive responds. Funny enough something that tends to happen when you got enough positive responses in the past. (funny how nature works
). But if that past does not exist yet, you ....well you have to create that somehow. I just found out I was Aspie. But I suspect heing confident of something else, might help you also become confident in this.
About the messages I read. Well reading changed where higher,because they where well written. But I suspected you told beautiful woman that thry where beautiful.True to you. But you might not even habe made a bib on the raderscreen between all the static. First idea, when you say other good thingsl just leabe out the whole beautiful part al together. You can always say it later. And if they where not beautiful, well I said ALWAYS say the true. Not super model can be very beautiful. But say it than in personal terms why her way of beautiful is beautiful to you.
Oh yeah, but that came later. Now I tend to also express feelings that I have about somebodies personality, but, I would stay away from that one. That might be something personal and very rare. You don't want to be wrong. Though being wrong and doubting yourself, is maybe not that bad either. Sometimee it wins you a chance to get to know them better.
Oh yeah. Not asked. After talking, you are judging her. She is you.
. Not as a piece of meat. Unless that is her thing.
. But don't be rude, better to talk positive trues. Than mention negative trues of why not. But you are doing everybody a value. No readon to contimue if it probably would work anyways. Amd as I side not, THAT is a form of expressing confidence. Don't go into arrogance. Unless she is a 10 on the hotness scale. And you somehow came bavk that arrogance up.
. And it is always nicer to be liked for something you are, than for......just automatic because the guy is desperate.
. It is oke to make her earn it.
