~~~ Are These Good First Messages To Ladies On P.O.F Dating (Opinions Please) ?? ~~~

[Suiseiseki]

A girl literally just asked me out and I had messaged her complementing her on liking Hellsing Ultimate
(this is what I said; Hellising Ultimate is awesome! I complement you on liking such a great show about vampires lol)

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

Though I'll positively if reluctantly follow the wisdom of the crowd, I always figured that drumming compliments from something as simple as interests was pointless (given that it could be shared by so many other of the women on the site and it was surely the opinions and thoughts of the person that were easier to compliment) even though I'd naturally try to create a bit of an opening conversation around interests. However when someone is so vague with their interests and just puts movies, TV, walks etc but she's physically attractive in some way (which is 50% done and dusted at a glance) you'd find yourself asking the same questions after a while
"these are my favourite films...what are yours?" (I've already mentioned this in my profile if she reads it).
"I like xxxx film because xxxxxxxx, what do you think" (she may not have seen or give a horses a*s about that film, waste of time)

Already I could think of more, but they seem tragically desperate lol when really I'd just like to say "grrr f*ck sake, why couldn't you have been a bit specific, put some opinions in etc before you regurgitate the womens cliche of 'won't answer to guys who say this and that...' and 'must be able to hold good conversation' ".

Also you do wonder that if they're are supposedly so many creeps out there, why not just go to a sex dating site, or are they too guilty or afraid/disinterested in women who actually wanna do it? Besides, surely these so-called players will eventually settle down with someone (could even have been the girl who turned him down because she correctly or incorrectly sussed he was only after 1 thing).
Lol, couldn't you girls just give every guy the benefit of the doubt by default unless he literally says something perverted?

A girl literally just asked me out and I had messaged her complementing her on liking Hellsing Ultimate
(this is what I said; Hellising Ultimate is awesome! I complement you on liking such a great show about vampires lol)

Actually whilst I applaud your success, lets face it, women trust women far more easily and the big world conspiracy and fear is that they all turn to eachother for love and tell the men to f*ck off because unlike the guys they lusted after, they understand eachother so much better and unlike two straight guys, they're happy (without being gay) to be physically affectionate with eachother....intimacy is hardly a really difficult transition from here and meanwhile god only knows what happens to the overly abundant guys (most of which can't convert to being gay). **Sorry, overactive imagination alert**

 

[Suiseiseki]

I'm not a woman, I'm a man

 

[Plumeria]

couldn't you girls just give every guy the benefit of the doubt by default unless he literally says something perverted?

I can only speak for myself … when I first started online dating, I did give guys the benefit of the doubt. It was through experience that I became weary of many of the guys intentions.

Why don't they just go on a sex dating site? I have no clue.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

I'm not a woman, I'm a man

LMFAO!! ....sh*t....a thousand apologies man!!

Ok then, what site was that on?

Think I'm gonna be laughing at that one into the night lol....what a f*c*ing idiot I am lol.

 

[Suiseiseki]

LMFAO!! ....sh*t....a thousand apologies man!!

Ok then, what site was that on?

Think I'm gonna be laughing at that one into the night lol....what a f*c*ing idiot I am lol.

It happens
okcupid, didn't care for pof, had two dates there, neither went well
made a friend, she's cool

 

[AsheSkyler]

lets face it, women trust women far more easily

I'm not so sure about that.

There is some truth in movies who show women who drag the other women with them on potty breaks so they won't try to yank their fellow out from under them.

 

[Plumeria]

I'm not so sure about that.

There is some truth in movies who show women who drag the other women with them on potty breaks so they won't try to yank their fellow out from under them.

A lot of woman live by the motto "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

didn't care for pof, had two dates there, neither went well

I always wonder how much it matters about where you meet online (unless it's a sexual encounter site- although as a useless footnote, they do offer dating too on those sites)?
But also it has to be said that with so many cultural differences (to be respected though) and so many from so many different countries on here right now, that if you were say from America (haven't checked if you are) then when it comes for arguments sake to talking about women (as opposed to here in the UK) then you may aswell be comparing..I dunno...well not quite two different species, but ultimately certain countries I would imagine are a norm unto themselves and following the advice could be tricky or counterproductive when applying to your own locale. The expectations, customs etc may not transfer so well.

 

[Suiseiseki]

I donno I still think the UK and Canada are western enough where a lot of the same advice can fit.

Point is, how could what I said not be a good opener?

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

I donno I still think the UK and Canada are western enough where a lot of the same advice can fit.

Point is, how could what I said not be a good opener?

From what I sorta know (I'm not and probably never will be well traveled admitedly) yes I'd be more inclined to agree about canada (and come to think of it, there probably are a few or more places it holds true for to).
As for your opener, no I can't fault it (as a singular example) but unless you tell me that it's happened fairly often with variations of the same style (and you can't be allowed to be much better looking than me or your example probably won't hold true as it could be put down to your looks) I always go by my self made philosophy that for something to be true it has to work in your favour at least 2/3 times and if more are made then it's 4/6...6/9 and so on......and anything else is just 'lucky'. But duly noted never the less Suiseiseki as I will indeed need examples of openers that work without mentioning looks and if it works once and you end up marrying miss 'perfect for you' then my challenge unfairly still probably doesn't hold true either.

 

[Suiseiseki]

It's worked far more then it's failed.
Worked more then what you're doing is, at least.

 

[pushpin]

Different things work for different kinds of people. The words that may spark the interest of one woman may turn another woman completely off. It really depends on the type of women that you are looking to date. It sounds as though you specifically would prefer to date NT women*, so I will share a bit of what I've observed of some NT women.

For some, there is a flirting game that is well enjoyed. This game is like a dance. I can't give you specifics because I don't understand it and find it silly once it is explained to me as it just avoids the point; it's too indirect and, to my brain, purely nonsensical. When I say that it is like a dance, I mean that it's like a back and forth with a lot of indirect, read-between-the-lines communication. So, you should learn how to do this if you don't already know how.

For the women that really enjoy being noticed for their physical features, perhaps very direct comments on their figure and how their figure makes you feel (using words such as "sexy" says more about how their looks make you feel than it says about their looks) work. I would expect that these women would require you to be within certain parameters in looks department, also. I have met women who are like this, and some are very superficial and have openly stated that they would never date a man who didn't have a certain kind of car, etc.

For others, an opener like that of user Suiseiseki would totally work.

It really depends on what you are looking for.

If NT women are the women you are specifically seeking, you should probably seek advice from NT women, which you have received from the user Plumeria, for instance.

I very rarely connect with NT women, though it seems that I much better understand NT men as I have had NT women come to me regularly for romantic advice on their NT boyfriends because my advice tends to work.

There are also many reasons why a woman may not respond back: things going on in her personal life, wanting to focus on dating someone else at the time but not ready to let go of her online profile, not interested for another reason, or other things.

*I am in no way implying that all NT women are the same. Not at all!

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

It's worked far more then it's failed.
Worked more then what you're doing is, at least.

It does seem like many guys fail (maybe there are reasons or maybe it's just impossible for a great deal). If it succeeds more than it fails then you're one of a few and good for you, you'll have what many rarely do (choices). But again, if you were considered a 7/10 and I was considered a 5 then you could already have an advantage, but I'll assume nothing I guess as it's probably going to be overly counterproductive and resentful so maybe instead I'll keep a note of you in the future chance I feel your advice would be prudent.

It sounds as though you specifically would prefer to date NT women*

You assume too much and still I know too little. I can't write a profile to save my life....why...because I like too many aspects/personalities etc- black girls, indian girls, white girls, shy girls, outspoken girls, smart girls, not so smart girls, bbw, slim girls, nerds, emos, naughty, nice,immediately beautiful, average looking but better with every look, younger than me, my age, quite a lot older than me etc etc etc
So I'm aiming for NT girls, um well they probably intimidate me a bit more initially but the reality is I could love both equally for totally different reasons. It's quicker and easier for me to say what I mostly (though not in some cases always) don't like than what I do because despite being a little unintentionally offensive sometimes I seem to naturally wanna be appreciative of as many women as possible and trying even for instance to say that I wouldn't want say Chinese girls probably couldn't wholly be said either because though the chances for me personally are much lower, I've seen the odd few who shine with their looks, body or personality (or a combo of all) which then means I can't even rule them out (not that I could respectfully mention this as a 'want' or 'don't want' in my profile of course). Phew and breathe!! This'll be another question I'll eventually post separately but yer dilemma because the ideal profile suddenly has too many directions to go and suddenly my catalogue of almost 1000 personally sourced dating sites (probably got a little obsessed in the end, but only a member of a few) came to grow.

And no you don't need to show me the way to the psychiatric ward or get me committed after that ramble lol, but I'm sure when I wake up from the bed I'm now going to go to sleep in that there'll be some additional great advice to compliment the surprisingly good multitude of varied advice I've received thus far....like yours pushpin (but seriously how did you come up with that username lol, it raises a respectful smile every time I see it)?

 

[pushpin]

I apologize for my assumption. Know that it wasn't a negative assumption or anything like that. It's just what I (incorrectly) thought.

And my username, I don't know. There isn't much of a story behind my username. It's what came to my head when it was time to pick one. Push pins are useful. I like push pins. I also like the way the two words sound together.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

I apologize for my assumption. Know that it wasn't a negative assumption or anything like that. It's just what I (incorrectly) thought

Sorry I must have unintentionally implied I was offended, you didn't. No worries, I was writing like I was ranting in my head at the time!!

 

[Suiseiseki]

Don't take my advice, whatever, I tried to help...

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

Don't take my advice, whatever, I tried to help...

Apologies, your advice may very well work out for me (coupled with the rest given from others and no doubt for questions I've still yet to ask). If I am an aspie then I'm an extreme in some ways because you've just seen a small example (though it was more so against myself) of perhaps self doubt through over-analyzing coupled with negativity. I did say before that I could perhaps see myself asking of you again because you having success in online dating (as far as responses go, never asked about how many women you've actually met through it) is so rare to find online because most guys are in the same boat asking why it's not working. But yer please don't think I don't value it Suiseiseki . I just hope you won't mind me asking more at some later point.

 

[Suiseiseki]

I have AS too, in terms of how many I have met, from July until now, 4 come Wednesday, 5 come January (long story).
Seems I am having better luck with Okcupid,I have met a lot of my dear friends on facebook, nothing romantic, friends with benefits-sort of thing here and there I suppose (mostly showing), 1 legit friends with benefits awhile back.

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

nothing romantic, friends with benefits-sort of thing here and there I suppose (mostly showing)

I don't expect you to answer this of course, but 'mostly showing' sounds like flashing eachothers bits at eachother or something lol

from July until now, 4 come Wednesday, 5 come January

And now for the serious stuff, I think if you don't mind I'll file you away (so to speak) under 'p' for potentially helpful and when or if the time comes I might ask for continued and or alternative advice because by then (having made haphazard attempts/efforts in the meantime) I might have gathered enough info to leave small gaps of info that need filling. By all means let me know of any future successes if you want.
Cheers.