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Aperger's and Envy

It's short lived, weakly expressed and felt when it happens, but I've got different (and sometimes silly) reasons for it. Having a better grasp of social interaction would be nice, sure, but I in no way envy or (have the wrong kind of) pity the majority of humans on this planet.

Helps to know that everyone has their struggles and burden to carry, whether or not people wish to express it. If I suddenly become a different person, that much isn't going to change so better not to waste time with envy.
 
As an adult, I can't say I experience envy or jealousy. I just live my life in accordance with my own possibilities and limitations rather than that of others.

Though I can't say I've ever attributed this to being on the spectrum either.
 
Not jealous, I lived in that world for a good part of my life. I don't have to anymore. Envy is something of a four letter word.
 
Bolletje said:
I am rarely envious, although I occasionally feel sad over my own inability to be as spontaneous as I’d like to be.
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This is close to what I feel, but, in my case, I would replace 'sad'... with, frustrated (by my inability to be spontaneous). Additionally, and at the risk of going off topic, I would like to acquire the ability to tell the difference between genuine niceness/kindness and feigned kindness.
 
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I think we do feel it from time to time as there are things we can't do because of our disability. Still there's not a point to be envious. We should be happy with what we have and the many things we can do.
 
I suppose I am a bit jealous of my older Brother, he's got the kind of life I'd literally kill for, a good job, a Wife, a nice big House and 2 kids.
 
"envy", "envy" ... wirr wirr ... ... does not compute
wirr ... wirr ... serves no purpose ... envy is pointless

find value in your own life
 
I wish I had a bit more income. I'm on disability, and it's not quite enough to look after myself with. But I expect that's pretty normal for anyone in my position.

I definitely wish I were not blind to so much of non-verbal communication. I'm tall, lean, fairly good-looking, and ought to do well with women so far as that's concerned. If I indicate that I wish to go further it's the wrong time, and when it's the right time I seem to miss the signals and then they feel that I'm not interested, but don't say so. I then watch them go off with undeserving a**holes whose primary advantage is simply not being blind.

There are some real jerks out there who use their ability to read people to abuse vulnerable women. Even if I didn't end up with the ability to read people I'd like to be able to take that away from them.

I'm aware that thinking about this is negative and I shouldn't be so bitter about it, but that's hard. I've not yet given up on romance, and I am still trying to figure out how to compensate for or circumvent this problem.

I wouldn't exchange what I have for that, though. I have a better than average deal mentally so far as I can tell. But while I still have hope I'm very lonely, and it hurts.
 
pelecanus87 said:
How envious are you? How do you cope with it?
Click to expand...

I don't think I was given the potion for that emotion... I just do the best with what I have, I compete with myself to try and improve what I have... I fail a lot with it, but I cant deal with stuff I can feel.

I think I know what envy is in words, but only in a definition. I know what feeling like a loser feels like... : )
 
Envy and jealousy? Yes. Every day I see men who can walk up to a woman and start talking. Every day I see couples, if not in love, at least in like or lust. I wish I had these abilities. It was these observations of people who had abilities I lacked and wanted so desperately to have that made me suicidal by age 9. It was about mid college that I realized I could not have this and never would, so resigned myself to never having it. It still hurts, especially around the Christmas season.
 
As far as I am aware, I don't suffer envy or jealousy - I don't do comparative thinking when it comes to other people and their lives, behaviours, possessions or partners, because the existence of these things, of differences between them and me, is just a matter of fact not of subjective opinion.

After reading through the thread so far, the only thing that strikes me as possible is a sense that perhaps I would have wished to be better at women and relationships, but since I have had a number of relationships over the years, I haven't lacked for the company of women at all really. And given that none of those relationships ended particularly well, none were the right woman anyway.

I suppose that it helps that I am pretty much happy with where I am at in life as a whole, so I'm really not concerned if other people have more money, a better house, a prettier wife, a nicer car - whatever. Because on the other hand others might look at me and wish they had what I have. Quite pointless.
 
I find myself say "Ugh. I envy you." many more times than I'd like to admit... I never feel jealousy, though!
It's just that I feel I lack the inner strength to fight for dreams that I see those around me achieve. And then I envy that strength, not per se the goal that they achieved.
 
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