Anyone Often Cancel or Change Plans?

[djn]

I've been wondering if my tendency to change my plans with people is an Aspergers thing. I write up schedules all the time and then change them. I cancel getting together with people because I have good intentions when I make the plans or agree to them, and then I really, really don't want to go. It makes some of the NTs in my family angry if I even just ask to change a weekly time. Sometimes living in NT Land is so tiring.

 

[aj]

I mostly try not to make plans with friends because when i do most times i wont go. At the time i think yeah ok and i fined it hard to say no to people, but i get uncomfortable thinking about going out then it turns out i don't want to when the time comes. I have to push myself to go but when im there i keep thinking of going back home.

 

[King_Oni]

Well, I change plans sometimes, but it has a lot of different reasons. If I set my mind at something, I will do it and won't budge at all.

Though sometimes I have to change plans and cancel them because a variety of reasons; I know that if I'm in actual physical pain (something that happens from time to time; back issues stuff like that) I will cancel some plans until I feel better again. But I need a good reason. Just cancelling because I don't feel like it doesn't really sit well with me.

My inability or maybe just my ability to keep to a plan sometimes fails when it involves others. Sometimes I'll go out with a friend of mine for a walk in the evening. I don't care what the weather is like. Even if it's pouring, I'll go out. It just means I'll put on a coat and bring an umbrella. He on the other hand will tell me he's not interested in going out.

So perhaps the question is, why do you cancel? Not "is cancelling common?"

 

[atrocityexhibition]

I cancel a lot of social plans, sometimes because I'm just not feeling "with it" that day. I suspect this could be because of my AS.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I'm from NT land. I never change plans unless an emergency comes up. Made plans twice with my close friend (Spur-of-the-Moment Girl) and she cancelled both times - I haven't made plans with her since. It will probably be awhile before I ask her to do anything again and it won't be around any important times of the year, like Christmas.

 

[King_Oni]

I cancel a lot of social plans, sometimes because I'm just not feeling "with it" that day. I suspect this could be because of my AS.

While I have this as well... I've found that feeling it often takes too long for me and I can't keep postponing plans for weeks or months.

But then again, I limit my social circle so I don't need to plan a lot either.

 

[Ylva]

I have trouble sticking to plans because of reverse hyperbolic discounting; I expect to feel up to it later.

 

[Anon88]

I'm the exact same way. And it sucks because I've always had a hard time saying no to my family and friends. I've had experiences where they get so upset because I don't wanna show up for something so I feel like I have to please them all. Usually just leads to me trying to avoid everyone. And when I'm hanging out with them, all I can think about is how I'd rather be home playing Assassins Creed and eating snacks. For me, hanging out with ppl sometimes feels like a form of torture. That's how I've always described it.

I mostly try not to make plans with friends because when i do most times i wont go. At the time i think yeah ok and i fined it hard to say no to people, but i get uncomfortable thinking about going out then it turns out i don't want to when the time comes. I have to push myself to go but when im there i keep thinking of going back home.

 

[Judge]

Only when absolutely necessary.

 

[Mattymatt]

I've been wondering if my tendency to change my plans with people is an Aspergers thing. I write up schedules all the time and then change them. I cancel getting together with people because I have good intentions when I make the plans or agree to them, and then I really, really don't want to go. It makes some of the NTs in my family angry if I even just ask to change a weekly time. Sometimes living in NT Land is so tiring.

Yep, I do the same simply because I get sick of acting extroverted. It's draining. I'm right there with you. Do what you feel you need to so that you are comfortable.

 

[Kat]

Hi, my name is Kat and this is my very first post on AC. I am replying to this thread because although I am not an Aspie, I can totally relate. I often have a hard time keeping plans, although I generally make them with the intention of keeping them. I find for me, that this can be due to a variety of reasons, anxiety, exhaustion, loss of interest ( I know that last one sounds bad, but true.) Whenever I make plans in advance, I feel a lot of pressure leading up to the date and eventually psych myself out or begin to feel anti-social. Personally I much prefer just calling up a friend and saying " Hey, let's hang out." whenever I feel like being social, but it's often a time limited offer as eventually I lose my "sociable" mood. This probably just perpetuates the issue but over the years, I have formed a small group of friends who are similar and tend to get less offended when I cancel plans as they understand where I am coming from and sometimes even feel relieved as they were thinking of cancelling as well. Others do tend to get frustrated with me, and I do make the effort when I can but I think I am just a natural homebody. So yes, this does happen in NT land as well. Though I am not sure how "typical" I am.

 

[aj]

I'm the exact same way. And it sucks because I've always had a hard time saying no to my family and friends. I've had experiences where they get so upset because I don't wanna show up for something so I feel like I have to please them all. Usually just leads to me trying to avoid everyone. And when I'm hanging out with them, all I can think about is how I'd rather be home playing Assassins Creed and eating snacks. For me, hanging out with ppl sometimes feels like a form of torture. That's how I've always described it.

I do enjoy playing assassins creed aswell, there is a game being released which to me looks like it has the joined game play as:
Assassins creed, ryse and lord of the rings. The game is called shadow of morder. I watched the trailer and im so impatient to wait because it looks unbelievable.

 

[Anon88]

I do enjoy playing assassins creed aswell, there is a game being released which to me looks like it has the joined game play as:
Assassins creed, ryse and lord of the rings. The game is called shadow of morder. I watched the trailer and im so impatient to wait because it looks unbelievable.

It's not my type of game but I've seen the trailer for shadow of mordor and I have to say, the graphics look pretty sick.

 

[aj]

I never played lord of the rings much but i will try this new game. It seems there are more things to do and i thought the idea in the game was well created. I cannot judge it until i have played it, i like the walking dead game and cannot wait for the new seasons to be released. I think my all time favourite game is battlefield bad company and battlefield 3. War based games i enjoy and battlefield i find i can choose a position and plan my attack/defence well. Call of duty is too quick of a pace for me and i struggle to keep up.

 

[Anon88]

I never played lord of the rings much but i will try this new game. It seems there are more things to do and i thought the idea in the game was well created. I cannot judge it until i have played it, i like the walking dead game and cannot wait for the new seasons to be released. I think my all time favourite game is battlefield bad company and battlefield 3. War based games i enjoy and battlefield i find i can choose a position and plan my attack/defence well. Call of duty is too quick of a pace for me and i struggle to keep up.

Hahaha yeah I remember struggling to keep up with call of duty as well and then I gave up. While I've never really played battlefield (simply because I never made the time to get around to it) it always seemed like a good franchise. Hopefully I'll get around to it one day. I used to play a lot of splinter cell before I moved on to games like infamous and sleeping dogs (Hong Kong version of grand theft auto). Lol