If there is anyone out there with these two, it would be great to share some stuff, what ever feels comfortable. I am just trying to bring myself out of the no connection zone, and maybe it would work best with someone that might have a bit of a similar experience. Send me a private message please.
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anyone else with AvPD and Aspergers?
- Thread starter Ennabir
- Start date
Ste11aeres
Well-Known Member
What is AvPD?
Here is an asperger woman explaining AvPD and connections to aspergers, she has it herself 
: Personality Disorders: Avoidant - YouTube
: Personality Disorders: Avoidant - YouTube
Ste11aeres
Well-Known Member
It does sound like me, though I don't know very much about it.
I wasn't always like this, I developed it as a result of isolation and things always going badly for me in connection with other people.
Clarification: It sounds like how I am in regards to relationships with other people.
However, I have good self-esteem, and am usually pretty happy. Sometimes I think that this degree of isolation can't be good, and yet I am still overall a happy person.
I used to have bad self-esteem, even though I was at the time more sociable. My one friend is the reason I now like myself: he saw something in me, and eventually I realized he was right.
I wasn't always like this, I developed it as a result of isolation and things always going badly for me in connection with other people.
Clarification: It sounds like how I am in regards to relationships with other people.
However, I have good self-esteem, and am usually pretty happy. Sometimes I think that this degree of isolation can't be good, and yet I am still overall a happy person.
I used to have bad self-esteem, even though I was at the time more sociable. My one friend is the reason I now like myself: he saw something in me, and eventually I realized he was right.
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My way of dealing with criticism fits with AvPD, and I have always had a little bit of that kind of surviving method, like running away, cutting contact or similar... but it got worse when I was about 35 or a bit older - so much so that it can be seen as a personality disorder now. Aspie traits I've had since childhood, so I am pretty sure it is this combination I am dealing with.
Basically, the worst is if someone I have known for a while, out of bad temper or having a bad day decides to rant all my shortcomings to me at once. I'll dealing with that for months, not cool, for sure not. I have lately gotten some more ways to deal with this, but I mostly wonder if others in the same situation have learned not to take criticism so heavily and what they have done to reach that. I also at these situations obsess with what I have said or what others have said... So I am happy I've been able to keep this short at least.
Basically, the worst is if someone I have known for a while, out of bad temper or having a bad day decides to rant all my shortcomings to me at once. I'll dealing with that for months, not cool, for sure not. I have lately gotten some more ways to deal with this, but I mostly wonder if others in the same situation have learned not to take criticism so heavily and what they have done to reach that. I also at these situations obsess with what I have said or what others have said... So I am happy I've been able to keep this short at least.
Ste11aeres
Well-Known Member
I've had pretty much every symptom listed on that Wilkepedia page, but not at the same time. During different parts of my adult life (I'm actually not that old) different symptoms off that list have existed.
I have both conditions as well, and am happiest when I don't have to be around people. This includes my family, and it has really caused problems with my friends. I am so nervous when I have to have a conversation, even by phone, that I avoid everyone. I am most comfortable dealing with people online, where I can proof read what I wrote, and make sure I'm not going to upset anyone or sound stupid. I've been like this for as long as I can remember. People in my life try to understand, but unless you have these conditions, it's hard to understand how crippling it is.
**** it! I am throwing myself out from here all the time is it possible for me to change settings so that I won't be throwing myself out so fast?
Yes, I agree it can be very crippling. I had a mild panic attack yesterday after I had dared to post two different posts here at the forum. It's just that I am not expecting to have a nice conversation, which has happened, but instead by default I expect that I have done something wrong (because I do not know how to behave or have not internalized the rules yet) or that I get ridiculed because I have not understood something right.
Do you experience that when you feel more depressed it gets even more difficult with people? I have a tendency to get a bit more depressed during winter when it is more dark, and then it gets much more difficult with people also... but that is not the only reason.
I am happy also when I do not have to be doing with people I do not yet know (it does not mean that I feel I know people after a month or 6 months, can take much longer), to me internet is a little bit safer, but I still get nervous. Home is safe, my partner is safe, because I know he accepts me even if I do not understand something. I also have some family members who I feel safe with. So, the problem is not that I cannot be happy, the problem is the need to be in contact and then risking my own safeness in the process, which has mostly led to feelings of anxiety and depression for months.
It is a bit difficult to me even now to write, even if I am much calmer, because these posts are visible to everyone ( I think ) and because I am not really clear yet where to post what exactly.
I am not sure, but I think I have a good feeling about myself when I get positive feedback from other people, only... it can change the next moment so that I do not get any reassurance from what I have understood as positive about myself earlier. I have come to the conclusion that how I see myself should not be depending on other peoples views, so I have started to use some tools I have found to realize more about myself and have gotten some results, even if small that gives me trustful feeling. I have some issues of being very stubborn also, which adds to the aggression I experience from others I also try to remember that when someone else is acting up, they cannot be feeling so good about themselves either, NT or not, not that I remember it always haha.
is it possible for me to change settings so that I won't be throwing myself out so fast? Yes, I agree it can be very crippling. I had a mild panic attack yesterday after I had dared to post two different posts here at the forum. It's just that I am not expecting to have a nice conversation, which has happened, but instead by default I expect that I have done something wrong (because I do not know how to behave or have not internalized the rules yet) or that I get ridiculed because I have not understood something right.
Do you experience that when you feel more depressed it gets even more difficult with people? I have a tendency to get a bit more depressed during winter when it is more dark, and then it gets much more difficult with people also... but that is not the only reason.
I am happy also when I do not have to be doing with people I do not yet know (it does not mean that I feel I know people after a month or 6 months, can take much longer), to me internet is a little bit safer, but I still get nervous. Home is safe, my partner is safe, because I know he accepts me even if I do not understand something. I also have some family members who I feel safe with. So, the problem is not that I cannot be happy, the problem is the need to be in contact and then risking my own safeness in the process, which has mostly led to feelings of anxiety and depression for months.
It is a bit difficult to me even now to write, even if I am much calmer, because these posts are visible to everyone ( I think ) and because I am not really clear yet where to post what exactly.
I am not sure, but I think I have a good feeling about myself when I get positive feedback from other people, only... it can change the next moment so that I do not get any reassurance from what I have understood as positive about myself earlier. I have come to the conclusion that how I see myself should not be depending on other peoples views, so I have started to use some tools I have found to realize more about myself and have gotten some results, even if small that gives me trustful feeling. I have some issues of being very stubborn also, which adds to the aggression I experience from others
I also try to remember that when someone else is acting up, they cannot be feeling so good about themselves either, NT or not, not that I remember it always haha.
AutisticallyInclined
Active Member
I don't have AvPD and it's unclear whether or not I have Aspergers but my Dad who does have HFA also seems to have Paranoid personality disorder so I do think that it's very possible to have a personality disorder and be on the Autism spectrum.
AutisticallyInclined
Active Member
I don't have AvPD and it's unclear whether or not I have Aspergers but my Dad who does have HFA also seems to have Paranoid personality disorder so I do think that it's very possible to have a personality disorder and be on the Autism spectrum.
way to not read all the other posts in the thread before posting, you. I shall be keeping a weather eye out for other such impatient, numb-skullary behavior.
You don't know what you're missing.
-AI
I was obsessing about the last stuff I wrote, and wanted to point out that I do not mean to be rude, I just laugh sometimes in wrong places when I am nervous.
I think I shall look up paranoid personality disorder AI, my granny, who died already at the -80's was diagnosed as paranoid, all I know was that she heard voices from no where and saw people that were not visible to others - so, basically my dad has lived with that as a kid.
I think I shall look up paranoid personality disorder AI, my granny, who died already at the -80's was diagnosed as paranoid, all I know was that she heard voices from no where and saw people that were not visible to others - so, basically my dad has lived with that as a kid.
AutisticallyInclined
Active Member
Oh no! I hope I didn't confuse you at all, Ennabir. Those weird posts I made were @ myself, chiding me for not having read all posts that came before them! I really have no idea if you have paranoid personality disorder but that is very different from aviodant personality disorder.
Also, hearing voices is more of a psychotic symptom where as paranoid personality disorder is more of having a neurotic form of personality.
Hope that clears things up. I can relate to feeling anxious when revealing personal information. I wish you the best with whatever your true diagnosis is. All I can say is, while I'm rather educated about psychology, only a true professional can provide the diagnosis you seek.
Best,
AI
Also, hearing voices is more of a psychotic symptom where as paranoid personality disorder is more of having a neurotic form of personality.
Hope that clears things up. I can relate to feeling anxious when revealing personal information. I wish you the best with whatever your true diagnosis is. All I can say is, while I'm rather educated about psychology, only a true professional can provide the diagnosis you seek.
Best,
AI
No no AI, I was not taking it that way. I am just very interested about these things, just like the woman in the video in the 3rd post. AvPD seems to fit to me as well as aspergers, I am not at the moment going to start looking for other reasons for my problems, when I eventually start the process of getting diagnosed, I trust that professionals will get to the bottom of it.
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