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Anyone else feel like they're in a vicious cycle socially?

My family complains because I isolate myself and I don't socialize enough so I go out try to make friends and then I get ostracized by family and otherwise for being odd. Then I isolate myself again because being treated like human garbage can get old pretty fast.Next thing you know everyone is once again complaining about how I'm not open enough and the cycle continues.I just wish there was someone on my side for once. I don't want to hate people. I want to have friends and fall in love and have someone fall in love with me. I even want children and a wife someday. Someone , a friend to accept me and understand that I'm not a bad, sinister freak or weirdo. That I'm more than just ...this.

A vicious social cycle summed up perfectly how I've been feeling. I want a friend again but the countless disappointment has led me to believe I'm better off alone. Sorry I don't know the answer, just letting you know you're not alone :)
 
I know the feeling. I am female, so tend to make more of an effort to fit in, but I do have a history of social faux pas, usually due to trying too hard, or repeating behaviour that has worked well in the past or worked for other people in different settings. Your best bet would be to ask someone you trust what you're doing wrong, and try to rectify that. Do one thing at a time, and don't let that person bombard you with a long list of things - if they don't know about your condition, then tell them (if you're self-diagnosed and feel uncomfortable announcing a condition that you haven't officially got, you can say you believe, or think, you're autistic). You can explain some behaviours as struggles, for example, you struggle with crowds, cannot hear conversation if there's a lot of background noise, have trouble remembering what has just been said, etc.

If large groups, or a lot of noise, for example, are too much for you, find small group, or just hang out with one friend for now, but do avoid becoming clingy, or you'll alienate them; go somewhere quiet, even if it's only a café, for a short period of time. Or go for a walk together. Then make it a threesome. Try to avoid monopolising the conversation, repeating yourself or dragging it back to your favourite topic. If you do make a mistake, don't beat yourself up about it and try not to get obsessive about it (easier said than done, I know); but be aware of it next time and try not to do it again.

It won't be easy, there are no quick fixes I'm afraid. Just plod on and work at things at your own pace. When you do get something right that you would have got wrong before, don't go on about it to your friend(s) or you'll sound childish, but do pat yourself on the back.
 
My family complains because I isolate myself and I don't socialize enough so I go out try to make friends and then I get ostracized by family and otherwise for being odd. Then I isolate myself again because being treated like human garbage can get old pretty fast.Next thing you know everyone is once again complaining about how I'm not open enough and the cycle continues.I just wish there was someone on my side for once. I don't want to hate people. I want to have friends and fall in love and have someone fall in love with me. I even want children and a wife someday. Someone , a friend to accept me and understand that I'm not a bad, sinister freak or weirdo. That I'm more than just ...this.
Yup! The ASD conundrum!
Damned if do and damned if you don't!
If you ever figure out a solution I'm all ears!
 

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