Anyone else anxious around more severe Autistics/Aspies?

[Skids]

A few years ago i decided to attend an evening social group for adults with autism as i had not long been diagnosed in my late 30's and was becoming increasingly disillusioned with society in general.

I thought that by meeting others with autism i could relate better to them and everything would be all good.

What i didn't account for is the fact that the autism spectrum is just that. A spectrum.

On that spectrum there are people with autism like myself who have challenges with it but who are at the higher end of it and able to 'fit in' to mainstream society without anybody really noticing the difficulties going on inside.

There are also people with autism who aren't the same as me and i think that is what i was expecting when i attended. Misguidedly obviously.

I was expecting the other autistic people who i met to be as able to cope with their autistic traits as well i as could but they couldn't. Clearly many of them were struggling with things i take for granted such as communication and it soon became apparent that i was struggling myself to relate to these people.

I think even people with autism also require some common ground with other autistic people so it's not just NT adults that seek out other likeminded NT adults. The differences between myself and some of the others in the group was just too profound to be bridged.

Please don't take this the wrong way as i am in no way bragging of being able to manage my autism better than others or that i am in some way better than others for not having autism as severe as them. I am just attempting to get across my point that i too struggled with the whole situation due to the differences between myself and others presenting with more challenging behaviours and traits.

I think in many ways, although reading NT's is always difficult i've had years of experience of it and gotten very adept at it whilst i haven't had much (if any) experience of socializing with other autistic people. Therefore it's in many ways more stressful and unpredictable.

What i would say to finish however is that all people with autism wherever they happen to be on the spectrum face so many challenges. Many of which are overcome or managed through sheer resilience, perseverance and courage and it's this that we ALL share as people with autism. I have the utmost respect for everybody who has autism and has to deal with their traits / difficulties of it every single day.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

No. I do not get anxious around those on the severe end of the spectrum. I am completely fine with them.

I'm actually fine with any stranger, whether Autistic or Allistic as long as their mind their own business and don't bother me and, most importantly, respect me and my space.

If somebody acts like a jerk to me and does not give me respect, I won't give them any respect. Simple as that.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

The only things that make me nervous when people start to talk to me or stand too close to me or touch me without my consent. I'm that kind of person who avoids eye contact and keeps a distance. I like my little bubble and definitely don't like it when people try to get inside. I'm not really angry at the person if I know they're not aware of what they're doing is not okay for me, but it still makes me nervous.

The singing, flapping, moving around, fidgeting, making noise thing is okay for me, I do that too. I know some people find it uncomfortable (mostly because it's against social norms, I usually don't do it lound enough to be disturbing), but sometimes I just need to. If the noise bothers me, I just cover my ears and curl up and shut everybody else out, which, thinking of it, might also look weird on the outside, but hey, it keeps the noise out.

Same here. I don't flap my hands/arms, but I otherwise fidget and can never sit still for longer than, like, 2 seconds. I also find humming very helpful, especially since it is quite and doesn't disturb anybody, but still keeps me calm.

 

[GrownupGirl]

Last week I went to the local thrift store, and there was an unusual amount of kids there. They and there parents were basically treating the place day care. There were toys all over the floor and I couldn't get my cart through it while the kids sat there playing. And then this other kid, whom I think may have had some kind of disability, picks up a toy light saber and swings it at me. I gave him a face that I know was very much like this:. But kids are unpredictable and make me uncomfortable even when they're being quiet. All people who behave very strangely in public do, and I feel like the world's biggest hypocrite and a jerk.

 

[Vindicator Phoenix]

I do get anxious around people who make a lot of noise, and hate drawing attention to myself.