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Anybody ever get extreme anger?

F

ftfipps

Well-Known Member
I went through an experience today where a minimum wage earning, probably childless,husbandless and joyless woman in her late 30s began shaming me in a public setting. Well, she called me belittling names to many people who had probably no idea why someone would say that in the first place. I actually got pissed...I fantasized about throwing hot coffee in her face. I am not and have never been violent with anyone. Pick on somebody with autism, eh? I thought. I actually seriously contemplated committing life changing acts of violence which ISNT ME...EVER...PERIOD. I was raised very well with boundaries and morals.

I am a kind person and I associate with gentle and kind beings.

This anger began back around November. Once I became aware of how people thought they were playin me for a sap I just started carrying around explosive rage. What should I do? I'm fine now but that was a particularly bad episode.

Why? WHY WOULD SOMEONE BE MEAN TO SOMEONE WITH A MENTAL DISORDER? People don't even believe me when I tell them about this abuse. I've never been mean to anyone like that, ever.
 
I could say a lot. I could say a lot of cynical/realistic things on this topic. But just...don't let the anger turn to hate and bitterness. It's a waste of a life.
 
Could it be they didn't know you have autism? A lot of people don't know about HFA or how to pick those people out from a crowd.
 
Somebody told me once: "Just because you have autism, that doesn't mean I'm going to treat you any different than anyone else. If I give you special treatment, then I'd have to give everyone else the same."

Apparently mental disorders are no excuse for acting differently in this world.
 
I get mad easily but it tends to be over very quickly. Thought despite that im still mad at my science teacher from 6th grade, don't know why that is.
 
I have been explosively angry before.
blowup_orig.gif

More often than not, I am extremely disappointed with the outcome. I have often over-reacted or misunderstood the problem altogether.

Other times, I discovered (only too late) that I was being manipulated by someone else. In short, I do not trust my own anger-inducing perceptions at first blush.

(Usually) when I feel myself escalating, I will take a step back to examine all of the factors in that situation. If it is a misunderstanding, correcting that will help me to quickly de-escalate.

If my anger is justified, my first impulses will have passed, allowing me to formulate a more thoughtful response (which always proves to be better than an impulsive one).
 
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ftfipps said:
I went through an experience today where a minimum wage earning, probably childless,husbandless and joyless woman in her late 30s began shaming me in a public setting. Well, she called me belittling names to many people who had probably no idea why someone would say that in the first place. I actually got pissed...I fantasized about throwing hot coffee in her face. I am not and have never been violent with anyone. Pick on somebody with autism, eh? I thought. I actually seriously contemplated committing life changing acts of violence which ISNT ME...EVER...PERIOD. I was raised very well with boundaries and morals.

I am a kind person and I associate with gentle and kind beings.

This anger began back around November. Once I became aware of how people thought they were playin me for a sap I just started carrying around explosive rage. What should I do? I'm fine now but that was a particularly bad episode.

Why? WHY WOULD SOMEONE BE MEAN TO SOMEONE WITH A MENTAL DISORDER? People don't even believe me when I tell them about this abuse. I've never been mean to anyone like that, ever.
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How did you know she earned minimum wage?
 
I have lived all my life with extreme anger issues and the first time it manifested itself, was when I was probably around 5 and something that father had said to me ( I cannot remember what; but the essense is that he was grossly wrong), that a rage came up and I actually thumped a door and it caused a dent in it and somewhere deep down, I thought: no matter how angry I get, I will NEVER go that far again and have not, but oh boy, the imagination is different and many a time, I have seen, in my mind's eye, the person on the floor, with blood all over them, from me punching or knifing then, but guess what? That is because we are DECENT and KIND and LOVE goodness and why, it hurts deep when others behave in such awful ways.

I guess I am a bitter and angry woman but I am so happy, because I have my faith, that helps balance things out.

Oh and as a side note: being a low wage earner is to be admired; not ridiculed. My husband is a gardener and a fantastic one too, but due to what society values, he is a minimum wage earner. Oh and we are childless, so in this regard, you really ought to be careful in boxing people up, because that, in itself is warrant of anger from someone else.
 
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Suzanne said:
Oh and as a side note: being a low wage earner is to be admired; not ridiculed. My husband is a gardener and a fantastic one too, but due to what society values, he is a minimum wage earner. Oh and we are childless, so in this regard, you really ought to be careful in boxing people up, because that, in itself is warrant of anger from someone else.
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agreed on that
 
I get really angry sometimes but I can't express it so I turn it inside and get sad instead. Being mad is exhausting. One morning my mom smacked me on the head and I was so mad I wanted to kill everybody
 
I have the most intense anger sometimes but it's never in a proportionate response to the cause, I have responded very calmly to things "normal" people would fly into a blind rage over, but say my phone freezes and stops working and it ends up getting thrown at a wall, followed by several expletives.
 
Yes, sadly I can fly of the handle and rage. I hate this part of me, I hate how it effects those who have to witness it. The thing is, it could be something seemingly small, innocent to others that sets me off, put me in that fight or flight response. But to me I understand why, but I bottle things, my thoughts and emotions, I bottle things. Sometimes for months, I am painfully shy, but have learnt the hard way that I can no longer bottle things up, I have to be brave and speak up about my thoughts, emotions, frustration. I have to be brave, and honest and speak up, stop bottling things up inside.
 
Oh boy ...

My early adulthood was controlled by extreme anger. People were afraid of me, including those I least wanted to be afraid. Explosive rages were a regular occurrence. It took years of anger management therapy to get to the point where I could control my anger instead of it controlling me. The fight or flight response most often ended in fight rather than flight. Now, yes, there are times I walk away to separate myself from a situation because I recognize the mental and physical symptoms of the beginning of what I used to call 'rage storms.'
 
Anger lives within an individual and that anger seeks a moment to show itself. It shows itself because the anger is within that individual and the individual has no influence/monitoring/self-discipline.

The best you can do is to recognize and be able to respond or not respond without reacting, through your own monitoring and self-discipline. With that, you are a much better person than the individual harboring the anger.
 
Yeah I can lose my temper especially if I get very frustrated,I am not proud of it though I try to avoid triggers but it is also to a lot of building up so I try not to let them bottle up too much which is not healthy.
 
I used to get angry a lot, now I've realized how draining and unproductive it is. Not saying I don't get frustrated or even angry at times, I just refuse to hold onto the anger like I once did.

Just so you know autism is not classified as a mental disorder, but a neurological disorder. There's quite a difference, however people with autism do often suffer co-morbid mental disorders as well. For example my HFA is neurological, but my depression and ADD are more of mental disorders.

That being said, sorry you had such a bad experience. People tend to suck.
 
ftfipps said:
I went through an experience today where a minimum wage earning, probably childless,husbandless and joyless woman in her late 30s began shaming me in a public setting. Well, she called me belittling names to many people who had probably no idea why someone would say that in the first place. I actually got pissed...I fantasized about throwing hot coffee in her face. I am not and have never been violent with anyone. Pick on somebody with autism, eh? I thought. I actually seriously contemplated committing life changing acts of violence which ISNT ME...EVER...PERIOD. I was raised very well with boundaries and morals.

I am a kind person and I associate with gentle and kind beings.

This anger began back around November. Once I became aware of how people thought they were playin me for a sap I just started carrying around explosive rage. What should I do? I'm fine now but that was a particularly bad episode.

Why? WHY WOULD SOMEONE BE MEAN TO SOMEONE WITH A MENTAL DISORDER? People don't even believe me when I tell them about this abuse. I've never been mean to anyone like that, ever.
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I'm sorry, but I just have to say this, because I was pretty angry myself when I read your comment: it bothers me that you began with an ad hominem that had zero relevance. So what if she was childless and earning a minimum wage?
"Pick on someone with autism, eh?" sounded somewhat arrogant considering that you didn't even tell us what it was about you that bothered her or if it had anything to do with your autism at all. Not to mention that anyone can claim anything about themselves on the internet.
Of course, I don't agree with that woman's attitude if she called you names. However, I only have your side of the story and I find it unconvincing.
 
I get very angry very easily.

The only time I didn't, was that time at work when the old guy called me a "Deaf C word", I said "I heard and will remember that" at the time, and then a month later I went in work, not in the best of moods anyway as I was ill, he said to me "What tha doin' ere?" and I proceeded to let him have it, over 2 years of rage of being picked on by this bloke finally came to a head, and consequently the manager told me not come up the following Tuesday or ever again.

By rights I should've reported the guy and got HIM fired, for calling me THAT word, but Dad said not to say anything.
 
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