Answering to How Are You?

[OkRad]

Personally I know it might be rude but I just say "Fine" or just smile, but I never answer back with a question like "how are you?" No way,... I simply am never out to start a conversation... I wish I wasn't like this and maybe in a different setting I might have a better outlook.

There are no telling how many wonderful people I never go to know because of my not wanting to talk to people... Its sad really, but its who I am until I can find away to make it better, or not... : )

You are so kind, Chance, but if it helps, most people dont want to befriend odd people after high school. It may be a badge to some. Ok i know a few who like everyone but they r rare. People ARE however terribly curious. You are dear and may want to know them but they are curious and want to know more about u but not u. Protect your specialness.

Sorry 4 textspeak and lack of grammar which is totally unacceptable on an autism forum, i know, but i am using an ipod. Puter is whacked

 

[kay]

I try very hard to say, "fine, thank you, how are you? "but quite often I end up saying, "not sure yet" or "my allergies are really bothering me" or "tired". If I end up crying in public I generally leave so fast no one has a chance to ask what's wrong so I don't know what I would/should say. I think "just tired" would be a good response but if they are total strangers "my dog just died" might work.

 

[fairy_girl]

It was the very first script that I learned because I had no clue why random strangers would want to be so invasive and nosy about wanting to know anything about me. I just smile no matter how I feel and say that I'm fine and then I walk on or if I remember I try to add onto to "how are you?" and most seem surprised but happy to be asked.

If you ask it in a retail setting you are more often to get better service if you actually seem interested about them too. Most people just use it as a phrase to make sure that everyone is on par with everyone or it is just automatic thing that they say like "How about this weather? (translation: "do you like the weather?" and "do you like it being hot/cold/humid?")".

 

[Alaska]

i have trouble w this. I used to think people really wanted to know but learned they do not. If you really respond they walk away fast......so I usually say Great! No matter what. But i have public displays of emotion tho i try to hide it. So "i am just tired" is standby for uncontrollable cryng in yogurt isle. What do you guys do?

I am with Sportster. I figured out a few scripts to use to deal with ubiquitous greetings. I occasionally update them since even common greetings change.

If someone close to me greets me I may give them an honest answer and refuse to accept an unenthusiastic reply at face value. That usually means they want to be asked what the problem is.

 

[cmarie]

I never know how to respond to that question! I always say "I'm great! How are you?" and they usually walk away before I could finish saying that and if they do respond they are usually confused or shocked by my response.. I just dont understand why people ask but dont actually expect or want a reply. It confuses the hell out of me!

 

[hutchie]

It also depends on how I am, if I'm feeling sarcastic, or not functioning fully I just want interaction over with, if I'm sarcastic I usually pay for it.

 

[OlLiE]

i generally just say i'm fine, quick and easy, it's more efficient than trying to be accurate

nobody actually wants to hear how you are, they are just being polite

 

[Pariah Dog]

I have read about this from another source of different perspective. The "How are you" is just a symptom of American fake society and other similar cultures. In Eastern Europe this kind of question on greeting doesn't happen apparently as it is considered insincere.

Sometimes I might respond with "Good, how are you?" I don't wish them any ill will but I would be lying to myself if I said I was really concerned.

If asked by a fellow tradesman I will often says "Just living the dream." The sarcasm is always appreciated.

 

[Oda a la Tormenta]

I usually pause, to think if I want to answer truthfully as these days it's complicated...and then I just usually say I'm ok...how are you? Depending on who it is. There are a select few who may want to know how I am faring but I can't be sure of why, for complicated reasons and I am not about to try to decipher that.

If they genuinely care, they will show it almost immediately. At least this has been my experience. And however elusive they do exist. This does make it uncomfortable though. I don't like people prying, in any way. Even this simple manner. I prefer people to keep to themselves. To each his own though.

Otherwise, I just move on quickly and change the subject, or leave the conversation all together if at all possible.

 

[Nitro]

My reply to that question is usually, "Do you want the truth,or what you want to hear?" and that generally opens up a dialog that I can insert humor into.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I have read about this from another source of different perspective. The "How are you" is just a symptom of American fake society and other similar cultures. In Eastern Europe this kind of question on greeting doesn't happen apparently as it is considered insincere.

Sometimes I might respond with "Good, how are you?" I don't wish them any ill will but I would be lying to myself if I said I was really concerned.

If asked by a fellow tradesman I will often says "Just living the dream." The sarcasm is always appreciated.

In Russia if you smile as you pass people on the street they think you're a simpleton.

Part of Europe is still a little bit.. we haven't been formally introduced so the thought is 'who are you?' As it's sort of rude to speak to people randomly

 

[Sabrina]

Today I said "some days are not as good as others". The person half smiled, acknowledging the feeling. I felt welcomed.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

One really obscure variation is :

Hows your belly for spots?

Although,to be fair, I've only seen one person use it and he was normal.

 

[Gracey]

One really obscure variation is :

Hows your belly for spots?

Although,to be fair, I've only seen one person use it and he was normal.

I've heard some more inappropriate variations of the above in the past.

 

[NinaB]

In my case was kind of the opposite. I only started to reply to "How are you's" on high school when a classmate said to me that it was polite to say "i'm good, how are you?" when someone asked me how i was. In this case she had asked and i had not replyed of course... I thought that people didn't really care so it was not necessary to respond to it if you didn't want to.