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Answering to How Are You?

OkRad

μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην
V.I.P Member
i have trouble w this. I used to think people really wanted to know but learned they do not. If you really respond they walk away fast......so I usually say Great! No matter what. But i have public displays of emotion tho i try to hide it. So "i am just tired" is standby for uncontrollable cryng in yogurt isle. What do you guys do?
 
i have trouble w this. I used to think people really wanted to know but learned they do not. If you really respond they walk away fast......so I usually say Great! No matter what. But i have public displays of emotion tho i try to hide it. So "i am just tired" is standby for uncontrollable cryng in yogurt isle. What do you guys do?

Always, always, always say "yeh, good, thanks" even if I'm having a seriously awful day. Those three words stop any further questions dead in their tracks.
If my pallor and posture and expression are contradictory to how I've answered and I hear "you don't look okay"
I go with what you've mentioned above, " I'm just tired" and smile...

...because saying "will you eff off and stop distracting me" is beyond rude.
 
Well its still there as gracey replied to it.

On reflection this space was taken up with something a bit too weird :)
 
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I feel uncomfortable being asked this all the time by NTs knowing they don't really care and it's just some social formality they think they need to say.
I usually don't even reply. I do a little OK shake with my head, similar to the oriental bowing greet. If I am in a good mood I might say OK.
I usually get a strange look in response, but that puts a stop to further interaction right there.
Only once did someone reply to my action with a " That good, huh?" :p
 
It took me a while to get this, but you are supposed to not answer and just say "how are you" back as a greeting. I tend to say "Fine, thanks, how are you", just to allow for the possibility that it was a serious question, and that seems to meet their exacting standards. That's how it is in North America, anyway.
 
I used to respond as expected, smile and say "I'm fine, how are you?". However, I eventually realised that this question is a precursor to social interaction and the NT that initiates the dialogue will then try to engage me in trivial conversation.

Now I just answer "surviving" and turn away.
 
Are you just being polite or do you really want to know? Is what I say and most times, I get: I really want to know and a few times: ah ok, not really.

It has taken me time to achieve this goal and only came about, when I recognised that they do not really mean how are you? It is just an NT courtesy. I say: NT, because when I ask how someone is, I MEAN it.
 
Personally I know it might be rude but I just say "Fine" or just smile, but I never answer back with a question like "how are you?" No way,... I simply am never out to start a conversation... I wish I wasn't like this and maybe in a different setting I might have a better outlook.

There are no telling how many wonderful people I never go to know because of my not wanting to talk to people... Its sad really, but its who I am until I can find away to make it better, or not... : )
 
If they walk away it's their issue, not yours. As for what to answer.. I try to be honest. I might just say "I am" if I don't want to get into it.
 
Personally I know it might be rude but I just say "Fine" or just smile, but I never answer back with a question like "how are you?" No way,... I simply am never out to start a conversation... I wish I wasn't like this and maybe in a different setting I might have a better outlook.

There are no telling how many wonderful people I never go to know because of my not wanting to talk to people... Its sad really, but its who I am until I can find away to make it better, or not... : )

You dont want ot be talking tomthose normal people.

They'd bore your face off.
 
I used to respond as expected, smile and say "I'm fine, how are you?". However, I eventually realised that this question is a precursor to social interaction and the NT that initiates the dialogue will then try to engage me in trivial conversation.

Now I just answer "surviving" and turn away.

THAT is exactly it!!! If they left it there.... But in an effort not to be rude, many take that to mean , Hey my life is wide open to your inspections!!! I tegret being rude, yes, but i also deeply regret getting sucked in and giving up info to people who could care less. It is a no win situation.

If i were not odd it would be ok. But they use that opening to pry. What are you reading? Why do u wear that hat? Why do u read do much? Why Do u walk so much. I wear a hat and a lady threw her arms around me and told me all about her friend w cancer. She yammered on so i never got a chance to tell her i dont have cancer!!!
 

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