Another formal diagnosis thread

[hiraeth]

Edit: can this be moved to the general private forum? See, I really am too tired to think

This will be brief, I think. I still haven't recovered from my chronic exhaustion spell. Sometimes I feel like it's getting worse. I was sitting here today trying to do work and didn't even have energy to sit up. But anyway, I guess that's besides the point. (Or maybe it isn't.)

A few months ago, I asked my GP to refer me to someone who can diagnose AS. She did, and said that the guy is pretty knowledgable and I would like him. Finally my time came, and I showed up at his office this morning.

The meeting was only an hour long. I had read stuff from other people saying they were there for a whole day, they did all sorts of tests some of which didn't seem related at all. Not this guy though. He asked me why I thought I had AS, spent most of the time going over the rest of my health records, including depression and the fact that I was feeling really exhausted. Several of the questions he asked like "do you have any unusual movements", went over my head at the time, perhaps because I was exhausted (yes, it probably is because I was exhausted). Only long after I left did it occur to me that he probably meant stimming behaviour (which I don't personally see as "unusual").

Oh, but he also did call my special interests "unusual". That was the only part I really remember clearly, owing to the strange phenomenon whereby the only time I'm not exhausted is when my special interests are being discussed. Ha, I remember feeling a little embarrassed (I still do when I think about it ), like please don't think of my interest as a symptom, it's like a huge emotional attachment of mine

His final conclusion was "I'm not sure if you have AS, you have some of the typical signs but not many of the others. But to give an answer to the question, I would say yes."

It was rather anti-climactic.

If I had read over the diagnostic criteria and prepared some answers beforehand (which I know some of you have done), rather than walk in half dazed and hoping to be surprised with new knowledge that only a professional would have (this did not happen), it would have gone much better, I think. I asked him what I can do to adapt to society better or something of that sort, he said go read some books written by other people with AS. Well, okay, that's nothing new. I also asked him about my flat affect issues and he said it was more likely a depression thing than an AS thing, which just made me more confused, but then I was too tired to elaborate on the confusion so I went on my way.

I expected something else, or more, I suppose. Was it useful? I'm not sure. I'll go over his report with my GP when it arrives, but I don't expect to learn anything interesting from it, just an embarrassing account of how tired I was that day.

 

[Bruce Stern]

Good Lord friend, I don't know what to say, I have spent decades as a trained professional and had huge blind spots to this disorder. I blew off my own diagnosis for years because I trusted even in curb-side consults with friends other than an in-depth analysis from a professional in this field.

Today I had my moment with a very well versed person in this field. I drove 6 hours each way to meet with this person. It was so worth it. He with the crinkly-smiley eyes gave me the first hope I've had in decades. Yes, he said with a laugh, you are part of this community, welcome home.

The saddest part of our interview was how many decades I've spent struggling on my own , blaming myself for being a 'bad person' when the truth is I'm just differently wired.

I don't know if you're Asperger's or not. If you're not I hope someone gets the diagnosis that 'fits'. *(To me) I was hoping for a much easier 'fix' than this. But if you are, I hope you don't have to go through the decades of missed diagnosis that I did. I wish you peace and happiness whatever the result.

 

[hiraeth]

I drove 6 hours each way to meet with this person. It was so worth it. He with the crinkly-smiley eyes gave me the first hope I've had in decades. Yes, he said with a laugh, you are part of this community, welcome home.

Aww, that's sweet.

Whether or not I find a professional who really "gets me" is irrelevant at this point, I think. I know what I struggle with, and I'm not sure if anyone out there can actually give me new information that I don't already know or can't find on my own. So if this counts as a formal diagnosis that can help me access accommodations when I go back to school in the future, it's good enough.

 

[Progster]

Your interview sounds similar to mine - and I received my diagnosis straight away, he was certain that I had AS and did not ask me back for further testing. Anyway, congratulations of the diagnosis. Very few aspies have all of the symptoms, and you don't need to have all of them to fit the diagnostic criteria.

 

[Bruce Stern]

"If I had read over the diagnostic criteria and prepared some answers beforehand (which I know some of you have done), rather than walk in half dazed and hoping to be surprised with new knowledge that only a professional would have (this did not happen), it would have gone much better, I think."

It was reading the textbook that prompted me to make the appointment. I think there's some validity in this. I didn't recognize a lot of what was going on until I read an in-depth discussion of the diagnostic criteria. I had done myself a disserve in the past because I always focused on what was currently happening rather than a lifetime of repeated patterns. It's hard to discuss things if you don't see them as issues and the therapist isn't checking.

I think it helps to go to someone well-versed in this disorder because if you don't, they should elicit it from you.

OTOH, I plan to do a lot of personal work based on this diagnosis and try a medication when I've had bad experiences with them. I wouldn't be investing this time and would've kept looking had I not fit the majority of the textbook discussion and DSM description.

Thank you Progster. I appreciate that. I have been kind of torn up over it. It's helpful to have a diagnosis. It lays into focus some of the things I need to do. I'm moving to the city where this therapist and coach are at so have no excuse to work on this.