Annoyed with talking about special interest with NT's

[The Midge]

I would LOVE if you started to talk to me about the Vagus nerve. It is so interesting. I would listen and want to know more.

The shame is that Aspies and Auts are so used to having to can it, that even when we are near each other, we miss out on some DANG GOOD conversation because we are afraid we are approaching NTs again.

Also, we are afraid, persiod. If i made a friend, I would then have to wonder how to shift my rigid routine and eat in front of them or go to a movie when I hate noise or what if I offend them, having to leave RIGHT at a crertain time, etc etc etc etc.

But would still love to hear about the vaso vagal!!!

This.

 

[megacomic]

Do any of you get annoyed or tired of talking about your special interest with NTs? I do. My special interest is running and over time it has become well known in the office I work at that I am pretty successful in this interest of mine. So now many people will bring it up and talk to me about it. While I do enjoy the recognition and the fact that people are trying to talk with me, it is difficult to talk to NT's about b/c my expectations, knowledge, ability, and goals are vastly different than others who also have a interest in the sport. And I dislike being congratulated when I actually had a terrible race. Also, I do think when people ask me about it, it annoys some others because they are tired of hearing about it. To a certain extent, I don't fault them for that. I only really enjoy talking about the interest with others if they also take it fairly seriously.

I know a lot about about various cartoons and animated shows through out history so most adults aren't really interested in what I have to say. Luckily I work with kids and I'm able to talk to them in great detail about all their favorite games and shows. Which makes my job a lot easier.

 

[Bella Pines]

It's annoying because it makes it uninteresting. I don't want to discuss which character is hotter or which Hogwarts House everyone in the vicinity would be in. I want to discuss the theory that Luna is her generation's Snape or whether and in what way Hermione's intelligence resembles real intelligence.

Yes, this. I would say that Luna could be far darker than Snape, Snape fell in love and held a spark of hope but Luna was bullied with nothing to hold on to other than an influential father, however that being said, it didn't seem to damage her as much as Snape. Another interesting part of the potter universe is the subjects. Potions, mystical creatures. Acceptable school subject nowadays seem of little relevance, why not study parenting? Or office politics? Or Gardening and household bills? Or public transport? How exactly did writing an essay on 'lord of the flies' help me in adult life?

I have a tendency to really roll with it if someone asks me about say, The Punic Wars. Oh yeah.............that glazed look.

I had to look that up. That is very cool. I like the bit in the 2nd punic war when Hannibal asked for more resources and was turned down, which perhaps led to the destruction of an empire. I'm going to quote that next time I ask my boss for more developers and get turned down.

 

[Idahocalypse]

I've learned to keep mostly quiet about my interests because I hate it when people ask me about them - regardless of whether they're autistic or not. Especially because the last time I was very open about a specific interest, other people continued to associate me with said interest even though I had moved on to other subjects months and eventually years later.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

How exactly did writing an essay on 'lord of the flies' help me in adult life?

I can help with that. I wrote an essay entitled :

How exactly will writing an essay on 'lord of the flies' help me in adult life.

Clue : its a short essay

 

[Ylva]

Acceptable school subject nowadays seem of little relevance, why not study parenting? Or office politics? Or Gardening and household bills? Or public transport?

We should suggest it to Finland. They are allegedly trying out some project-based, subjectless education now.

I, for one, would have loved a home economics class where we did our taxes instead of cooking some meal that I wouldn't be able to eat anyway because of texture.

How exactly did writing an essay on 'lord of the flies' help me in adult life?

Maybe so you would be able to avoid finding yourself in a lord-of-the-flies-type situation? No, wait, that doesn't work, you were already in school…

 

[Owl]

I tend to start from the assumption that no one will really want to talk about anything I am interested in. Problem is when an idea has caught my mind I have trouble thinking about anything else, so I tend to have very few conversations. I am not sure how to balance valuing myself enough to value wanting to talk about what I want and respecting that generally no one cares. Many times when I try talking to people without putting a lot of effort into translating it first people ask me to repeat myself in English or tell me to stop making them think because thinking is something they only do at school.

 

[MrSpock]

Pool is one of my special interests. It's usually aggravating when people stop to comment; not only do they usually begin by showing that they don't know anything about it, but they also tend to throw me or my opponent off our game for a bit. It's nice when I'm not actually playing and they know what they're talking about though, better than talking about the weather.

Freezing can be a positive survival trait. Have you ever seen a spider out of the corner of your eye then been unable to find it? You see the movement, then can't see it again because it's stopped moving before you can centre it in your vision. When it moves again you see it easily. Freezing is not going to help you when a tiger is a foot away from you and positively knows you're there, but if something's looking around and has yet to positively locate you freezing is likely the best thing you can do to avoid detection.

 

[mw2530]

@mw2530, so have you ever talked to anyone about a special interest and actually had a decent response? Is it the science that fascinates you or the progress and improvement?

Not very often, with the exception of a few people who are also very passionate about it. Sometimes I can learn from these individuals. I mostly enjoy participating in the activity than talking, reading, or watching it. And pushing myself to improving and maxing out my abilities.

 

[mw2530]

Polyvagal Theory, Fight, Freeze or Engage
PORGES' Poly-Vagal Theory: relaxing our face, chest & belly indicate safety, emotional vulnerability & connection | Presence Academy
How to Live on Earth When You Were Raised in Hell - Heal Write Now for Trauma Survivors & Adults Abused as Children

The vagus nerve has two branches – dorsal and ventral. The dorsal branch is older branch and in case of fear or danger immobilizes a person (freeze) i.e. faint or act dead. Ventral branch is recent in evolutionary history as is found in mammals. The function of ventral branch is to put a brake on fight and flight response and make person feel calm and safe and indulge in social communication.

I am also interested in the Poly-Vagal Theory. Seems to be a central piece of the struggles for those with ASD.

 

[fairy_girl]

I do try to talk to NTs but they just want to use my own interests as small talk or know that I like something a whole lot (or I have alot of knowledge in) and then promises to go to do said thing that I really want to go to gets undone one way or another. Most of the time my conversations get shut down on because I talk too much about them and I get interrupted for questions.

For the most part I don't talk about my interests at all and just do them because it's fun.