Ritchie Aprile
Member
It varies day to day but I get extremely irritated and mad over minor annoyances. Sometimes it's because something's going wrong in my life (relationship problems, money issues etc) or there are days where I inexplicably have no tolerance for anything.
I'm not sure if they're called outbursts or tantrums but when I get really pressed I'll growl while gritting teeth, scream, punch kick slam or throw objects, bite my forearms or bite fabric (while growling) and I've even bit my steering wheel in heavy traffic. The amount of damage I've done to my cars over the past 18 years simply for being angry over virtually nothing is unreal. Don't even wanna know how much money it's cost me. One of my old cars I've had to replace the horn twice from punching it so many times. Cut up my knuckles from punching my car door. My newest car has dents in it from my pounding with my fists. I broke my radio/bluetooth screen from punching it. There's more but you get the idea. I could've gotten myself killed in a couple of road rage accidents had things gone a little differently. Unfortunately my profession requires me to drive way more than your average person does in very densely populated/heavy traffic areas and i'm actually considering getting out of it. There's also a lot of office work which only adds to the pressure. The amount of driving I do in it of itself puts me at risk and combined with my sometimes uncontrollable road rage, it's a miracle that I've only suffered very minor injuries. Whiplash was the worst one. I've also almost gotten into multiple fights over road rage. While I don't get pulled over as much, I once had a terrible driving record. Lots of accidents and moving violations to the point where I was on assigned risk insurance which cost a fortune.
While it's impossible to hide my anger entirely, I make sure nobody sees the extreme side of it (biting and growling). I'm way too embarrassed to let anyone see that (MASKING).
I've been to therapy and tried anger management techniques but it doesn't do much. Weed really helps with my aggression but I can't function being stoned all day.
Anyone else go through this? I really think I'd be a good candidate for anti-psych meds but I'm skeptical due to bad experience with meds I took a long time ago (another thread). Cheers.
I'm not sure if they're called outbursts or tantrums but when I get really pressed I'll growl while gritting teeth, scream, punch kick slam or throw objects, bite my forearms or bite fabric (while growling) and I've even bit my steering wheel in heavy traffic. The amount of damage I've done to my cars over the past 18 years simply for being angry over virtually nothing is unreal. Don't even wanna know how much money it's cost me. One of my old cars I've had to replace the horn twice from punching it so many times. Cut up my knuckles from punching my car door. My newest car has dents in it from my pounding with my fists. I broke my radio/bluetooth screen from punching it. There's more but you get the idea. I could've gotten myself killed in a couple of road rage accidents had things gone a little differently. Unfortunately my profession requires me to drive way more than your average person does in very densely populated/heavy traffic areas and i'm actually considering getting out of it. There's also a lot of office work which only adds to the pressure. The amount of driving I do in it of itself puts me at risk and combined with my sometimes uncontrollable road rage, it's a miracle that I've only suffered very minor injuries. Whiplash was the worst one. I've also almost gotten into multiple fights over road rage. While I don't get pulled over as much, I once had a terrible driving record. Lots of accidents and moving violations to the point where I was on assigned risk insurance which cost a fortune.
While it's impossible to hide my anger entirely, I make sure nobody sees the extreme side of it (biting and growling). I'm way too embarrassed to let anyone see that (MASKING).
I've been to therapy and tried anger management techniques but it doesn't do much. Weed really helps with my aggression but I can't function being stoned all day.
Anyone else go through this? I really think I'd be a good candidate for anti-psych meds but I'm skeptical due to bad experience with meds I took a long time ago (another thread). Cheers.