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An empty sense of personality

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Southern Discomfort, Feb 14, 2016.

  1. Southern Discomfort

    Southern Discomfort Smarter than the Average Bear V.I.P Member

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    Sometimes I feel like I'm a some sort of husk devoid of having a personality, if I was asked to describe myself I'd be at a loss for words. I know that with people with autism if they were to be asked this question it would usually be a list of what they like and their skills but I somehow feel this isn't the complete answer to it. I know I must have a personality or at least a demeanour that people see but for the life of me I just feel like I have an empty space inside that should have been filled. I don't know if this is an autism thing or a psychological thing. Can anybody relate?
     
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  2. unsurewhattoname

    unsurewhattoname Well-Known Member

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    I relate. One of the psychiatrists I'm not completely in lack of personality as I have a sense of humour, but other than that, I don't really "feel" much of anything. My interests do not stay and I tend to have multiple at a time. I lack strong opinions on most things. I don't know if there's a name for this. I wouldn't know how to describe my personality. I just do what I'm told and I'm fine with that.
     
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  3. Southern Discomfort

    Southern Discomfort Smarter than the Average Bear V.I.P Member

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    Yeah, I mean, I have strong opinions on all sorts of things but it doesn't fill this void. It feels like alexithymia but for the personality.
     
  4. zoedundas

    zoedundas New Member

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    I can also relate to this empty feeling. I try to fill it with God. My religion is important to me.
     
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  5. DogwoodTree

    DogwoodTree Still here...

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    I feel like I have a personality, but it's so awkward that I usually suppress it, and so relationships feel incredibly empty. I have strong feelings, but I keep them locked inside (even though I've tried desperately to learn how to bring them to the surface and express them), so no one really knows what my experience of the world is like, and so doesn't know me.

    Is that similar to what you experience, or different somehow?
     
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  6. ancusmitis

    ancusmitis Well-Known Member

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    Sometimes I feel like I have too much personality, and there's no room in my brain for anything the least bit practical
     
  7. StephF

    StephF Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I so feel what you are explaining.
     
  8. Jonathan Lees

    Jonathan Lees Well-Known Member

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    one thing i think it is important to note is that your opinions and interests are very distinct and separate from your personality. your personality is a combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character (we are all unique so we all have personality).

    your opinions strong or weak should be separate because you should be open to changing your opinions with new data, evidence or arguments rather than your opinions being an unchanging part of who you are. don't be defined by your opinions be defined by your personality.

    your interests are similarly not a part of your personality they are just things you enjoy or are interested in and as said above can change, don't be defined by your interests, have a separate personality as well.
     
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  9. Southern Discomfort

    Southern Discomfort Smarter than the Average Bear V.I.P Member

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    I don't know, I wonder what the difference between this and dissociative identity confusion is. I just don't feel like I can relate to myself.
     
  10. David Larson

    David Larson Active Member

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    Hmm...I sort of feel this way. I feel I have a variety of personalities I can choose from and wear like a mask, depending on who I'm talking to, but that none of them are quite my "real" personality.

    I have no source for this, but I heard once that female Aspies often have issues with personal identity in theory because they possess mirror neurons and are thus able to mimic the behaviors of others - whereas male aspies don't have mirror neurons. They can mimic the behaviors of others to form something that functions as a personality, but isn't quite a real personality of their own. I doubt this happens 100 percent of the time, but I remember the literature referring to all female Aspies in such a way, so there you go.

    The "but" is: as we all know, ASD research is very lacking, especially for a fringe topic such as this. So, their conclusion about mirror neurons could be false; I've developed all my personas by mimicking others, after all. If the mirror neuron conclusion is indeed false, and the real reason is something that is other than strictly gender-specific, this could be the source of your feelings of lack of identity.

    I'm stretching about as far as I can possibly stretch on this one, but that's about the best I've got.
     
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  11. Slothra

    Slothra The Space Police

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    I do occasionally feel like I'm just in a transitory period, waiting for some perceived input as to who I should be next. I definitely don't have a stable personality.
     
  12. tfwo

    tfwo Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I relate to this very much. I can't tell you who I am. I've cultivated the practice, and often allow myself to mindlessly speak aloud when I am alone. I often find myself repeating phrases that I'm sure most NT's would find troubling, or at least puzzling. Here are some that come to mind ... "I am the embodiment of all that I am not." "I've died so many times." "Everywhere I look, there I am." Some years ago I came to realize that when I would try to take a stand on the nature of who I am, or how I feel about something, that I would come to the realization some minutes or hours later, that I actually feel exactly opposite of my previous conclusion. As a result of this understanding, I've grown into the state of living in which I only hold beliefs tentatively, while realizing I also have the opposite view. I live in potentia such as Schrodinger's cat. I am both alive and dead. I both exist and do not exist. It reminds me of a quote that went something like, "At the end of the day when I get home and remove all my masks, under the whole facade, there is no I." Although that is not completely correct for my situation. I do have a sense of self, it's just that it is not really definable.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2016
  13. Questella

    Questella Peace, Love and all that good stuff

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    Totally, whenever asked to describe myself or talk about myself back in the school days I'd always sit there stupidly or if I had to go last just repeat the most vague nondescriptive thing someone else had said, I'm surprised I never got beat up for doing that one, maybe they weren't paying attention by the time I went?
     
  14. David Rosales

    David Rosales New Member

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    Despite a moderately successful professional life I still feel like this.

    I wonder if through moments of friendly admiration and support through kind words could change my attitude like it has before.
     
  15. Ender

    Ender Unemployed Philosopher

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    Actually, I feel quite the contrary.

    Maybe it is due to the fact that I discovered and henceforth studied personality theory at a relatively young age, but I have always felt a very keen sense of the sort of personality I have.

    MBTI gave me a sort of "people formula" that helped me differentiate how different sorts of people work. Whether introvert or extrovert, intuitive or sensing, judging or perceiving. The deeper I delved and picked apart the nuances of both MBTI and Jungian theory, the firmer a hold I had on understanding myself and - furthermore - what parts of me is the Aspergers (a distinct object from personality).
     
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  16. David Rosales

    David Rosales New Member

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    My keen fascination did not suffice as a steady source of findings in this field. Where can I learn more? What titles should I look for?