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An aloha and questions from a between-diagnosis 34yr old guy


New Member
Hey all... Im 34 and am currently being tossed around psychologists and such after a rituals, manic depressive, adhd, ocd life crossed with an eating disorder/exercise addiction and landed me in discussions about high functioning autism...
That sounds crazy! and is; however I'm like a 90% happy guy... i actually enjoy my rituals a lot (though they do isolate me) and i had a few questions (or traits id love to hear if anyone else has):
1. When in my ore manic stages i come across extremely charismatic and personable (I'm a good actor) but enjoy the interaction bc it feels like a game.
2. When I'm not in my prime or my script fails, I'm a socially disconnected goof completely introverted/introspective
3. I have a lot of trouble with temperature (get cold and hot easily and it affects my cognition immensely. (actually have Reynolds syndrome)
4. I can't take working for others bc i can't balance/understand expectations and ALWAYS feel I'm letting others down
5. I gave up on girlfriends 5 years back bc i couldn't take the anxiety of emotional and/or physical intimacy (i modeled for years and raced professional triathlons... i say that to stress the weirdness of a constant feeling i disgust girls when in a deep relationship)
6. I actually love myself and my appearance/creativity/etc... i say that bc when i am in an independent work, social, etc situation i am very happy and confident (though a bit quirky)... Even my eating disorder was free of appearance issues (it is much more a sensory thing around feelings of starvation and satisfaction)

Thats a lot of me... sorry! chime in at will
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