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Featured Am I ugly? Or average?

Discussion in 'PDD-NOS, Social Anxiety and Others' started by Frostee, Nov 29, 2019 at 5:47 PM.

  1. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    I'm confused. What Scowly look? I don't look angry.
     
  2. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member

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    You’re a 3.14159265359.
     
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  3. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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    Okay, but is he as sweet?
     
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  4. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You look fine. Most people must be between 3 and 7 I suppose, if it's a bell curve?
     
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  5. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    Some of the comments on Reddit honestly make me feel so bad.

    Lol. No you don’t. No job, no friends, no significant other.

    Ok. I hate myself for this but I’ll do it anyway

    I’m going to give you the best advice you’ve heard all year.

    Start lifting weights, shave your head.

    This person stalks me constantly. lie-detective (u/lie-detective) - Reddit

    I honestly don’t know how to deal with these people. They follow me around, derail all my threads and downvote all my YouTube videos.

    One of them (who I blocked) keeps sharing my video and ridiculing me.

    I don’t know why these people are so obsessed with me or how I could get them off my tail. I block them, they create another account. Rinse and repeat.
     
  6. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    Their obsession is scaring me now.
     
  7. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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    Do you have to be on their forum? So many of us eschew Facebook & Wrong Planet for the same reasons.
     
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  8. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    I stay because there’s some interesting subs that I can look at. I do not want them to win.
     
  9. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    To me the comments don't sound helpful, but neither do they sound awful. Ýou give information about your self and they are summing it up in the way it sounds to them, and offering advice as they see it. That's what threads are for, threads are open to all and you will get a mix of takes on your postings, and people who don't empathise or reassure others.

    Btw I haven't noticed you posting reassurance to others a lot, this might be a good thing to practice more, instead of posting so much about yourself and your worries? Life is a two way street, after all.
     
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  10. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    Telling me that I need to shave my hair? Really?

    They said my car was a chavmobile for goodness sake
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2019 at 5:33 AM
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  11. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yes really.
     
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  12. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    I don’t need to shave my hair thanks.
     
  13. Rasputin

    Rasputin Active Member

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    It might be worthwhile to pay a photographer to do a photo shoot. I had a friend who is a photographer take 75-100 photos of me in natural settings / places I identify with. Only one photo came out really good because I have difficulty maintaining eye contact and smiling. I was satisfied getting one good photograph, but another 20-25 serious shots came out okay.

    Regarding your appearance I think you would look fine with a good photographer taking photos.
     
    • Useful Useful x 1
  14. Fade2black

    Fade2black Active Member

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    There are a lot of women on this board that takes offense when I talk about male/female relationships. Hopefully, I won't be reprimanded again for having a male opinion and perspective on this again.

    OP, I did the online dating for years and I can say that "most" women on these dating sites are extremely shallow and carry a lot of baggage. It's a bit like employment. Employers go out of their way to keep good employees leaving a revolving door or bad employees that float from one job to the next. The dating sites seem to be full of these 'revolving door people and the quality catches are difficult to find.

    Forget about the likes, that is childish. It's not a popularity contest. Do pay attention to the pictures as I believe people are really the uniform they wear. Avoid women who smile too much, who have tattoos, piercings and big earrings. Avoid women in vacation photos or at extrvagant locations and avoid women who wear too much makeup and have designer clothes. Do look for the woman with the slight smile, little to no makeup, who wears average clothes and who may appear a bit aloof in her photos. These women are more realistic and hold higher values.

    Also, look for women outside your race. When there are geophysical differences there is an unspoken and higher level of patience and tolerance getting to know each other and I find that conversation comes easier because 'we are different."

    And for the ladies who may take offense of my comments, just remember this is a two-way street. That hot looking guy in the action photos is not there to find a long term partner, he's there to spread his seed as far and wide as possible. A shy looking male will almost always be the better choice.
     
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  15. Noelle

    Noelle Well-Known Member

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    No, you're not. You are attractive.

    Yes, they do. But I have to believe that men have the same unrealistic standards.

    Do. Especially if this app is making you think less of yourself.
     
  16. Noelle

    Noelle Well-Known Member

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    If you are, take it into consideration, but don't let it stop you from sharing your perspective. The current culture I live in (I'm not sure where you live) is not that into listening to men at the moment. But there are women who would like to hear/read what you have to say, and I'm sure I can't be the only one on this forum.

    I can't speak from experience because I don't understand why anybody uses a dating site. But, I feel like this cannot be unique to women in online dating. Women I've talked to who've tried online dating have said the same about the men they've encountered on these sites. Maybe this is a generational issue more than a gender issue? I don't know...

    Well put, my brother. Good for you.

    Also very sage advice here.

    You are very astute, Fade2black. I wish you would come to speak to my friends and co-workers. For what it's worth, I hope you find somebody (if you haven't already) who appreciates you, be it online or somewhere else.

    All the best to you. N
     
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  17. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    Whoa whoa whoa.

    *REALLY* not a good idea to put that much stock into someone's appearance. And avoiding people because of "vacation photos" is even more ridiculous. A photo taking place on a bloody island tells you *very literally* nothing about a person except "they were on an island one time and someone had a camera". I mean... what? I just... where are you even getting these ideas? Actually, I dont really want to know. But it's so astonishingly illogical that it almost becomes a sort of anti-logic. I could take a bloody photo of myself out in the snow, and by that logic, you'd think I actually liked the freaking snow (hint: there's nothing I hate more than snow).

    I think the problem people on this forum have with this isnt that it's "bad male opinion", it's just... bad ideas in general. That's a very, very dangerous way of thinking. Those on this site in particular should know better than this.

    But also... before even considering this way of thinking, think of yourself as well. How nice is it, really, for those of us on the spectrum to always be considered in exactly this way? For people to constantly think we are automatically "like this" (whatever "this" happens to be at the time) because we're on the spectrum? Did you ever hear about that big forum, where these people would go to complain about their spouses who had Aspergers (I think they always called it that there), and how it was ALWAYS bad and how anyone who had it was ALWAYS a shallow, selfish jerk who cared only about themselves? And they'd scream and yell at anyone who tried to tell them otherwise. They'd list all of this "evidence" about how right they were and everything. I dont remember what that place was called, but it was quite the story going around for awhile. I've heard about it both here and on Wrongplanet.

    In other words, they pre-judged people based on ONE thing about them (due to their experience with exactly ONE individual on the spectrum, in almost all cases), and that was that. They refused to acknowledge the fact that maybe... just maybe... this one facet of a person was not the entire person. Or the fact that maybe, in their dealings with someone who was on the spectrum... that maybe it wasnt the person on the spectrum who was screwing up. They sure as heck couldnt see THAT.

    Seeing any parallels there? 'Cause I sure as heck am.


    I'm not trying to be mean here, but good grief. This sort of thinking is the sort that could cause ALOT of trouble. And all in all... it's shallow, disrespectful, and honestly just plain mean to make assumptions about people like that based on dumb things in photos.
     
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  18. Trophonius

    Trophonius Active Member

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    It's the internet. I've been told I'm
    (1) Pretentious
    (2) Neckbeard
    (3) The F word for homosexual.

    And probably a few more I can't remember. If you want to expose yourself posting ANYTHING online, you will need to develop thicker skin.

    Also, I read some on your posts on reddit. Sometimes, you seem to become aggressive really quickly when someone say something you dislike, and even if they are trolling, I think the best route is simply ignoring them — otherwise it's you who is feeding the trolls.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2019 at 1:16 PM
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  19. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member

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    I think your advice makes perfect sense. I, too, would avoid anyone who is overgroomed and trying to look as beautiful/sexy as possible in her photo. Basically anyone who is posing and/or trying to make herself look or seem really fantastic. Such people (men, too) tend to be shallow, boring, and stuck up to varying degrees.
     
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  20. Frostee

    Frostee Well-Known Member

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    Are you sure? People on Reddit said I was a 4.