Dazedintrovert
New Member
Hello everyone. I don't know if I 'm posting this thread on the right place, but I hope someone will help.
I'm a 16 year old who has some signs/symptoms of Asperger's, but I may just be an introvert, I don't know. For some reasons, I don't want to see a specialist, but I would like to know if I'm an Aspie. This will be a long post, I'll describe all my symptoms and signs.
First, I got 144 out of 200 on the Aspie quiz.
I haven't had any speech delay.
I was very shy as a child. Although I used to play with other children and I enjoyed pretend games, I could not get close to any of those children. The situation got even worse when I went to school. I didn't like my classmates, neither did they. I had attention problems, I used to miss what they said to me, I would rather sit and study things around me than play with my classmates. I liked to study everything around me, would imagine their parts, what were inside them (something like particles but I didn't know that back then), their shadows, geometric shapes, I had a habit to stare at a thing and shake my leg after perceiving its details (it sounds strange, I don't know how to describe it correctly), I was obsessed with numbers and their features, especially the rules for odd and even numbers and progressions (well I didn't know those things, I wasn't a math prodigy of course, I just liked to determine the rules which applied to numbers). I had a strange obsession with words, too. I used to count every letter in the word (which resulted in that I can tell the number of letters in any long word in just seconds), study its structure (consonants and vowels) and arranged its letters so that each consonant was always followed with a vowel. I did those things in my mind almost every second, I could barely concentrate on other things. I'm very detail-oriented, so I often miss the big picture.
I have very poor motor skills, too. I can't blink, can't keep balance, have awkward posture, have REALLY awkward movements (such as when dancing), I was very weak, but had no health problem related to it. I was very very slow and clumsy, though I was really thin. Everyone was joking about the way I walked, though I don't walk that badly now.
I have problems with working in groups. I just couldn't communicate with them, so I sit there awkwardly and silently. I don't have any problem with having empathy for fictional characters (but this compassion is rarely strong), but almost everytime fail to feel sorry for real people, even when I know logically that they are in problem. I sometimes love to talk about myself (but only when I am comfortable with that person), but hate to hear their problems or stories. I just don't care, even if I have really strong sympathy for them.
I failed to get gestures or mimics. When someone would hint me something, I just confusingly stared at them. But sometimes (though it's rare) I correctly identify their hints. I can sometimes read faces, but mostly I don't notice something special on their mimics, they're mostly the same.
I don't have stronger senses (hearing or smth) than other people do.
I would hide behind the sofa when I had to greet guests, I was that shy. When I was a child, I wanted to have friends, but not those children around me, sometimes I just wanted their respect and maybe even fear, but other times I wanted them to like me, I wanted to be like them. Now I don't care about making friends, I don't feel any regret for having few friends.
As a child I got offended by sarcasm, it was always making me self-conscious. When someone would mock at me, I thought they seriously meant it. My classmates would often explain me that they were joking, that continued for years, but I could not get used to it, I would't think even for a moment that it was sarcasm. Today I'm not that problematic about it. I used to avoid eye contact, but now have almost no problem with it. I may look in someone's eyes for five seconds or so, then I automatically break it.
I don't follow routines. My room is a total mess, I don't stick to a schedule, I'm always late, I'm furthest from being organized.
I like poetry, I used to like literature a lot, I even write poems, generally about nature and the universe. I like music and can feel it. I'm far from being asexual, but I rarely like any boy because of their personality, I don't feel attachment or something (though I've never been in a relationship). I just like them temporarily.
I have unusual interests for my age. I like physics and astronomy, maths, geology and am obsessed with collecting rocks (it's inherited-my father has this hobby too). I like philosophy (especially metaphysics and those topics who study abstract concepts) and logic.
I often walk around the house, even with jumping and in those moments I imagine many things. This habit is inherited too, my mother was like that but not that obsessed with it.
I've never talked to myself, rather I imagine that I talk to some people (mostly to real ones), but of course I realize that they aren't there. I generally like to discuss politics or similar topics with ''them''.
I got bullied from my old school because of all these things, so I had regular appointments with a psychologist for a while last year. She haven't ever said that I may be on autistic spectrum. Maybe she suspected it but didn't say, I was visiting her for ''rehabilitating'' and gaining some confidence, so she didn't find it useful to talk to me about autism.
I have no regular routines and schedules, also no OCD, but I often used to think that if I hadn't done X (it was never an important task, it was always something lime: ''if I don't run to another wall in five seconds, I (or someone else) will die.''
Thanks for reading, I hope I receive your opinions on whether I am an Aspie or not. I might be just unlucky shy introvert with unusual interests and habits. I now have a bit confidence, my new classmates don't find me that weird (though I don't communicate with them, but I didn't communicate with old classmates either). No one has ever suspected that I may be an Aspie. (My family would tell me that I should go out more often, that I wasn't like other children and some neighbors might have considered me crazy because of my shyness and introvertedness, teachers and classmates found me weird and timid, but no one suspected that I was an autistic. Maybe it's because in my country there is almost no awareness about Asperger's (but when someone has severe autism, it gets quickly noticed, people are just not informed about high functioning autism).
When I read about Aspies and their experiences, I think my symptoms aren't that severe. I think it's not obvious for me, whereas others often point out that it was always noticeable for them.
What do you think? Can I be an Aspie suspect?
I'm a 16 year old who has some signs/symptoms of Asperger's, but I may just be an introvert, I don't know. For some reasons, I don't want to see a specialist, but I would like to know if I'm an Aspie. This will be a long post, I'll describe all my symptoms and signs.
First, I got 144 out of 200 on the Aspie quiz.
I haven't had any speech delay.
I was very shy as a child. Although I used to play with other children and I enjoyed pretend games, I could not get close to any of those children. The situation got even worse when I went to school. I didn't like my classmates, neither did they. I had attention problems, I used to miss what they said to me, I would rather sit and study things around me than play with my classmates. I liked to study everything around me, would imagine their parts, what were inside them (something like particles but I didn't know that back then), their shadows, geometric shapes, I had a habit to stare at a thing and shake my leg after perceiving its details (it sounds strange, I don't know how to describe it correctly), I was obsessed with numbers and their features, especially the rules for odd and even numbers and progressions (well I didn't know those things, I wasn't a math prodigy of course, I just liked to determine the rules which applied to numbers). I had a strange obsession with words, too. I used to count every letter in the word (which resulted in that I can tell the number of letters in any long word in just seconds), study its structure (consonants and vowels) and arranged its letters so that each consonant was always followed with a vowel. I did those things in my mind almost every second, I could barely concentrate on other things. I'm very detail-oriented, so I often miss the big picture.
I have very poor motor skills, too. I can't blink, can't keep balance, have awkward posture, have REALLY awkward movements (such as when dancing), I was very weak, but had no health problem related to it. I was very very slow and clumsy, though I was really thin. Everyone was joking about the way I walked, though I don't walk that badly now.
I have problems with working in groups. I just couldn't communicate with them, so I sit there awkwardly and silently. I don't have any problem with having empathy for fictional characters (but this compassion is rarely strong), but almost everytime fail to feel sorry for real people, even when I know logically that they are in problem. I sometimes love to talk about myself (but only when I am comfortable with that person), but hate to hear their problems or stories. I just don't care, even if I have really strong sympathy for them.
I failed to get gestures or mimics. When someone would hint me something, I just confusingly stared at them. But sometimes (though it's rare) I correctly identify their hints. I can sometimes read faces, but mostly I don't notice something special on their mimics, they're mostly the same.
I don't have stronger senses (hearing or smth) than other people do.
I would hide behind the sofa when I had to greet guests, I was that shy. When I was a child, I wanted to have friends, but not those children around me, sometimes I just wanted their respect and maybe even fear, but other times I wanted them to like me, I wanted to be like them. Now I don't care about making friends, I don't feel any regret for having few friends.
As a child I got offended by sarcasm, it was always making me self-conscious. When someone would mock at me, I thought they seriously meant it. My classmates would often explain me that they were joking, that continued for years, but I could not get used to it, I would't think even for a moment that it was sarcasm. Today I'm not that problematic about it. I used to avoid eye contact, but now have almost no problem with it. I may look in someone's eyes for five seconds or so, then I automatically break it.
I don't follow routines. My room is a total mess, I don't stick to a schedule, I'm always late, I'm furthest from being organized.
I like poetry, I used to like literature a lot, I even write poems, generally about nature and the universe. I like music and can feel it. I'm far from being asexual, but I rarely like any boy because of their personality, I don't feel attachment or something (though I've never been in a relationship). I just like them temporarily.
I have unusual interests for my age. I like physics and astronomy, maths, geology and am obsessed with collecting rocks (it's inherited-my father has this hobby too). I like philosophy (especially metaphysics and those topics who study abstract concepts) and logic.
I often walk around the house, even with jumping and in those moments I imagine many things. This habit is inherited too, my mother was like that but not that obsessed with it.
I've never talked to myself, rather I imagine that I talk to some people (mostly to real ones), but of course I realize that they aren't there. I generally like to discuss politics or similar topics with ''them''.
I got bullied from my old school because of all these things, so I had regular appointments with a psychologist for a while last year. She haven't ever said that I may be on autistic spectrum. Maybe she suspected it but didn't say, I was visiting her for ''rehabilitating'' and gaining some confidence, so she didn't find it useful to talk to me about autism.
I have no regular routines and schedules, also no OCD, but I often used to think that if I hadn't done X (it was never an important task, it was always something lime: ''if I don't run to another wall in five seconds, I (or someone else) will die.''
Thanks for reading, I hope I receive your opinions on whether I am an Aspie or not. I might be just unlucky shy introvert with unusual interests and habits. I now have a bit confidence, my new classmates don't find me that weird (though I don't communicate with them, but I didn't communicate with old classmates either). No one has ever suspected that I may be an Aspie. (My family would tell me that I should go out more often, that I wasn't like other children and some neighbors might have considered me crazy because of my shyness and introvertedness, teachers and classmates found me weird and timid, but no one suspected that I was an autistic. Maybe it's because in my country there is almost no awareness about Asperger's (but when someone has severe autism, it gets quickly noticed, people are just not informed about high functioning autism).
When I read about Aspies and their experiences, I think my symptoms aren't that severe. I think it's not obvious for me, whereas others often point out that it was always noticeable for them.
What do you think? Can I be an Aspie suspect?
