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I got diagnosed when I was 17. I guess the only thing I changed is that I stopped making myself do things that were too stressful and overwhelming and started accepting myself and my limitations. I also used to have very low self esteem and hate myself but when I got diagnosed, everything made sense and I realised why I was different so I stopped trying to fit in anymore. Overall, I changed for the better.
I did not change anything after my diagnosis but I was 62 at that time. By then my life style was set, I had a wife and a big family. I also had been working doing the same thing for many years. However, It did make a difference. I was glad to know why I am, the way that I am. I feel like I know myself better than before the diagnosis and it feels good.
I am looking for some input on experiences after the diagnosis. I have had tests over the past couple of months, appointments in which it is just speaking back and forth and more appointments scheduled.

I am not a grey area person at all, meaning that I tell it as it is and expect the same from others. I have been told a twice now that "we will work together and over time we will lessen your suffering". I am now seeing two different doctors, one a Phd psychologist and the other an MD psychiatrist. Neither seem to want to listen very well, or at least hear what I am saying. I am not suffering in the sense that I am depressed. I just get very uncomfortable when forced to interact with people or when I am not left alone. One had told me "there are several billion people in this world and we can't change them, so we must change you". I don't want to change me. I like me mostly. Not saying that I don't work on improving myself every chance I get.

I'm on a medication now (information in the medication post) and have an appointment with the Phd psychologist this week. This is unfamiliar territory for me and would like some help from you guys, please. What am I to expect over the next week/month/year?
Thank you all
I feel very alone and I frequently ask this because I really wish someone else would say "yeah I get it and I feel like that too."

People way an adult diagnosis was great and their life all made sense after it. I will never understand that.

I was diagnosed 6 years ago. I went to a shrink for help with job related anxiety. I never consented to being told I was on the spectrum but that's what they told me. They said they were sure.

My whole life crashed down. Before this j was an oddball geek with a lot of friends who loved life and loved my friends and family.

But within a short time I came very close to suicide and ended up in the hospital. Since being diagnosed I think about self harm and suicide every day. I never drank or used drugs before. But then I learned I am on the spectrum and suddebly complete intoxication was the only escape from it.

I look in the mirror and I see an autistic monster looking back at me. I cry about it all the time.

I can't have friends. Every time I look at them I see someone better than me.

My diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder just makes me hate myself so much.

I feel like there are two lives I lived. The one before diagnosis, in relative happiness and gne one I live now, obsessed and consumed by my hate and disgust for myself.

Why would anyone be diagnosed as an adult? You made it this far so you must be relatively okay. Don't ruin it.. just...live life.

Autism is the worst thibg you could ever be.

Doesnt anyone feel this way? I miss having friend and loving myself.

Now I just...I think about death all the time and I just crave alcohol and drugs so much it's overwhelming.
@Not even human
Why so you think autistic is the worst thing you could ever be?

Many people are diagnosed with autism as adults because they cannot make it in life and have not made it at all up until diagnosis, hence the need for evaluation.

Many people need support services just to survive in the world as adults.
What is the most important thing about being a human? What makes a human a thing different from a computer or a wind up toy?

Ability to relate to others. Theory of mind. The spirit of connection and understanding that united everyone. Theory of self.

Empathy. Above all else, perhaps empathy.

The things missing from me.
@Not even human

Human DNA makes people human.... social bonds aren’t unique to humans.

Autistic people do have difficulty understanding others but that does not mean we are totally incapable of it nor that we lack care and compassion and love for others - or that we lack empathy (at least emotional empathy...it all gets muddy depending on how you define “empathy”).

Difficulty understanding another will happen with any two people who are very different in fundamental ways (our cognition works very differently to non-autistic people) or have very different communication ....and relating is a two-way street; Most non-autistics with their supposedly amazing Theory of Mind seem to do no better understanding autistic people than we do understanding them.

Nobody is totally without the capacity to relate at all, even if their ways of relating are very different or involve significant limitations in expression and understanding.

Autistic people have specific cognitive differences and difficulties that interfere with social success and/or make it harder to relate, we aren’t devoid of the capacity to form bonds with other people and our difficulties do not make relating with others impossible.

Many autistic people have meaningful connections (happy marriages, friendships, loving families) with others, and when they don’t it is not because they are any less human.

Being autistic doesn’t make me (or you or anyone) a monster nor does it make me (or you or anyone) less human nor incapable of connecting with others. It makes it harder to connect sometimes, because that is what any big difference that affects communication does. (Also sometimes because of prejudice and lack of tolerance/fear of difference and disability.)

You have been sadly misinformed about autism.
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@Not even human

If I may, I would like to share my two cents on your plight.

For the sake of this case argument, let us disregard our ideals and appetites and focus on the facts. You will realize that what you said is a contradiction: if you have been completely honest with us, then what you say cannot be impossible.

Let us examine the two specific quotes of yours that cause me to believe this: “Before this I was an oddball geek with a lot of friends who loved life and loved my friends and family” and “What is the most important thing about being a human?... Ability to relate to others. Theory of mind. The spirit of connection and understanding that united everyone. Theory of self...Empathy... The things missing from me.“

The contradiction occurs with these two claims: (a) that you had a successful social life before the diagnosis of autism and (b) that those with Autism cannot have successful social life. The reason why both claims cannot be possible, my friend, lies in the fact that Autism is a nuerodevelopmental disorder. It exists from birth or early childhood and persists throughout the lifetime. You do not “get” Autism once you receive a diagnosis, the diagnosis only reveals that you have had it all along.

So let us put all these facts together then. You where diagnosed with autism, which means you have had it all of your life. Yet, you once had a successful and fulfilling social life. During this time, you had Autism, even though you where not diagnosed.

Do you see the contradiction now: it is not possible that Autism causes you to be unable to connect with other human beings, because for years before the diagnosis you had Autism and where connecting with humans.

In conclusion, both the claim that (a) you where able to have a positive social life before the diagnosis and (b) autism makes it impossible to have a positive social life cannot be correct at the same time. So there are only three logical conclusions to make: (1) that claim a is wrong, (2) that claim b is wrong or (3) that both are wrong. So tell me then @ Not Even Human, what is the conclusion you make of it?

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