Advice from aspies with no experience?

[Judge]

You miss my meaning Judge. I'm in no way talking about enforcement or duty of care.

I'm asking about what drives a person to give such advice... Surely if they realised what they were doing was not helpful, they would want to stop?

Looks like everyone covered that too...especially Stellaeres. People wanting to be helpful and hopeful.

But I was just wondering from a legal perspective and my own curiosity when it comes to any duty owed. Especially had the advice precipitated an actual injury. (I used to be an insurance underwriter. Never saw any claims like that outside of professional liability.)

 

[Christy]

People give advice precisely because they hope that it is helpful, and they think there is a possibility that it might be helpful.
I don't think anyone gives advice with the awareness that it is lousy advice.
And it is theoretically possible for someone without experience to give a piece of good advice, even if its not so likely.

No doubt, but with just a little more information about the background of the advice, it would help the OP to be able to make a more informed decision.

 

[Judge]

No doubt, but with just a little more information about the background of the advice, it would help the OP to be able to make a more informed decision.

I suppose that really depends on what you are asking. I mean, if you are "in the dark" about something to begin with, how do you effectively validate advice on the same subject?

 

[Ste11aeres]

I suppose that really depends on what you are asking. I mean, if you are "in the dark" about something to begin with, how do you effectively validate advice on the same subject?

And in addition, in many cases, even the wisest person can't really know what the outcome a particular decision will be.
Often this is because of the unpredictability of reactions of other persons in the OPs life.
A decision can be the right decision, and end up having negative results. A decision can be the wrong decision, yet the person who made it can get lucky and end up with good results.
Just because a decision worked out one way for one person doesn't mean it will work out the same way for everyone.

For instance, I think you mentioned one person having left a job and ending up happier; well, I quit a job and still regret it.
That's one thing that annoyed me about the almost-viral "follow your dreams" speech by Jim Carey. Just because he ended up extremely successful in his dream of becoming a comedic actor doesn't mean every other person would end up succeeding in such an unrealistic dream. There are plenty of people who don't succeed in following the exact same dream that Jim Carey did succeed in.

 

[Gomendosi]

I think Christy is saying that if a questioner is in the dark then any advice is going to sound reasonable if given with an authoritative bent.

When is it fair to suggest that a person that has no expertise in an area say so before giving advice, I mean should it be read by a more believing person like an Aspie who then might act on it, they can then weigh it against other advice received which they know comes from a tried and true source.


The fact is that the OP has put forth a valid topic for discussion and it is looking like her question is largely being ignored in favor of rallying to the side of those who disagree to bolster their argument, this is not an argument, there has been no blame laid, the question is simply; “why, if you have no experience in something do you feel qualified to give advice as though you do”

Some answers from what I can gather are that Aspies like to be helpful and give of their general knowledge, also, Aspies assume that as this is an Aspie site they have a right to offer an answer whether on topic or not, As well as some Aspies assume every little scrap of info is invaluable in the decision making process, whereas some just want to say something that will be ‘liked’.

It would also appear that some people are capable of saying that they have no experience to speak of but they offer their opinion in hopes it will help and I for one think this would always be the best course of action in a place filled with persons on the spectrum, and then there are some who just read the last post and speak to that rather than find out about what the topic actually is.

For myself I find that all advice is helpful in helping me come to a thoroughly informed decision of my own choice but what the OP has asked is why some Aspies purport to be knowledgeable in an area where they have no previous experience, leading the questioner to believe that certain actions could be favorable when it may not be the case, we all know an Aspie is more believing than most, as is my understanding.
It is not inconceivable that an Aspie upon reading advice given with a supposedly professional air would take that as a feasible suggestion; I admit I have done so in the past only to be stopped short later.


For the poster to give a comment on their background and thus what the information is pertaining to would help the Aspies it is directed at to make a clearer and more informed decision, in my opinion.

 

[Kari Suttle]

Christy, I will begin by admitting that your post has upset me. Here, most people are generally quite supportive and helpful. I feel no need to hide who I am here or restrict what I say, and I believe the same can be said for everyone else. What you're saying to me implies that from your point of view, my opinion isn't wanted and wouldn't count for **** if i haven't been in your shoes before which i admit hits a really sore point that is best left alone. Just wanted to put a little disclaimer and explanation as to why i sound a little off writing a reply.

But like i was saying, most people here are nice and want to help each other out. And even if, say, someone else has been in the poster's shoes before (like with your post you were talking about) whose to say their advice is even applicable? Situations are different everywhere even if the replier has experience. IMO its up to the poster to decide based on their unique situation, knowing the people involved for themselves, which repliers' advice is good for their situation and what is not. I frequent another forum set up like this one for people that self harm or have other mental disorders, and their advice (although driven from experience) doesn't always apply. And even if they don't have anything useful to say I appreciate their reply nonetheless. Same goes for people on here.

And if you're that concerned about repliers' background, then you can just reply to them asking for more information. Or message them. Or click their username and stalk their recent activity and profile information.

 

[Christy]

Christy, I will begin by admitting that your post has upset me. Here, most people are generally quite supportive and helpful. I feel no need to hide who I am here or restrict what I say, and I believe the same can be said for everyone else. What you're saying to me implies that from your point of view, my opinion isn't wanted and wouldn't count for **** if i haven't been in your shoes before which i admit hits a really sore point that is best left alone. Just wanted to put a little disclaimer and explanation as to why i sound a little off writing a reply.

Kari, I am very sorry if this is the message you have taken from all my posts. I have said multiple times that even people who don't have direct experience have value to add, and I mean that. The point of what I am saying is that people talk with an authoritative voice on topics they have no authority in, and this can cause OPs problems. Yes, it is up the the OP to make their own decisions, and to verify any advice they receive, but it is HELPFUL when the person posting the advice volunteers more information on the background of the advice or says if the information they are giving is opinion only.

I think that many of the times I've given advice has been when the op is in a situation or experiencing that bears some resemblance to situations I've been in or things I've experienced(not always exactly the same, but often close). And in those cases, my advice was often better than in times when I really didn't have experience. Maybe in the future I'll try a bit more to make it clear whether the thing I'm saying relates to something in my past.

This post hits the nail on the head as to what I am trying to stimulate discussion on.

 

[Kari Suttle]

The point of what I am saying is that people talk with an authoritative voice on topics they have no authority in, and this can cause OPs problems.

Yeah i get that. But wouldn't the only way to avoid putting on an authoritative voice be for everyone to state going in that they don't have experience in the area of discussion? That's not gonna happen, even if it would be nice for all involved to do that. When i think of it i try to do that, or at least avoid a topic i'm unfamiliar with. Since most of us area aspies anyways maybe just put in the OP point blank that you would like to know what background people who answer speak from as well.

 

[Kari Suttle]

Kari, I am very sorry if this is the message you have taken from all my posts.

Its alright. It was more of me being upset by the initial post, skimming the replies, and then lashing out from there. Thanks for clarifying. Too many words and replies way too late at night (on too little sleep) to really put together what's being said as easily.

 

[epath13]

Apparently a lot of people see something that I haven't maybe I have some sort of a filter in my head and only take in information that I need. I presume that most people suggest something because they've been in the similar situation, or maybe somebody they know have been... or maybe they've thought about the issue and have something to say about it... I thought that's how it works... could you give an example without getting into details too much?

 

[Red Star]

"So why do people provide advice on issues they have no experience in?"
The answers I have so far from people:
1. I hope it's helpful to someone (regardless of experience)
2. I hope it's helpful to someone (I've been there/am there)
3. I hope it's helpful to someone (no experience)
4. It's just an option for them
5. They have more options now
6. I know what I'm talking about, I thought about it while I drank my coffee.
7. I don't have a clue but this might work for them..
8. Don't ask me, I don't know.
9. Google it.
10. Hang on, someone's Skyping me..
11. What's an aspie?
I think 6 and 11 are my personal favourites and my experience of asking people is that the first 3 are the main reasons. I get every bit of info I can on things to try and give what I will call an 'informed opinion'.
Personal experience is my entire 40+ years of struggling with trying 'normal' and finally someone saying 'Do you think you might have...?'. I also work with and for people with learning difficulties which pointed me in the right direction.
People do this stuff out of concern, 'in the hope' that it's helpful, even professionals, this is like asking a doctor, "Why do you want to be one?"
I read with interest, other people experiences or thoughts and find useful something called 'Reflective Learning' - you experience, review, adapt/develop and then test as the next experience. Practicality, a need to know and logic keep me moving along, developing and hopefully on the right track where something I might say or do might 'click' for someone and make a difference for them. I've learned a lot from the original question and peoples thoughts on it, I know some people have learned what an Aspie is, today

 

[Shannon Beech]

I think it's a mistake and believe to think that one needs to have direct experience with something in order to give advice on that subject. Experience is only one path to knowledge you can learn a lot just from observation too. Therefore, I don't write off or pass up peoples advice simply based on experience.

Yes, there are situations where it is best to have someone with direct experience but that is not always required. There are some things you can just pick up intuitively. For example, you don't need to be an artist to know when there's something off about a drawing or painting. Likewise, you don't need to be a musician to know when there's a wrong note in a piece.

 

[Warmheart]

If you are suffering and need hope or a solution, and my neighbor went through a similar situation, I will mention what helped my neighbor.
Even if I myself did not experience the same issue.
Yup, if I know someone faced a similar challenge, I absolutely will freely supply whatever solution made their life easier.