Adopted by a Neurotypical

[JayLapointe]

So does anyone else have a neurotypical extrovert friend that basically adopted you?

I mentioned this in another thread earlier this morning but it got me thinking. Wondering really if anyone else has had a similar experience in friendships where they basically get adopted by a Neurotypical extrovert. Through the years my best friends have all had that same thing in common, all of them were neurotypical extroverts who took a liking to me and basically decided I was now their best friend. I always figured it happened because my traits more or less balance out the opposite of an NT extrovert. It's that its happened multiple times throughout my life that has me curious. Elementary, High school, University, College, even work. Each phase I've had a different "best" friend but yeah, all of them NT extroverts.

 

[TBRS1]

By necessity, ALL my friends are extroverted.

I don't know if they are NT or not though - they're weird.

 

[the_tortoise]

I've mostly had more socially adept neurodivergent people adopt me --or maybe NTs with lots and lots of ND traits

 

[Judge]

Interesting subject.

LOL...definitely at one point in my life. A co-worker and fellow insurance underwriter. One of those persons who was incredibly bright, fast-on-his-feet and had the "gift of gab" to boot.

The same guy who helped talk a policeman out of citing me for an odd maneuver I made with my car in the middle of the day. Otherwise my own awkwardness in this real time interaction with a cop wasn't helping.

 

[Outdated]

I always had to be my own extrovert. It's not my nature, I prefer quiet and solitude, but to get anywhere in life requires a certain level of social competence. I got a bit of a head start in my teens where my two closest friends were what you would typically describe as NT Extroverts, but when push came to shove and it was time for them to step up they wimped out instead and it was always me left holding the bag.

The same guy who helped talk a policeman out of citing me for an odd maneuver I made with my car in the middle of the day. Otherwise my own awkwardness in this real time interaction with a cop wasn't helping.

Whenever we had interactions with police it was always me that spoke up. My friends realised very early on that if it was me that talked to the cops we got away with just about anything short of murder. To this day I'm not sure how that works, but I never had any problem speaking up when I needed to. I suspect that it's because when I state facts they're usually completely void of emotional context, so the way I speak is easier for trained cops to deal with.

Because of the friends I grew up with I developed the concept of Strength of Character. I discovered that most people were no different to my two mates, all talk until it comes to crunch time then they wimp out and back down. Very few people will actually back their presented facade with action when it's needed.

Although everyone always thought I was a bit strange I was on the whole well liked and well respected by most people and one of the reasons for that was my strength of character. I was reliable, dependable, and always quick to step in to the breach if I thought it was needed.

The only person in the world who's opinion mattered to me was myself, and I held myself to pretty high standards. I also only allowed close friendship with people with similar strength of character because it was a trait that I had respect for.

 

[Judge]

Whenever we had interactions with police it was always me that spoke up. My friends realised very early on that if it was me that talked to the cops we got away with just about anything short of murder.

Sounds great- in Australia.

However the more I read of your post, the more I could see you in the back of a squad car in America, for simply having done one thing- talk too much. Where being too relaxed and extroverted might get you misinterpreted by our police leading to trouble you never saw coming. Where self-confidence and a sense that you haven't done anything wrong can backfire very easily. The initial contact scenario that police depend on to legally move onto reasonable suspicion.

I'll spare you all the legal details. Just know that here any conversation you have with a police officer can look perfectly harmless on the surface, but rest assured they are always ready to pursue action against you if they have reasonable suspicion. Not to mention I grew up with two relatives in federal law enforcement who always seemed perpetually "on duty" even while visiting their relatives.

Interacting with police here continues to evolve into a complex game of "cat and mouse". Where one can believe they are doing all the right things and have nothing to hide, yet they end up in the back of that squad car. It's a lot for most people (autistic or not) to deal with in real time.

My friend and coworker did get me out of a jam, but I suspect we were both lucky that it didn't become anything more than that. But a lot of legal concerns have evolved since then too.

 

[Aspychata]

I end up a lot with ND, bipolar, ADHD types. And a lot of my friends have ASD. It's great to be adopted and appreciated, since many here have a hard time making friends.

 

[Judge]

I end up a lot with ND, bipolar, ADHD types. And a lot of my friends have ASD. It's great to be adopted and appreciated, since many here have a hard time making friends.

The friend I mentioned was a Cuban refugee who spent most of his time in the US in Miami. Which he very colorfully described to me a number of times. Sounded rather strange to me...so many people out and about only to be "seen" by posing in prominent places. Weird...but it made some of Miami Vice seem more understandable...lol.

Though I still chuckle at him literally getting off the boat in America with two federal members of opposing law enforcement agencies arguing in what he said was rather poor English over what to do with him, given his family ties to the party and Fidel. He did spend a few days explaining who and what he knew to certain government personnel.

 

[velociraptor]

So does anyone else have a neurotypical extrovert friend that basically adopted you?

90% of my friends. I don't understand them, but I appreciate them. They also do seem to try and moderate how they behave and look out for me, which I also appreciate. (Most of the time, there is slippage.)

 

[Outdated]

Sounds great- in Australia.

Sadly not all of Australia, mostly only South Australia and Victoria.

Back in the 60s one of our Prime Ministers gave a famous speech but it wasn't until the 80s that we started to realise it's full importance. So far only 2 states have really learned though:

"Civil laws, as opposed to criminal laws, are tools that police Can use, At Their Discretion, in order to maintain peace in the greater community. If these laws are ever used in an attempt to pummel the populace in to submission the result will be anarchy and the collapse of government."

 

[Judge]

"Civil laws, as opposed to criminal laws, are tools that police Can use, At Their Discretion, in order to maintain peace in the greater community. If these laws are ever used in an attempt to pummel the populace in to submission the result will be anarchy and the collapse of government."

I suppose it depends on what civil violations you are implying. Sounds rather odd to me.

From the perspective of our legal system that with most law enforcers in this country, they are far more likely to simply stand down over any real time incident that has only civil legal implications, void of any criminal considerations. Telling them that they need legal counsel and bureaucratic assistance, and not law enforcement.

But then issues like search, seizure and self-incrimination that can so easily trip up a citizen in a routine traffic stop are more likely to relate to potential criminal considerations. Not any civil violations.

Having that "wingman" to guide us through all the complexities of romance in an NT world is great, but having one to keep us out of trouble with the law is even better.

 

[RemyZee]

I love being around extroverts, NT or ND. They get to talk until they are blue in the face and i don't have to say a word. It's kind of one sided, but works out well.

 

[Judge]

I love being around extroverts, NT or ND. They get to talk until they are blue in the face and i don't have to say a word. It's kind of one sided, but works out well.

Good point. Socially speaking they end up doing all the "heavy lifting". Works for me!