A String of Unstable Neurons

[Running Girl]

Hi Devin, I too struggle with learning from my mistakes. I too tend to take them as evidence of intrinsic badness; evidence of my screwed-up-ness. I internalized a lot of what my parents had to say! I've been in and out of therapy. In it, currently. Did you know that the single biggest factor in whether therapy is going to be successful is whether or not the therapist likes you, and you like them? Go find a therapist you click with!

 

[Rectify]

Hi again Devin. I'm so glad you're finding the forum here to be helpful. I do too.

As a correction upon the comment I made of my father wasting the money I save, it was actually money HE saved.

This is still very disappointing for you but to know he didn't spend money YOU saved is..well...better at least.
It sounds like you're having trouble getting the support you need from your parents. That must make it hard.

This concerns me:

I also am hostile and violent towards those that anger me, and with little respect towards my family.

That is not okay. I don't know the full situation, whether its tied up in the lack of support you're getting or if the lack of support is worsened by your attitude. Again, I really feel you need to have someone to work out these issues with.

Therapy, btw, will be effective (to varying degrees) if you do the work. If you go expecting it not to work, or to work automagically, then you are wasting precious time.

I often feel as if my limitations and weaknesses drown out my strengths,

I feel for you. It's really hard to move forward sometimes :/ Keep searching for and developing those strengths though, Devin.