A realization.

[Mr. Stevens]

I have realized that I am disposable to all of my local RL friends. The only person I know locally who values having me around for a significant period of time is my boss, who wants me in the office all of the time to the point where she tells me she does not care if I have a doctor’s note, she expects me to work for her five days a week no matter what state I am in.

I just hung up on a sponsor who outright dismissed all of this as me merely “feeling sorry for myself”.

People suck. I am disposable to most people, an extremely low priority. I have to be my own top priority. I have to be my own best friend. Nobody else really cares if I live or if I die.

I hear you, man. When we "exist" for others can be very conditional. I think many of us care if you live or die, though. I know it's not the same as real life, but you contribute a lot here. And you just seem like a fun, interesting person.

 

[foliodoe]

Yeah, naturally, it is all my fault. You would get along with my mother.

Whoa, that's quite a leap you've made. I'm sorry you're struggling so much. It's hard finding good people, even harder developing connections, basically impossible to maintain them. I feel your pain.

Edit: I apologize for using a tone that was ambiguous in my initial reply. I was asking genuine questions, not trying to pummel you with rhetoric or guilt.

 

[Luca]

I’m disposable to almost everyone in my irl life too. This has been a pattern for basically my entire life.
It always makes me feel like I’m the problem.