A Little Jealousy/Rant

[Pats]

I know the youngest child does tend to be spoiled. I think it's more the case when that youngest child is born years later, 'unexpected blessing' and last chance at being a 'perfect parent', except what these particular parents don't realize is that they usually spoil the kids and become the worst of parents because they're not teaching the child self discipline, self control, how to work for things, appreciation, etc, etc.

I am the youngest of 4, but I do not fall into that spoiled child category - I was probably the most neglected. By age my oldest sister would have been 3 when I was born, brother 2 and other sister 1. My mom was a bit busy carrying buckets of water up from the creek to wash out diapers for however many were still in diapers. My dad was in the army. She was lucky that I sat in my crib and kept myself entertained. My oldest sister did more for me than my mom - I remember her reading to me and trying to teach me to write and color and all that stuff. Being the 4th child, all of us less than a year apart, and my mom kept a perfect house and good meals cooked - none of us could have possibly been spoiled, but rather sent outside to get out of her hair. lol Also being the youngest in those circumstances, I got hand me downs on everything. I was last to be allowed to do anything. I never got to choose first. I was bossed around by 3 older siblings. Possibly one reason I've never felt possessive over anything I own - my older siblings took what they wanted and I didn't mind.
I will say that as a teenager I got to do things earlier (like date), which the others didn't think it was fair - and it wasn't something I asked for and probably, no, definitely, should have been monitored more closely and strictly being unable to speak up for myself. Not knowing I was autistic, I should have been watched more closely but in stead was given more freedoms. I remember around 5 or 6 walking with my siblings to a store on busy roads about 3 miles away. I got to get paperdolls (29 cents I recall).

 

[Progster]

I am a middle child, and have a sister who is over 10 years younger than me. I think she was treated differently and got away with more, but as there was such an age gap and she was so different to me, wanted different things and had different priorities, I did not compare myself to her or envy anything she had or did... we never liked the same things or really had anything in common. She was the outgoing one, who always had loads of friends, who got involved with some people who were into drugs and then she started drinking a lot, smoking pot and had some mental health problems and problems with keeping employment. Fast forward 10 years, she now has a kid, steady job, is a teetotaller, never touches pot or alchohol.

 

[AuBurney Tuckerson]

I recognise the feelings you describe, but I've never felt them. I'm the eldest and there was a child born to the same parents after me. That child was spoiled in comparison. I was autistic and had my own concerns.
I went on to be employed my whole life, end up having a wonderful wife and do some interesting things that have left a mark on the world.
The other child was a spiteful, entitled, lazy (insert pejorative of choice) who never achieved anything in life and blames the rest of the world world for it.
Jealousy? Nah. Doesn't do you any good and just eats your soul from the inside out.

I'm not unsympathetic Auburney, I understand what you're feeling, but it won't do you any good. Let the younger sibling lead their life and you concentrate on yours. You're a grown woman! Concentrate on building your own life, a brighter future for YOU rather than making comparisons and feeling resentful.

But I don't have a job yet, and every other college student is living by themselves with a job.. I'm still loving with my mother.. I'm a loser compared to other students.

 

[Fino]

My three siblings always got significantly more attention because they demanded it. I've never demanded anything in my life.

 

[Dias]

I have two older sisters . My Mum died when I was 9 so I don't remember much, but I think her favourite daughter was the middle one. She is the most outgoing, with all the friends and all the attentions. More charismatic maybe? I was always silent and in my own world so maybe she was even frustrated by my lack of interaction and also did not know how to do it better. Our parents are still normal people with expectations, desires and needs like anyone else. They are not perfect like we like to imagine them to be. Anyway..I also never asked anything to myself so I was probably quite invisible and when we don't complain others just assume we are ok. We need to express our needs I guess.

 

[Mr Allen]

I have an older brother who lives in London, England.

I suppose in a way I am a little jealous of his success, he's in a good job, and is married with 2 kids.

And he did everything a guy his age is supposed to have done, school, College, Uni, met my sister in law at Uni, and now has 2 great kids.

 

[china autie]

My cousin lived with her mum until she was in her 40s. Does that make her a loser?

You aren't either. Being Autistic, an Aspie, spectral, on the spectrum... presents us with some extra hard work. It is not fair to you to compare yourself with others.

Write a list of 10 thinks you are better at now than you were 10 years ago if you want to.

I find that I can only compare myself to myself.

I like you and there is nothing I have read from you that says loser or waste or any other bad name.

Much respect to you and your struggles. I mean that.

 

[Mattymatt]

I'm jealous of my brother's ability to function in a neurotypical world. I'm just broken.