SchrodingersMeerkat
trash mammal
I have recently noticed that most of my obsessions are basically just bi products of older obsessions. For instance my longest running special interests, meerkats is basically just a bi product of my Lion King special interest. I became fascinated with Timon. I used to think it was because my older brother, whom I hero worshiped at the time liked him. I have pretended to be obsessed with certain things such as the Goosebumps books series because my mum always told me that if I was interested in the things other people were interested in, they would be interested in the things I was interested in. I found out the hard way that wasn't the least bit true.
I truly, truly loved Timon...to the point where I hero worshiped him. My Goosebumps obsession was fake, whereas my Timon obsession was real. My mum says I liked Timon so much because he was loud and quirky...just like me at the time and I had finally found someone I could relate with. When the Timon and Pumbaa cartoon came out, I REALLY related to Timon. The cartoon consisted of immature, pratfall humor, which I never found funny to begin with. Timon was being thrown into walls, squished, hit with baseball bats, and basically the brunt of everyone else's brutality.
I seriously suspect the reason we have so many people who think it's okay to abuse animals today is because of cartoons like this. A lot of people hate Timon now because of his cocky attitude in the cartoon and being a Timon fan will not make you popular in the Lion King fan community. I always thought Timon was so nasty in the cartoon as a result of being picked on all the time. When I was coming home from school with bruises from the other kids, I was starting to become quite nasty as well. Whereas I eventually retaliated and physically lashed out at my bullies to the point of being considered a bully myself, Timon just got nastier. I secretly wanted to see him just loose it and go postal on his bullies. I didn't know very much about meerkats back then, but I figured they didn't take lightly when they were tormented.
Anyway, I think my mom is right about me liking Timon so much because I could relate to him. When I got older, I began to write Lion King fan fics and wrote myself into them as an unbeatable heroine. Timon hero worshiped me because I protected him. Sure, I would probably come across as a "Mary Sue", but writing these fan fics was very therapeutic for me. I was always interested in meerkats when I learned they were a real species of animal but for a while, I was more interested in Timon. I am always told that I am living in a fantasy world, but when I was a kid, it was painfully true.
I had to have my special Timon and Pumbaa plushies written into my IEP because I could not function without them. My evil school bus driver tried to make me give them up forever and even stopped the school bus for over an hour in his vain attempt. He tried one last time to make me surrender when he stopped the bus in front of my house. As an adult, I would have told him to procreate with himself and possibly kicked him in the boys but I just screamed "NO!" at him. He got in HUGE trouble for that stunt when my mom called the school and told them what happened and how traumatized I was. It was like I was in fear for my children's lives.
My parents were always worried I would be carrying them around with me until I was fifteen and personally I don't see what's so wrong with that because I've never really outgrown the need for a transitional object...or creature. But anyway, that stunt of my stupid school bus driver stopped me from taking them everywhere with me. As I said, I couldn't really cope without them. My behavior problems at school got worse but no one was really able to see the connection. Everyone hated that driver and was trying for years to get him fired but he did seem to have a penchant for picking on the kids that had problems and couldn't really defend themselves.
I was paranoid he was going to break into our house and steal my plushies. I wonder if I also thought he would try and break into my mind because I somehow was able to convince myself that I had "outgrown" my plushies and Lion King. I think I had even convinced myself that it was "bad" to still like them. I was temporarily obsessed with Pepe Le Pew and skunks but I have to wonder if it is because Timon and Pepe Le Pew kind of share facial features. I was still made fun of for liking Pepe Le Pew and skunks but it was okay to like them because they weren't Lion King related. It's really hard for me to remember because I've tried so hard to block out that part of my life.
I didn't really get into Lion King again until after I was being homeschooled and was finally learning to be myself again. I was channel surfing and came across a Timon and Pumbaa episode. I watched it and remembered how much fun I had when I was obsessed with Lion King and Timon. I was still ashamed to admit it and was still convinced I hated it but that didn't last very long. My mom basically told me that people who were going to be mean about it could go jump in a lake. I talked and talked about meerkats, Timon and Lion King nonstop.
My mom says she always heard me talk about my special interests, but not as much as I did meerkats. I wonder if I was just making up for lost time. My mom tried and tried to make me "widen my horizons" and would tell me she needed to hear about something other than meerkats for so many minutes. It made me feel as if she didn't love me. About the same time, Montgomery Gentry had just released a song called "She couldn't change me". The verse: "She said I guess when you love someone you just gotta let it be" really stuck with me and I wished my mom could be like that...I prayed and prayed for my mum to accept me as O was and eventually she did. By then my mum realized that trying to change me was a futile attempt.
Anyway, it's been like ten years and meerkats are still my main special interest and my mom has finally let me be myself. There was a neighbor boy who was always mean about my meerkat and Lion King obsession and he sometimes made me cry. I eventually stopped hanging out with those people but my brother was still mean about it. I've practically disowned that brother if he really does want to sustain a relationship with me, he better start apologizing and being sincere. It wouldn't bother me if he never did and I seriously looking into disowning him legally.
I like meerkats more than I ever liked Timon and I don't think I will ever know why but I don't really care either but if someone asks me why I like them so much, I tell them, "Because that's how I roll!" if someone is mean about it, I usually give them the social finger and sever all ties with them. I will never let anyone take my special interest/obsession/passion from me ever again.
I truly, truly loved Timon...to the point where I hero worshiped him. My Goosebumps obsession was fake, whereas my Timon obsession was real. My mum says I liked Timon so much because he was loud and quirky...just like me at the time and I had finally found someone I could relate with. When the Timon and Pumbaa cartoon came out, I REALLY related to Timon. The cartoon consisted of immature, pratfall humor, which I never found funny to begin with. Timon was being thrown into walls, squished, hit with baseball bats, and basically the brunt of everyone else's brutality.
I seriously suspect the reason we have so many people who think it's okay to abuse animals today is because of cartoons like this. A lot of people hate Timon now because of his cocky attitude in the cartoon and being a Timon fan will not make you popular in the Lion King fan community. I always thought Timon was so nasty in the cartoon as a result of being picked on all the time. When I was coming home from school with bruises from the other kids, I was starting to become quite nasty as well. Whereas I eventually retaliated and physically lashed out at my bullies to the point of being considered a bully myself, Timon just got nastier. I secretly wanted to see him just loose it and go postal on his bullies. I didn't know very much about meerkats back then, but I figured they didn't take lightly when they were tormented.
Anyway, I think my mom is right about me liking Timon so much because I could relate to him. When I got older, I began to write Lion King fan fics and wrote myself into them as an unbeatable heroine. Timon hero worshiped me because I protected him. Sure, I would probably come across as a "Mary Sue", but writing these fan fics was very therapeutic for me. I was always interested in meerkats when I learned they were a real species of animal but for a while, I was more interested in Timon. I am always told that I am living in a fantasy world, but when I was a kid, it was painfully true.
I had to have my special Timon and Pumbaa plushies written into my IEP because I could not function without them. My evil school bus driver tried to make me give them up forever and even stopped the school bus for over an hour in his vain attempt. He tried one last time to make me surrender when he stopped the bus in front of my house. As an adult, I would have told him to procreate with himself and possibly kicked him in the boys but I just screamed "NO!" at him. He got in HUGE trouble for that stunt when my mom called the school and told them what happened and how traumatized I was. It was like I was in fear for my children's lives.
My parents were always worried I would be carrying them around with me until I was fifteen and personally I don't see what's so wrong with that because I've never really outgrown the need for a transitional object...or creature. But anyway, that stunt of my stupid school bus driver stopped me from taking them everywhere with me. As I said, I couldn't really cope without them. My behavior problems at school got worse but no one was really able to see the connection. Everyone hated that driver and was trying for years to get him fired but he did seem to have a penchant for picking on the kids that had problems and couldn't really defend themselves.
I was paranoid he was going to break into our house and steal my plushies. I wonder if I also thought he would try and break into my mind because I somehow was able to convince myself that I had "outgrown" my plushies and Lion King. I think I had even convinced myself that it was "bad" to still like them. I was temporarily obsessed with Pepe Le Pew and skunks but I have to wonder if it is because Timon and Pepe Le Pew kind of share facial features. I was still made fun of for liking Pepe Le Pew and skunks but it was okay to like them because they weren't Lion King related. It's really hard for me to remember because I've tried so hard to block out that part of my life.
I didn't really get into Lion King again until after I was being homeschooled and was finally learning to be myself again. I was channel surfing and came across a Timon and Pumbaa episode. I watched it and remembered how much fun I had when I was obsessed with Lion King and Timon. I was still ashamed to admit it and was still convinced I hated it but that didn't last very long. My mom basically told me that people who were going to be mean about it could go jump in a lake. I talked and talked about meerkats, Timon and Lion King nonstop.
My mom says she always heard me talk about my special interests, but not as much as I did meerkats. I wonder if I was just making up for lost time. My mom tried and tried to make me "widen my horizons" and would tell me she needed to hear about something other than meerkats for so many minutes. It made me feel as if she didn't love me. About the same time, Montgomery Gentry had just released a song called "She couldn't change me". The verse: "She said I guess when you love someone you just gotta let it be" really stuck with me and I wished my mom could be like that...I prayed and prayed for my mum to accept me as O was and eventually she did. By then my mum realized that trying to change me was a futile attempt.
Anyway, it's been like ten years and meerkats are still my main special interest and my mom has finally let me be myself. There was a neighbor boy who was always mean about my meerkat and Lion King obsession and he sometimes made me cry. I eventually stopped hanging out with those people but my brother was still mean about it. I've practically disowned that brother if he really does want to sustain a relationship with me, he better start apologizing and being sincere. It wouldn't bother me if he never did and I seriously looking into disowning him legally.
I like meerkats more than I ever liked Timon and I don't think I will ever know why but I don't really care either but if someone asks me why I like them so much, I tell them, "Because that's how I roll!" if someone is mean about it, I usually give them the social finger and sever all ties with them. I will never let anyone take my special interest/obsession/passion from me ever again.
