A good friend is now my "obsession". Help with a DM.

[AO1501]

If I got a DM from someone online listing a number of details they know about me which I hadn't specifically divulged myself, I'd be far more likely to call the police than to respond and converse with the sender. This is a very badly conceived idea, even if the motives are otherwise good. It is almost certainly going to ruin the potential for a friendship rather more than encourage it.

Far better to simply communicate the fact that his role and input in the group is greatly appreciated, and you respect his right to privacy, just in case your previous comment to him might lead him to suspect otherwise.

No harm in explaining briefly that being on the spectrum does cause some difficulty understanding boundaries sometimes, but you don't have any wish to disturb his participation in the group, particularly since you regard the group as friends.

Short, simple and avoiding any risk of escalating concern he might have. And, if done this way, still leaves the door open for him to communicate with you and feel safe in doing so.

 

[AspieGamer91]

Most people, generally speaking, are very aloof about small social misunderstandings because they happen so often. It's fairly easy for ND's to get caught up in trying to follow social rules even when they don't exist. Lol.

Considering they know about my ASD and issues with understanding jokes, I think they accept that I sometimes just say strange things. I've often heard the polite "uh-huh" and polite giggle when I was laughing at my own jokes. I am pretty sure they didn't understand it, but they're being polite and inclusive.

I know you think you've damaged something and want to do all you can to fix it, but this isn't like gluing a broken vase back together. It's more like healing a cut, where the less you bother it the faster it heals. Perhaps that's a bad way to put it but I hope you get my drift.

I didn't think of it like that. But it kinda makes sense, when you also think about how easy it is to forgive, but how long it can take to forget.


Again, I simply just cannot thank you all enough for taking your time and putting effort into your replies - regardless of the length. I really do appreciate it. I think you all just saved me from nuking my first and only circle of friends.