6 year old - is it Aspergers?

[S.wood1988]

Hi,
Totally new to this forum so bare with me whilst I figure out the logistics of it all! I hope Im posting this in the right place!
So, I have 4 children aged 6,3 and twin 11 month olds.
My 3 year old boy Evan has ASD and is currently going through the process of being diagnosed. Now. Lately my focus has been on him and making sure he gets the support he needs in place for school etc, but since reading up on autism in my new founded library for every book ever made on the subject (I went through a denial phase, so bought many books which confirmed my beliefs and helped me come to terms with it) I'm beginning to wonder if my older daughter Bella who's 6 has Aspergers.
The only thing that doesn't fit is she is sociable, but on her own terms. The other thing that doesn't fit is I've read that girls with Aspergers tend to have vivid imaginations, which she most definitely does not. She doesn't play with any toys unless a friend is here to help her.
She also does have friends, or says she does anyway, but not s best friend and never gets asked over anyone's house. Her only good friend is a boy.
I was wondering if I could have any experiences of similar and tell me if I'm being silly? Sometimes I feel like that over anxious Mum, but this time my feelings feel somewhat justified in being worried about her.
Many thanks I'm advance !

 

[Ylva]

When I was six, I admittedly never saw the point of toys, but I visualized every book I read with such "vividness" I completely forgot where I was.

When I was three, I made up imaginary friends by deciding to and then just forgot they weren't real… It didn't seem entirely relevant.

Her social life seems more indicative of AS.

 

[Harrison]

Hi and welcome to AC.

My daughters were similar at that age, however, ASD is a spectrum disorder and affects people in different ways. The only way to be sure is to go down the path of having her diagnosed too.

 

[S.wood1988]

Thank you so much for your replies, I wasn't sure if I would get any but I've no one to chat to about it all really!
From what I understand, every child with Aspergers or ASD is so different, and this is what confuses me I guess with Bella. She does tick most boxes for Aspergers but it's her social skills that make me feel I'm being OTT with it ! When friends come to play she will play, and ask for friends too but it generally as a rule is outside or playing something messy like arts and crafts which is her absolute favourite.

 

[Progster]

I wouldn't rule out AS, because sometimes girls don't develop many of the social difficulties until they hit puberty, and the focus of relationships with other kids changes from being based round games and activities to being more social in nature - that is when girls with ASD really start to struggle. This is one reason why many girsl with ASD aren't diagnosed until later in life.

 

[Harrison]

My girls had good social skills when they chose to do so. They could also completely cut someone out and have very selective conversations. My lads had no social skills to speak of although they did get better as they hit their teens. As adults my girls are still selective and can still ignore certain people in a room, bit like their dad

If the kids were involved in their special interests they would happily share space with others, but if their friends wanted to do something that didn't interest them they would just shut down.

 

[Joro23]

Apparently girls are a lot cleverer at hiding their aspie traits.

 

[Ylva]

Social skills aren't rocket science, especially with children that young. I didn't lose interest in people before I was eleven or twelve, because that's how long it took for enough people to have been awful to me. Also, for girls, once you hit puberty it's no longer enough to be cute to get adults to like you. Better to teach her how to cope beforehand.

 

[S.wood1988]

Her conversations do tend to start and end abruptly which I've started to notice more as she's getting older, she will randomly blurt out things when I'm chatting to someone else and you can see she doesn't understand that it's innappropriate. Like saying 'do you remember when we went to the park the other day? Well, I really liked that' I'll usually reply 'oh did you? That's lovely we can go again soon!' And she would say 'when can we go back? Can we go tomorrow? What time can will we go? Etc etc etc"
Can anyone recommend a good book for me to read on young Aspergers girls?

 

[Harrison]

You could check out our resource section, may be something there that takes your fancy.

 

[Karin]

My daughter, 11 years old, has been diagnosed PDD-NOS, which translates to something like 'mild autism that could have been Aspergers if it wasn't because of her good social skills and very delicate and emotional nature'

While she was being 'investigated' I look into Aspergers on my behalf too but while I come out as NT in all the test because of my social skills, I'm convinced I would come out with the same label as my daughter if I ever was diagnosed.

 

[S.wood1988]

I do wonder myself at times if I have Aspergers, I never did well with groups of friends. Much better one to one, I'm okay if they're people I've known for a long time but do dread new social situations! I had a vivid imagination as a child, played by myself a hell of a lot and enjoyed my own solitude! I occasionally feel lonely. But know I only have myself to blame! I struggle with eye contact too, and sometimes do lack empathy . Her dad definitely would have been diagnosed autistic as a child had it been better known about then, so poor kids didn't have a chance really bless them!!

 

[Karin]

It has felt like a mixture of Pandora's Box and the big AHA when I got started learning about the spectrum Four out of four fir this family...

 

[Datura]

Social skills aren't rocket science

No, rocket science is relatively simple.

I do wonder myself at times if I have Aspergers

I was wondering the same after reading your first post, based largely on your word choices and the apparent depth of your research into autism. Autistic traits do tend to run in families. Then again, perhaps my aspie-dar is just overactive.

 

[Ylva]

No, rocket science is relatively simple.

I thought it was mostly engineering.

At any rate, I was at first going to write "brain surgery", but the potential metaphorical accuracy was simply too much to bear.