36yr old and possible HFA

[Corc]

I feel embarassed trying to research autism in order to see if it explains problems throughout my life. My primary concern is to resolve social problems in order to improve my ability to meet people.

- I didnt speak until I was 5
- Enuresis till I was 12.
- Many moments of not recognizing non-verbal communication.
- Poor eye contact until my mid 20s
- My family complained to me as a child that I didnt express enough emotion
- My ex found my curiosity about social behavior to be odd. I would often ask her many questions about human behavior in specific scenarios
- I dont believe i learned to be comfortable expressing affection until my early 30s.

I am not officially diagnosed but IN CASE it turns out I have HFA id like to say that things can change with time. Im currently a professor.

 

[tree]

 

[Isadoorian]

Welcome to the forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process

 

[Nitro]

Hi Corc

 

[Pats]

You're not alone. Welcome to this forum.

 

[Tanyax]

Questions about ‘Problems throughout my life’ is the entire reason I’m on here. I hope you get some answers. You will most definitely get support and understanding. It’s hard isn’t it? Trying to figure out why we find things so difficult. I wish I could help. All I can do is offer support and and tell you that I know how difficult and frustrating and confusing it is. How much I long to be ‘normal ‘ and like everyone else. How hard it is to function around others in a world that just doesn’t seem to fit. The constant daily difficulties that others breeze through or even enjoy that I avoid. And how on earth to make a decent life out of that for myself. I am sure you will find a very positive experience here. Everyone is lovely and it’s a very safe space. X

 

[Fino]

"Poor eye contact until mid-20s"? Did the problem go completely way to the point where you didn't have to conscious think, "Okay, I gotta make eye-contact now... should I stop now...? what are they saying?" Or did you just get good at it?

 

[hannahhannah]

I feel embarassed trying to research autism in order to see if it explains problems throughout my life. My primary concern is to resolve social problems in order to improve my ability to meet people.

- I didnt speak until I was 5
- Enuresis till I was 12.
- Many moments of not recognizing non-verbal communication.
- Poor eye contact until my mid 20s
- My family complained to me as a child that I didnt express enough emotion
- My ex found my curiosity about social behavior to be odd. I would often ask her many questions about human behavior in specific scenarios
- I dont believe i learned to be comfortable expressing affection until my early 30s.

I am not officially diagnosed but IN CASE it turns out I have HFA id like to say that things can change with time. Im currently a professor.

Welcome, I'm pretty new here too I hope you will find some answers. However, have you done the AQ and/or Aspie quiz? Diagnostically speaking not many of the things you listed actually point towards HFA... But of course everybody on the spectrum is different...Maybe filling out some questionnaires would give you a point to start, in case you haven't yet.... PS: I don't mean to be rude. Just "trade disease" to look at things "scientifically"... oh, and don't be embarrassed!

 

[Corc]

Welcome, I'm pretty new here too I hope you will find some answers. However, have you done the AQ and/or Aspie quiz? Diagnostically speaking not many of the things you listed actually point towards HFA... But of course everybody on the spectrum is different...Maybe filling out some questionnaires would give you a point to start, in case you haven't yet.... PS: I don't mean to be rude. Just "trade disease" to look at things "scientifically"... oh, and don't be embarrassed!

I have taken some random quiz that says I am neurotypical. The reason I list those things is because I found articles suggesting there's a relationship to HFA. I'm skipped some details regarding obsessive qualities during my teens and early 20s. So I only list those qualities based on the articles I've read that suggest a relationship but of course it could turn out I am not on the spectrum.

A part of feels like, if this is possible, that I was more on the spectrum when I was younger but have learned to alter my behavior at my current age which makes it difficult to currently assess.

Part of the reason for my embarrassment is because I don't want it seem like I'm just paranoid about some common topic. In a sense I want to figure out why I've struggled understanding expressions of affection throughout my life and why people have criticized me for certain personality qualities. It could be that the problems I have may seem like they're on the spectrum but maybe they're not.

 

[Corc]

"Poor eye contact until mid-20s"? Did the problem go completely way to the point where you didn't have to conscious think, "Okay, I gotta make eye-contact now... should I stop now...? what are they saying?" Or did you just get good at it?

I practiced. At first I was just nervous and not sure how long to hold a gaze. I had to work through the embarrassment of screwing up. It was not overnight but I do not know how long it took to get "good" at it. However I decided to make this change once I read in a book that eye contact was important. I didn't quite realize eye contact was important. I was about 25 years old.

 

[hannahhannah]

I have taken some random quiz that says I am neurotypical. The reason I list those things is because I found articles suggesting there's a relationship to HFA. I'm skipped some details regarding obsessive qualities during my teens and early 20s. So I only list those qualities based on the articles I've read that suggest a relationship but of course it could turn out I am not on the spectrum.

A part of feels like, if this is possible, that I was more on the spectrum when I was younger but have learned to alter my behavior at my current age which makes it difficult to currently assess.

Part of the reason for my embarrassment is because I don't want it seem like I'm just paranoid about some common topic. In a sense I want to figure out why I've struggled understanding expressions of affection throughout my life and why people have criticized me for certain personality qualities. It could be that the problems I have may seem like they're on the spectrum but maybe they're not.

Hi, i totally understand the fear of being paranoid Anyways, have you looked into other disorders? I mean I don't know as much about those as i do about ASD but maybe it's worth looking into PDD-NOS or social communication disorder, etc. (the first has been integrated into ASD in the DSM-5, the latter is new in the DSM-5) Late speech acquisition is actually rather untypical for high functioning Autism/Asperger's. It's commonly said that the opposite is the case... The rest does appear in autism, I've never read about enuresis being correlation to ASD but I don't know everything. Concerning the rest, if it just "went away" it's not that likely that it's autism i think since it's a pretty steady "disorder"... as i said, there's lot of diversity, but there are also tons of other developmental disorders that are probably worth looking into. Since you're a professor you probably have access to many databases. Maybe it's worth checking the DSM? In addition to all that, is has been shown that the 3 major "deficits" in ASD are independent from each other genetically speaking. So it is possible to just have one ASD typical "deficit".... (Sorry if i sound like miss smarty pants I'm professionally involved in the subject in a addition to being affected...)

 

[Corc]

Hi, i totally understand the fear of being paranoid Anyways, have you looked into other disorders? I mean I don't know as much about those as i do about ASD but maybe it's worth looking into PDD-NOS or social communication disorder, etc. (the first has been integrated into ASD in the DSM-5, the latter is new in the DSM-5) Late speech acquisition is actually rather untypical for high functioning Autism/Asperger's. It's commonly said that the opposite is the case... The rest does appear in autism, I've never read about enuresis being correlation to ASD but I don't know everything. Concerning the rest, if it just "went away" it's not that likely that it's autism i think since it's a pretty steady "disorder"... as i said, there's lot of diversity, but there are also tons of other developmental disorders that are probably worth looking into. Since you're a professor you probably have access to many databases. Maybe it's worth checking the DSM? In addition to all that, is has been shown that the 3 major "deficits" in ASD are independent from each other genetically speaking. So it is possible to just have one ASD typical "deficit".... (Sorry if i sound like miss smarty pants I'm professionally involved in the subject in a addition to being affected...)

Yeah, I can research it more. I do have that access. Regarding things that "went away", that aspect has been vague to me and I mostly just wonder if I have developed a learned behavior to confront it. For example I learned to hug people when engaged in some greetings and I feel like I memorized that, only several years ago.

However yes, I can do more research. Your suggestion that late speech is not typical is rather surprising because most of what I've read suggests it is typical but I have not read the medical journals yet.

 

[hannahhannah]

Yeah, I can research it more. I do have that access. Regarding things that "went away", that aspect has been vague to me and I mostly just wonder if I have developed a learned behavior to confront it. For example I learned to hug people when engaged in some greetings and I feel like I memorized that, only several years ago.

However yes, I can do more research. Your suggestion that late speech is not typical is rather surprising because most of what I've read suggests it is typical but I have not read the medical journals yet.

Some things can of course get better through the learning of more adaptive behaviors.... Anyways, I have looked up PDD-NOS. That might be worth looking into. It is considered an ASD nowadays. Personally Think it should still be a separate diagnosis (the same goes for Asperger's in my opinion) but I don't have a say in the writing of the DSM
Actually speech acquisition isn't even a diagnostic criteria anymore as it doesn't always occur and when it does, it is way more common in low functioning autism. It is, however, typical for PDD-NOS...

 

[Corc]

Some things can of course get better through the learning of more adaptive behaviors.... Anyways, I have looked up PDD-NOS. That might be worth looking into. It is considered an ASD nowadays. Personally Think it should still be a separate diagnosis (the same goes for Asperger's in my opinion) but I don't have a say in the writing of the DSM
Actually speech acquisition isn't even a diagnostic criteria anymore as it doesn't always occur and when it does, it is way more common in low functioning autism. It is, however, typical for PDD-NOS...

Thanks for that input. I came across some new fascinating theories on this topic recently as well. Increasingly it seems like diagnosis is like trying to hold on to water. In many ways I'm trying to understand my identity so that I can build better relationships with people. Some of my behavior in the past has really bothered people and I wish they were more patient with me.

 

[Tom]

I can understand a person having difficulty accepting that they are on the spectrum. But really, it is just another aspect of reality. There, whether you accept it or not. If it is there, then it is best come to terms with.

 

[Corc]

I can understand a person having difficulty accepting that they are on the spectrum. But really, it is just another aspect of reality. There, whether you accept it or not. If it is there, then it is best come to terms with.

I'm willing to accept it but it just seems very confusing to me. I actually fear not being diagnosed because I fear that means by behaviour and past struggles will be viewed with more scrutiny.