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(30M) I'm relatively ugly and I'd like some advice

Jonn said:
I recently heard of a subculture that has an obsession with maximising looks: Looksmaxxing
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Everything is maxxing something...
Gymmaxxing, Stylemaxxing, Smellmaxxing?!

Hardmaxxing is the practice of using cosmetic surgery to improve your chances of getting a date.

I feel it's ripe for a Louis Theroux documentary, where he gets immersed in the culture, eventually getting Looksmaxxed himself!
 
This has got to be ragebait.

Why would your nose and mouth be too big? You are a nice looking young man. No one would think you were unattractive. Unless you were talking to racist fart knockers.

Or you're a bully trying to get someone to say something racist or you are bullying someone using someone else's photo and you want to show the comments to them.

I suspect foul play.

Then again, after decades of bullying and abuse, to this day I feel horribly ugly and disfigured. Like I truly believe that people grimace and turn away from my face the first chance they get. And I'm hoping with all my heart that it is pathology from abuse leading me to believe such. So maybe you're in my boat. Or you're just rage baiting.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
This has got to be ragebait.

Why would your nose and mouth be too big? You are a nice looking young man. No one would think you were unattractive. Unless you were talking to racist fart knockers.

Or you're a bully trying to get someone to say something racist or you are bullying someone using someone else's photo and you want to show the comments to them.

I suspect foul play.

Then again, after decades of bullying and abuse, to this day I feel horribly ugly and disfigured. Like I truly believe that people grimace and turn away from my face the first chance they get. And I'm hoping with all my heart that it is pathology from abuse leading me to believe such. So maybe you're in my boat. Or you're just rage baiting.
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I seriously doubt he's ragebaiting or there's any foul play.

People tend to not be very objective when evaluating their own physical attractiveness. Opinions about how physically attractive oneself is tend to be derived mainly through how they think others perceive them. If OP has seldom experienced romantic interest or romantic success, it would be natural for him to question whether his appearance is a reason for that. Then when he interacts with a looksmaxxing forum who are overly harsh in the way they judge appearance, the negative feedback reinforces the perception that there might be something wrong with his appearance.

In truth, the most attractive person in the world would probably doubt their own physical appeal if the feedback they got from the world suggested that no one found them physically attractive.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
This has got to be ragebait.

Why would your nose and mouth be too big? You are a nice looking young man. No one would think you were unattractive. Unless you were talking to racist fart knockers.

Or you're a bully trying to get someone to say something racist or you are bullying someone using someone else's photo and you want to show the comments to them.

I suspect foul play.
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No, it's really me, it's not at all in my nature to provoke people for no reason.

It's very simple: I'm someone who's never been very confident in my appearance, so I discussed it with people around me. They advised me to try "lookmaxing," and so I decided to register on a lookmaxing forum to give improvement tips. They told me it was over because my nose and lips are too big and that I would have to get surgery.
 
Jonn said:
Trust takes time because of the frequency of trolls on the internet.
May I suggest you take another photo of yourself showing 4 fingers? ;)
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You have been verified by The Jonn.
Please pick up your Autism Forum Membership Card at the Foyer.
Welcome, pilgrim. 👍

 
Lookmaxxing is not for a normal looking attractive guy like you. I hope you're no longer on those sites, because they probably just tell everyone that joins that they're ugly and need lookmaxxing.
 
Fabrice1 said:
1,78
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Definitely not over for you.
I think work on your fashion.

Honestly, a lot of people on those forums aren't malicious for no reason. Most are genuine, trying to help out, because of the increased standards for men nowadays. You probably would have better success with those surgeries. A lot of people are out of touch with what dating is like for men like us. Listen to people like you and have been in your position.
 
Zain said:
Definitely not over for you.
I think work on your fashion.

Honestly, a lot of people on those forums aren't malicious for no reason. Most are genuine, trying to help out, because of the increased standards for men nowadays. You probably would have better success with those surgeries. A lot of people are out of touch with what dating is like for men like us. Listen to people like you and have been in your position.
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^^^
Just ignore anything this guy posts. Forum troll. All he does is undermine others and cut them down in little ways.
 
Late to the party here. Typically I dont comment on a forum like this but I couldn't remain silent.

People tare down what they view as a "threat". The unfortunate thing is in the process it has taken a toll on your self esteem. In actuality these people are projecting their insecurities on you. Out of jealousy and envy of someone.

As many would agree the most "attractive" friend or partner is one that loves themself. If I were you I would continue to practice self love. Speaking out the very things those people said they hate saying "I love.... about my self" so your brain rewires pathways.

You are going to win in this scenario not the sad little bullies.
 
scleod said:
Late to the party here. Typically I dont comment on a forum like this but I couldn't remain silent.

People tare down what they view as a "threat". The unfortunate thing is in the process it has taken a toll on your self esteem. In actuality these people are projecting their insecurities on you. Out of jealousy and envy of someone.

As many would agree the most "attractive" friend or partner is one that loves themself. If I were you I would continue to practice self love. Speaking out the very things those people said they hate saying "I love.... about my self" so your brain rewires pathways.

You are going to win in this scenario not the sad little bullies.
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Thank you for the advice
 
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