p3rverseimp
New Member
Hi guys,
I’ll try my best to keep this as short as possible. In August, I started dating an aspie guy who I really liked (let’s call him Joe). He was very forthright with his feelings for me; however, he has issues with drink. I told him I didn’t know whether I could handle that because I have my own issues with anxiety and depression. He told I should date other people and I shouldn’t restrict myself to him because he has issues he needs to work through. So I began dating someone else, however myself and Joe kept on seeing one another and sleeping together and both admitted our relationship wasn’t totally platonic. I was quite open with Joe about things with the other guy because I wanted to keep everything as honest between us as possible.
Fast forward to January. I ended up telling Joe how I had strong feelings for him and I was confused by our relationship. He lost his temper with me and said I broke his heart when I started dating other people and though he still liked me he wouldn’t go down the romantic road with me again because it took a lot to get over me. I was confused because he’d been on dates with other people himself (although admittedly they were one offs) and he never told me how badly it was affecting him. He said he preferred us as friends but still liked me. I said I didn’t think I could have a friendship with him immediately, so told him not to contact me for a while. Then about 3 weeks ago he got back in touch with me, acting all casual like we’re old chums. We met up and he told me about a date he’d had. But then he ended up kissing me when he was drunk and telling me the same stuff as before- how he has feelings for me and doesn’t want to be a negative influence in my life, and how gutted he was when we stopped speaking. I know I’m dumb for meeting up with him.
This is extremely confusing for me. When he’s sober he seems almost disinterested in me romantically but sometimes I’ll notice things that say otherwise. Then when he’s drunk he’s very intense with me and it really messes with my head. He’s barely spoken to me since I last saw him which was 2, almost 3 weeks ago. If he does it’s just general chatter about people we know and he never brings up the more serious things we’ve spoken about. It’s making it very hard for me to move on. I deleted his number but he still has mine so can contact me and seems to think a friendship is no problem.
Can anyone shed some light on this? He suffers badly from anxiety because of AS and part of me thinks what he says when he’s drunk is what he really thinks. Then the other half tells me I’m being played. I do know I’m not totally innocent in all of this though and could have handled a lot of stuff better. Either way, I know it won’t lead anywhere positive, but it still plays on my mind. Thoughts would be much appreciated.
I’ll try my best to keep this as short as possible. In August, I started dating an aspie guy who I really liked (let’s call him Joe). He was very forthright with his feelings for me; however, he has issues with drink. I told him I didn’t know whether I could handle that because I have my own issues with anxiety and depression. He told I should date other people and I shouldn’t restrict myself to him because he has issues he needs to work through. So I began dating someone else, however myself and Joe kept on seeing one another and sleeping together and both admitted our relationship wasn’t totally platonic. I was quite open with Joe about things with the other guy because I wanted to keep everything as honest between us as possible.
Fast forward to January. I ended up telling Joe how I had strong feelings for him and I was confused by our relationship. He lost his temper with me and said I broke his heart when I started dating other people and though he still liked me he wouldn’t go down the romantic road with me again because it took a lot to get over me. I was confused because he’d been on dates with other people himself (although admittedly they were one offs) and he never told me how badly it was affecting him. He said he preferred us as friends but still liked me. I said I didn’t think I could have a friendship with him immediately, so told him not to contact me for a while. Then about 3 weeks ago he got back in touch with me, acting all casual like we’re old chums. We met up and he told me about a date he’d had. But then he ended up kissing me when he was drunk and telling me the same stuff as before- how he has feelings for me and doesn’t want to be a negative influence in my life, and how gutted he was when we stopped speaking. I know I’m dumb for meeting up with him.
This is extremely confusing for me. When he’s sober he seems almost disinterested in me romantically but sometimes I’ll notice things that say otherwise. Then when he’s drunk he’s very intense with me and it really messes with my head. He’s barely spoken to me since I last saw him which was 2, almost 3 weeks ago. If he does it’s just general chatter about people we know and he never brings up the more serious things we’ve spoken about. It’s making it very hard for me to move on. I deleted his number but he still has mine so can contact me and seems to think a friendship is no problem.
Can anyone shed some light on this? He suffers badly from anxiety because of AS and part of me thinks what he says when he’s drunk is what he really thinks. Then the other half tells me I’m being played. I do know I’m not totally innocent in all of this though and could have handled a lot of stuff better. Either way, I know it won’t lead anywhere positive, but it still plays on my mind. Thoughts would be much appreciated.
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