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Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

V.I.P Member
Single Aspie RSD NEET 48 From Brooklyn, NY
Joined
Last seen
Viewing thread Meetup.com needs to be banned.
Messages
2,702
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Profile posts Latest activity Postings About

  • Tony Ramirez
    It's going to be approaching 6 1/2 years now, I wasted my life putting myself out there.

    Still no real friends just acquaintances, no girlfriend, hell still not even a platonic female friend, uneducated, unemployed and still living with my parents.
    Tony Ramirez
    I hate the word friend. Don't put boy or girl next to it. I'll piss in your face.
    View previous comments…
    T
    thejuice
    Have you ever tried writing your feelings of frustration out but not clicking send? @Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I will record them to my self
    T
    thejuice
    Like dictation? that's a fantastic idea. If you want, you might consider deleting it once youve listened back. Validate your frustration in the moment, and then delete it. It means you won't drown yourself in a powerful wash of inescapable negativity, which is what happens with public forum outbursts here. Youre plunging downwards, but you need not tie weights to your ankles.
    Tony Ramirez
    I hate my life. I just thought compared and realized that I actually have no friends. Never did.
    View previous comments…
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I only have one very true friend. It's very hard to find true friends because there are so many parameters and check boxes that you need to meet. So friendship is actually very difficult. You sorta have to have similar core values, similar interests, and trust and respect. Friendship is actual very difficult. l can say once you have a true friend, you just know it.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    And it helps if your friend is nerodiverse, l hope l spelled that right. l have zero NT friends. Even my best bosses were ND. My daughter is ND, my partner is probably ND. Maybe you are trying to be friends with NT and not ND.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    You need to look for the shy types, the types that don't hang in big groups. We are hard to meet because we are introverted.
    Tony Ramirez
    I finally uninstalled the damn meetup app. I already purged before half of the groups that were triggering hot messes but to purge all, only one would actually remain. I will stick with the website. No more 50 billion notifications daily.
    Tony Ramirez
    I want to end my life again.
    View previous comments…
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    That's rude. Maybe they are gaslighting you there. Like they band up together and act rude. Sometimes cliques are involved in illegal things, like drug dealing, that's a clique of people. There is a lot bullying type of behavior these days among young adults, l say find a new place, don't take this personally. You got this, l believe in you Tony.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Thanks. Or I will head home then come back, even if it means just staying home an hour or two so I can return to the 40th street church later. I do have a reduce fair OMNY card that my parents pay for.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Most likely my RSD messing with my head now that I thought it over I actually never said anything to the young woman.
    Tony Ramirez
    Small and big cafés and parks need to burn to the ground. Forever bodega and local neighbor volunteer gardens parks.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Sorry to read something triggered you today. People can be jerks, l witness this in my own town. l try to keep an open mind, but it seems people are turning into jerks everywhere .
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    If you ever come to NYC avoid Bryant Park alone, especially if you are a guy which you are not. They treat solo, single people like crap. But if you are with someone, especially with the opposite sex or your girlfriend's then you are noticed and welcomed.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    That's definitely weird. They treat older women horrible in FL. You are better off being a single older guy here. l actually met my half sister in New York. They invited me to move there, but NY was to overwhelming for me.
    Tony Ramirez
    I hate happy people especially couples
    Rocco
    Rocco
    That is a strong feeling. Are you confusing jealousy/envy for hatred? What did these random couples do to inspire such strong emotions in you? Is it simply their existence? Is it their happiness with each other?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Blame Byrant Park and Roots Cafe. They were stopping grounds to my other small church and my garden volunteer group both great but the stopping grounds are miserable. But otherwise I have to wander the streets for hours.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I need a new hangout places that are not triggering.
    Tony Ramirez
    My meltdowns are coming back.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    well unfortuneately if this keeps happening, don't be surprised if you end up in legal trouble or get sent to the asylum or mental institution
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    What part of no one cares don't you get
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    let me guess, you think its impossible for you to get arrested because you are invisible and nobody cares about you?
    Tony Ramirez
    I actually hate social group walks. Hearing about people jobs, relationship and great college life's. I now realize it's a major trigger and like solo walking all along.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    You are identifying your triggers. l have some triggers that really set me back. The aftermath is improving for me. Great news Tony.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    well its good you are ID'ing those trigger for your nervous/mental breakdowns
    Tony Ramirez
    I'm taking it slow here. Trying not to post so much negative stuff. Thanks to my pastor forgiving and friends when I don't deserve, I have been more positive around people, and it's making a difference. Also, the meds and therapy is working better.
    View previous comments…
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Continue kindness to people I brutally treated badly, so badly they would have left me. My therapist all along was doing CBT therapy. Those two things really woke me up.
    T
    thejuice
    CBT is great
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    It's not to say you might never have a negative thought , it's just catching it, and you acknowledge that feeling (s), and then let go of those thoughts.
    Tony Ramirez
    There is only one woman I connect to, I can basically talk to for what seems like forever. I am pretty sure she is on the spectrum. Problem is, according to my detractors here, I can't even look at her because she is half my age. But others can have intergenerational friendships.
    View previous comments…
    T
    thejuice
    As you know treating people badly tends to make you feel bad too. Focus on those who matter, leave the detractors choking on your exhaust fumes.
    S
    Steelbookcollector217
    so it looks like she understands you better than previous people did
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Maybe ice cold women have horrible lives, debilitating health, maybe hate men or people in general, maybe have trauma from abuse from family members, past friends. Like you taking this personally is faulty thinking. When people act snotty to me, l just think l am someone they don't like , AND that's okay. My self-worth isn't dependent on complete strangers. You got this.
    Tony Ramirez
    Everyone but one person hates me on this forum.
    View previous comments…
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Nobody here hates you. You hate yourself and you are projecting that upon us, which I think is unfair. We do not want to see you self destruct or end up in prison. We give a damn about your well being, why can’t you give a damn about your own well being for once?
    oregano
    oregano

    Gloom despair and agony on me...
    M
    Matthias
    I think people posting stuff you don't want to hear triggers painful emotions, which then affects your thinking and leads you to believe people hate you. If these emotions weren't affecting your thoughts, I don't think you would feel like anyone here hates you.
    Tony Ramirez
    Okay so I took care of the garden thing I am going to start basic volunteer. I was calm. Also nearly lost it at Bryant Park but it was in my head my RSD the women worker I thought hated me in the phone when I came back felt sorry when I felt ignored at the game table. The guy said thanks I will take care with the art supplies.
    Tony Ramirez
    Daily public meltdowns are a normal occurrence in my life now.
    View previous comments…
    T
    thejuice
    We're never gonna measure up to life's high achieving, goody two shoes.
    All we need is purpose, not a fancy degree, job or social standing.
    Do you have a fear of failure?
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    Yes and compare myself to others
    T
    thejuice
    Giving up before you begin seems logical when you have a hang up about failure from past experience. If you can believe thats it's better to try and fail then not to try at all, you will find it easier to stick with things. I'm glad to hear you followed up the garden ppl
    Tony Ramirez
    I question if women truly really hate me. Today was a mixed bag, but really it was mostly good if they know me or there is a guider there. If not, then hell yes, they hate me. I'm so confused, I am losing sleep and weight over it.
    View previous comments…
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    you haven't tried therapy, you quit too soon. meds may help with obsessive thoughts. these are obsessive, they have completely taken over your thinking. you truly need help to battle faulty thinking. You aren't other men, you are Tony. Some men can get any women to talk to them, they have confidence, maybe are better looking , whatever the reason is.
    Tony Ramirez
    Tony Ramirez
    I still have a therapist. Ugly men all over NYC talk to pretty attractive women and are friends with them. Annoying.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Maybe you think they are unattractive, but maybe they have conversation skills, they talk about their job, they talk about their interests, they have things to talk about to other people. That's why working is great for building your confidence.
    Tony Ramirez
    Touch grass, get a haircut, get a hobby, go to the gym, do activities, try social clubs, treat yourself, useless advice that gave me RSD. Screw everyone who recommended it.
    View previous comments…
    T
    thejuice
    Oh I see below. Sorry I let you down.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Nobody truly knows what will help you. We show support by trying to offer ideas, but we can be just as lost as you to know what will work.
    Rodafina
    Rodafina
    Tony,
    You dared to hope (just like Carrie did), but it didn't fix things right away and now you are angry with those who encouraged you.

    You could try to think about people who give advice as people who care about you and are not ostracizing you. A good thing.
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