Just got home from the show. This was the main attraction, a local band named Floater. They put on an amazing show. I did see a couple of drunks get violently escorted out by security, but outside of that it was a chill crowd.
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Seeing live music tonight. This is the opening band.
I painted targets all over myself and then I acted like a victim when cruel people shot at those targets. I am the only one to blame here.
I need to respect my own boundaries and not let others feed me guilt to put those personal boundaries down for their convenience and pleasure.
Tonight is tacos and horror movies for me.
Having a drink now would be like flirting with death. Sounds appealing but I really do not need to go down that road.
I have to accept that I really have no reasons to hate myself.
I feel like crawling into my couch in front of my TV and playing ESO for hours on end. I probably should hit the gym before I start doing that, though.
Getting Jack in the Box, the breakfast of champions.
I am grateful that I can enjoy a weekend now without turning to beer.
I threw up several times this morning. Now my throat feels raw and sore. I don’t like this at all.
I need help pulling myself together this morning.
I feel my loss hitting me hard tonight. I will never see my friend again. And it is his own fault.
Staying up late listening to Queen on vinyl when I have to be at work in the morning. I wish I had some Mary Jane. Or some bourbon. I need neither of those things, though.
Suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness and being a bloody coward. I thought about it myself many times, I understand the appeal, but for most people it is a bloody waste and an act of selfishness.
One of my friends died of suicide a couple of months ago. I hate that he did that. I understand he was in a lot of mental health pain and I regret I could not help him more. I wish he was still by my side watching Ghibli movies today. -
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