I have lived through the kind of hell that many people choose not to believe. My addiction to external validation does not help. I know what really happened.
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So, yesterday I fought off a full blown meltdown and I somewhat succeeded, even though I was super whiny here the whole time.
I think I will visit the gym before I go home today. I am feeling way beyond stressed out, so maybe an hour of cardio followed with 15 minutes in a sauna will help.
I should have never been born to begin with. My existence is a sick joke.
My life is worth nothing.
I want to fall asleep and stay asleep.
So many people locally want me to commit suicide. Seriously.
I am ready to throw in the towel in my life.
I am thinking of quitting my job this very second, just because the local bus system has repeatedly proven itself to be extremely unreliable countless times.
I feel like going home, crawling into my bed and crying for a couple of hours, and there is no real reason for me to feel that way. I had a brilliant weekend, after all.
Making dirty rice for dinner tonight.
$680 raised for Seattle Children’s Hospital this year at the end of the fundraiser. This is my second best year to date.
Played Gears of War 3, Omori, and Destiny 2 during my fundraiser. Raised $630 altogether for the sick kids who need it. I am content.
$630 raised so far. Woohoo!
I am finding that CBD helps me quite a bit with my lower back pain. Doesn’t get me high, either, which is another plus.
I have to see this movie.
I wish I had more money than the top 0.1% combined. Then I would donate it all to make the world a better place and still have enough to have my own palace with happy overpaid servants catering to my every whim.
I got drenched in the rain on the way to work today. This is something I have to get used to once again. At least my rain jacket keeps my top half dry. I need to buy some rain coverings for my pants. Stupid Western WA weather.
Pork chops, Brussels sprouts and yellow rice for dinner tonight. -
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