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Misery

Misery

V.I.P Member
Amalga Heart 44 From Big stupid hole in the ground (Illinois)
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  • Misery
    So, new approach to my father's situation. My stepmother asked me to now specifically try to keep him busy (but not go overboard)... after all, sitting in his chair by the TV may not be "stressful", but it's also definitely not healthy to do all the time. Not exactly helping his situation. Trouble is coming up with stuff to do (aside from playing chess as I've already mentioned). Hmmmmmmmm. Gotta ponder that.
    Misery
    Ya know, something that really sucks is getting mentally stuck on the same accursed topic and being unable to just stop constantly focusing on it. Going through that a lot lately. It's hard to not feel overwhelmed by... you know, that realization. But even when feeling that pressure... ya gotta keep charging forward anyway. If anyone else is having a rough time like that... well, if I can keep going, so can you.
    Lou Laurinen
    Lou Laurinen
    I'm in the same situation right now. I want to give up. But I don't think I will give up that easily.
    Misery
    PatternFill2Finished.webp


    Made this today. I'm not quite sure what it is, but it took forever to do it. As a fractal it's a very interesting shape, I can dive the camera deeper into it later and see what else I might find.
    Misery
    So, today I went and changed my profile on here so my gender is listed as female, and then over on Steam I changed my listed name on my profile there to Sophie (listed name isnt the same as display name, you can only see it in the profile page). Yeah... very small steps that pretty much nobody will notice unless I tell them, but... it's something, at least. Ya gotta keep taking steps if you're gonna get anywhere...
    Misery
    New, dumber update: entire house is flickering, and I’m carrying my lantern around. wind storm and I live in an area where the power goes out if someone looks at a power pole too hard. Just to give an idea of how often this happens, i always keep the lantern close by even on normal days. PC off and unplugged for now until the flickering stops.
    View previous comments…
    1ForAll
    1ForAll
    Some of your wind then should be to our place by 8pm. So, will head out to get some flashlights. Will tell the kids its Halloween if the lights go out, as they missed the actual holiday. So, thanks for the weather update!
    Misery
    Misery
    Yeah, wind seems pretty much gone from here now. Hopefully it wont be too bad when it gets to you.
    1ForAll
    1ForAll
    It's just about 22 mph now. Gusts seem like about 40 though, as a couple of branches and many leaves are flying all over. It won't get worse than this though. At midnight supposed to subside. Was rain last day or so prior to the wind coming an hour ago.
    Misery
    Well, new PC active, nothing's on fire yet. Almost done with setup... internet is on, my usual keyboard & weird mouse are active, the PC glows with the force of a thousand stars... apparently every conceivable part inside needs to glow. Sure is colorful... but next is the Steam & VR setups, the most irritating part, yay.
    View previous comments…
    Misery
    Misery
    Generally I'm a bit nearsighted. I can see a difference if I'm wearing my glasses but I only wear them sometimes (depends on what I'm doing). The VR though (index), THAT is what I'm super picky about. And framerate of stuff in general, when gaming. Also my fractal stuffs, those brought the previous PC to its knees, I'm curious how this one will do with them.
    Misery
    Misery
    Now as for the RGB stuff mentioned, good grief there's all sorts of screwball controls here. The RAM is glowing, that's... that's a thing apparently. At least I think that's what those are.
    Judge
    Judge
    If you want a bonfire you'll need to upgrade your video card to an Nvidia RTX 4090. :eek:


    You should be fine with an Nvidia "30" series card. ;)
    Misery
    Well, the PC finally showed up at the store. Picking it up early tomorrow. There will be many things to do, but I should have full online functionality (as in, without having to give the machine frequent "rest" periods) and VR before the day is up. So that's good. Also looking forward to seeing how my fractal programs perform on it.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    I hope it works out for you. You can then get Xbox Game Pass for PC first thing tomorrow morning and spend 24 hours playing through Gears of War with me to help the sick children. This is me being persuasive.
    Misery
    Misery
    I actually didnt even know the game pass was even a thing on PC. I thought that was just on the XBox? How does that even work? Currently the main platforms/stores I'm aware of are Steam, Epic, Itch, GOG, and... er... yeah mostly those.
    Misery
    Well, I think I found the source of the PC troubles: the fan/vent areas, whatever: caked almost solid with what I assume is sentient dust by this point (very hard to visually notice with the weird lighting in this room and the angle the machine is at). Oooookay. I know what my task for the day is, then... bah. In other news, Best Buy still sucks. New machine was supposed to get here 2 days ago.
    Raggamuffin
    Raggamuffin
    Dust and heat are technology killers. I squirm when I see people using laptops on duvets without propping it up on a hard surface like a book. Suffocating the air vents and essentially cooking the laptop alive.
    maycontainthunder
    maycontainthunder
    I see companies selling cans of air... I think they're taking the pee quite honestly. If you can buy a compressor and a couple of airline accessories you can use it for your vehicle tyres too. Oh, you'll need a mask of you'll be sneezing a lot! This is an outside task though. Remember to put a finger on the stationary fan blades or they spin faster than they are meant to.
    Misery
    Misery
    Yeah, a proper mask is a must have before I can do any of this. I'm allergic to dust.
    Misery
    Stupid Best Buy being stupid Best Buy. Cant they just be anything else? Hate that store. I miss the Fry's, they werent terrible. That is all, you can all go back to your homes now, nothing more to see here.
    Judge
    Judge
    What happened? TBH, these days I don't see any one electronics retailer (online or brick and mortar) standing out in the crowd. That most of them have let me down at one time or another. Frustrating, but it happens.
    Misery
    Misery
    Dont know yet. Just "delayed". After all day of them saying "it's in progress! We'll call you when it's finished!" I have no idea what exactly is in progress (do they do some sort of setup with it before handing it out?) but... yeah. All I know is that the thing is there, it arrived, but it's not "ready" yet.
    Misery
    Well, new PC likely arrives tomorrow. About bloody time. Also: Factorio on the Nintendo Switch. I have not done a single other thing since it showed up a couple of days ago. Anyone who has ever played it knows why. So, definitely plenty to do over these next few days... Helps my mood, it does.
    Crabcore
    Crabcore
    I picked this up on release day, too! How are you adjusting to the controls?
    Misery
    Misery
    Honestly I've had little trouble with it. I'm used to super weird control schemes in games as I've often had to use controllers with games that dont support them, emulating the mouse & keyboard that way.
    Misery
    New PC arrives the day after tomorrow. Will be very glad for that, this one being unable to do much of anything is driving me crazy. Not helping my already unstable mood one bit.
    Misery
    Update: so, father got back from the doc. New treatment plan. A total nightmare. Both my father and stepmother must endure 72 hours of doing the eyedrops every. 30. Minutes. And yes, that means all night. For each day. It sounds like torture. No more than a 25 minute nap at one time, period. I just... ugh.
    View previous comments…
    Outdated
    Outdated
    I had a friend up north who lost one of his eyes to a tropical ulcer. It started off as just a pimple near his eye and he scratched it.
    Misery
    Misery
    Yeah, I'm just glad they have a treatment plan at all. I'm still worried but not feeling as totally paranoid as I was yesterday.
    1ForAll
    1ForAll
    Sounds like a tough treatment plan, having to do that at nights, too. Think of it as this way though, "Each time it's done this frequently (drops put in), things should get better and quicker, even if results are not seen right away and it takes time to fully heal"
    Misery
    My father just got back from the doc, eye drops are having no effect, they're heading to the ER in a moment to see a specialist there who has unique equipment for cornea examination. Really nervous about this but I cant do anything...
    1ForAll
    1ForAll
    Best to be safe there, yes. I just know it may take more than a few days even with eye drops to show any noticeable symptom improvement, as any abrasion, scratch there takes time to heal, up to two or more weeks there. Regardless, a specialist like ophthalmologist or other at the ER room will give better timelines for recovery there, if they are on the same page with his doc after further exam.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Eyes are remarkable, they have the ability to heal. But l read it does take time.
    Metalhead
    Metalhead
    Best of luck to the both of you.
    Misery
    Odd fact: I'm actually in a video game (an indie one). Almost forgot about that. A game called Bloody Rally Show. When you go to choose a character portrait upon starting a new campaign, I'm in the selection screen (the artist did a drawing of me). I just realized it's on the Switch also, I should grab that for something to do while I wait for the PC. Really fun game.
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Off to WB games to audition for Multiversus! Lol jk
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    You are pretty amazing person. Glad you are at this forum.
    Misery
    Misery
    I, too, am glad I'm at this forum. I've used so very, very many forums over so many years, but this is definitely the best of all of them, without question. Everyone here is great. Well, except for the occasional bot that shows up, those are less great. But the mods make short work of those things.
    Misery
    So, I've had the idea that instead of just bluntly saying that I'm a girl in direct conversation, maybe I should try to do it in a... creative way? My father in particular really likes it when I do art stuff or creative whatever, and it might make it more comfortable, so... something like that? I wonder what? Well, I have an idea, but I need the new computer first. Might be interesting.
    View previous comments…
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    New Life Stage, new computer. :)
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    How about wearing one girly thing everyday, maybe small but something significant and see if they notice or ask you. Then the next week or next month wear two girl type things, this could be color choices, feminine cut of clothes.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    So that eventually you end up dressing completely as a female without much ado. Then you just morph there without a big deal. Like a butterfly leaving the cocoon.
    Misery
    p0tJPAc.webp


    Just thought I'd share one of my favorite things, since it's pretty unique. Her name is Virginia, she's from a favorite Youtube series of mine. So... er... yeah. And yes, I'm bored, how can you tell?
    Stuttermabolur
    Stuttermabolur
    She really reminds me of the bear in that popular anime visual novel (I can't for the life of me remember the name of now).
    Misery
    Misery
    Is it Danganronpa?
    Misery
    So... yeah. I think I've finally started to come to terms with the fact that, well... I'm a girl. I feel very strange saying that, but... yeah, I'm a girl. I want to thank everyone here who was so very helpful to get me to that point of realization and acceptance. Ya know, I want to state something for the record here: This the best forum I've been on, you guys are all great. Also, it's not Reddit. Another plus.
    View previous comments…
    Atrapa Almas
    Atrapa Almas
    Its perfectly fine if you feel like talking about your female self as long as you want. I dont think you are bothering any of us.

    For me its educative and a chance to show support and respect. Having the chance of being usefull to other human beings is important for me.
    mysterionz
    mysterionz
    Also Reddit is poopoo. I can’t go anywhere on that site without fat jokes being made about me (more specifically many comparisons to Eric from South Park for some reason). OP, good thing you aren't on Reddit as the trolls would probably come to you and make many comparisons to Chris Chan (controversial YouTube figure)
    mysterionz
    mysterionz
    that did nasty things to their own mom among many other things, their actions gave the autistic community a bad name, lots of controversy came when they came out as trans MTF just so they could get away with having non-consentual seggs with underage people if I recall. Again OP, you are NOT CC in any way, shape or forum. I’d recommend checking out TheLexiKitty on YouTube.
    BrokenBoy
    View previous comments…
    Misery
    Misery
    Yeah, I know. I'd thought about it a bunch, and, well... understanding what I do now about this sort of thing, it makes sense for the character. Also I recently asked someone on here to use "she" for me. I'm in no position to have a negative opinion about something like this.
    Misery
    Misery
    On a total side note, gonna buy the game soon. My friend picked it up, gonna get back into it, it'll be super fun. Theoretically. Have to use the PS4 controller when at his house though, that's a bit of an issue.
    BrokenBoy
    Misery
    Misery
    Sorry for a late reply here, this site hasnt been working quite right for me lately. And no, I've not played it, though I have heard it is pretty good. One that I mean to try at some point.
    BrokenBoy
    BrokenBoy
    Ok. I would love it if you could tell me what you think of it when you finally start playing it!
    BrokenBoy
    Misery
    Misery
    Okay, that takes the cake for the most bloody baffling thing I've seen all month. What the heck am I looking at? Is... is this someone who stole my name and avatar? And why? Just... what.
    BrokenBoy
    BrokenBoy
    It's a screenshot from the visual novel game "Emily Is Away Too". It's meant to simulate an AOL chatroom.

    The game has a feature where one of your steam friends will appear in the in-game friend's list that the protagonist has and will have a randomly generated joke profile.
    Misery
    Misery
    Ahhhhh, I see. That makes more sense. And I knew I'd seen that interface SOMEWHERE before. The look reminds me of a chat program I used to use, thus the confusion.

    That game sure pops up a lot on Steam.
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