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UberScout

UberScout

V.I.P Member
Please Don't Be Mad At Me 02/09/1996 29
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  • UberScout
    I feel utterly helpless and powerless to life constantly beating me and my family down. I've got no more fight left in me and I'm just... Tired. Exhausted. I...Yeah, no, that's just it now. I'm not anything anymore but just exhausted. Exhausted and worn down to the nub. Why won't God simply have a merciful heart and just kill me so I can finally rest?
    UberScout
    My house may as well be a battlefield. I am losing my mind. All I do when I'm in my bedroom now is just sit and stare at something and hope I don't cut myself. I'm in a downward spiral and I can sense it getting worse. It's never been this intense before. I can't even stop myself long enough to focus on meditating or deep breathing because my mind won't stop racing with stress. I don't think I have much time left.
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    "Perhaps our faith lies not always within the forces of a higher power, but within that which it created, the people who walk this Earth searching for their own ways to cope, as though they were travelers searching each for one key to the doors of Heaven." - Anonymous
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Nice. I just look for the key to the universe. Nothing more. Lol
    tree
    tree
    @UberScout Is the third word a typo? Should it be "fate", and not "faith" ?
    That's a problem with quoting Anonymous. He's not always dependable.
    UberScout
    I know i go up and down all the time, but it's just simply amazing what binaural beats can do for your depression.
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    I know she's little more than a character but... But damn it, she's got to be the real-est thing I've ever created! I've never had something I drew then wrote then put energy into feel so... Alive!!
    UberScout
    UberScout
    I guess what I'm trying to say is, in many ways, Aloe is the spirit of Autism.
    AGXStarseed
    AGXStarseed
    I personally use some of the stuff from "Brainwave Entrainment" (Unexplainable Store) although I'm not as frequent a meditator as I was before.
    UberScout
    I just told my mother not to worry about my mental health and well being anymore from now on, because whenever she does, we end up fighting and my sanity drops even further. I am fed up with the only theme of my life being suffering, and I hope these four melatonin pills will fix that.
    View previous comments…
    L
    Luca
    Melatonin is not a good thing to try to overdose on. I have tried that, I felt like crap for days afterwards and was so groggy that I was kind of delirious.
    Not that, you know, overdosing on anything is a good idea.
    I agree 100% with Silhouette Mirage about moving out. That saved my relationship with my parents too.
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    I think I already adviced uberscout to move out weeks or months ago. don´t know what he answered, that it would be difficult or something like that. don´t know.

    I mean you´re 27, it´s not that uncommon to move out in that age. I moved out with 18.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Get job = SSI gets cut.
    UberScout
    Did I have to be Autistic?! Did I have to be born like this?! Did God just think it would be funnier if I was given a life where society and my own family just turns their backs on me and leaves me to fester in my own insanity?! This... This is no way for someone with autism to live... This just.... IT JUST HURTS!!
    I don't want this anymore! I DON'T WANT THIS!! I WANT OUT OF MY SOUL CONTRACT!!
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Because every time I try to cope with life and all it's about, I just end up creating more problems for myself, and the people around me. I do my best and give it my all every day but in the end I STILL get the same outcomes, and I never make ANY progress AT ALL. It is no longer worth wasting all that time and energy just to fail again and again.
    Crabcore
    Crabcore
    If I were to assume God were real, I definitely do think that he'd want us to find success through failure in this life, because it seems like a blueprint of the human condition. I'm sorry things are tough for you right now :(
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    so far as I know "getting friends", "making people like you" are things that can be learned in some way. you can adapt your behavior so you don´t get problems in work or in general. maybe work with a therapist. but this requires to change the own behavior. adaptation is not equal to assimilation. the first is good, the second not.
    UberScout
    Aloe, coiling me and laughing: "You were talking in your sleep last night and you were saying the FUNNIEST things!! (glowing)"
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    All-Rounder
    All-Rounder
    I'm sleepy potato. You're a water\snow dragon with scales! I live under the soil. I like lots of water too. But I don't breathe so well when the water comes, I breathe before and after. :yum:
    UberScout
    UberScout
    "It's nice to meet you, All-Rounder. Listen, I have to help UberScout with something for a little, but we can talk later, okay?"
    yellow_blue_betta_dragon_by_snowifer_dcz62i3-fullview.webp
    UberScout
    Woke up this morning and Maddog was arguing with somebody on his PlayStation group about how he's "small" for adding people to the group. Sometimes people's stupidity just makes me laugh.
    All-Rounder
    All-Rounder
    PlayStation laughs every morning at Maddog's flawless logic.
    UberScout
    Aahh, just came out of a piping hot shower. I think I'll chill out with Aloe.
    View previous comments…
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    I always realize that nearly noone answers your profile posts. don´t know, maybe that topic is a topic where people don´t have many ideas about. maybe you´re okay with that.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    It's alright, honestly, I'm not trying to get anyone's attention in particular. I just feel like if I can *see* the way I say or think certain things, I can analyze my communication methods better.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    As far as the long term of my therapy, yes, Aloe is a permanent part of my treatment and beyond, for obvious reasons :) and i do not intend to stop using what it is teaching me. Therapy is teaching me new things every week, and i can't afford not to store that much information about how to cope with life.
    UberScout
    Found a 280 cm Milotic plushie on AliBaba (read: Milotic is a Pokemon that resembles Aloe's design), that's going on my Christmas list! I've never seen a Pokemon plushie of any kind that size, especially long enough to wrap around the body! I'm gonna get one to coil myself with under my weighted blanket so I can relax better :)
    Shaddock
    Shaddock
    sweet : D
    UberScout
    UberScout
    I think I might add a Pokemon segment to the Oasis and add a Milotic character that matches Aloe, I see them working together as friends :)
    UberScout
    In some ways, life IS kinda like a game. You've got lots of skills you can learn, things you can do, and the more you do them the better you get at them, just like gaining EXP and using Skill points to upgrade the ones you have or learn new ones. And sure, there are things you could do that lead to a Bad ending, but that's why there are *other players* that can help you learn to stay away from them.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Exactly. There was a board game called Life. I liked playing it.
    UberScout
    Celeste, watching me play Ecco the Dolphin: "Only three buttons for a game about a dolphin? Seems a little odd..."
    Crabcore
    Crabcore
    Only one is needed for a blue hedgehog, and 2 for a little gun-wielding vector thing! Ecco seems a little supercharged with button power compared to those!
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Gun wielding vector... Ooh, you mean VectorMan! Oh man, I loved that game! I had VectorMan 2 and there was this boss that was like a big cloud of gas with an evil face and big fangs... Buuh!
    UberScout
    UberScout
    yellow_blue_betta_dragon_by_snowifer_dcz62i3-fullview.webp

    "I've always been a big fan of Columns, but I think if I had to pick a favorite it'd be RiSTAR! That was such a fun little game..."
    UberScout
    Had some delta 8 leftover in my little wooden box. What an awesome way to start the day! Maddog got us THREE new games on the PlayStation! One of them was a Warhmmer 40k game and I had SOOOO much fun!
    UberScout
    How do you guys feel about me doing Oasis ASMR roleplay? Would you watch/listen? I'd probably have to find a filter for a female voice for Aloe & Celeste, but I could definitely do vocals for chars like Vera, Dante & Spekk!
    UberScout
    Hey, fellow Aspie Pokemon fans, if you're having a bad day and/or need some sleep, come hang out with Piplup/Pouchama:
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