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Recent content by PATILYN

  1. PATILYN

    "Just make friends!" Most unhelpful advice ever?

    First off you sound like a great friend, so he is lucky to have you by his side. Does he seem already satisfied with his friendships? Or does he seem to want more? He might not be "longing" for anything and is happy with the bonds he already has. I don't believe NTs know how to be a friend by...
  2. PATILYN

    "Just make friends!" Most unhelpful advice ever?

    I am actually so glad to read this post. I am NT. I have struggled to know how to be a friend to someone who is realizes he may be on the spectrum, doesn't really want to talk about it further, and has not investigated further. I am full of questions for the community here about this. I have...
  3. PATILYN

    How to show affection?

    "I love him with all my heart, though sometimes I can't FEEL that love, it comes and goes. All I know is that my life would be empty and meaningless without him in it. " I am replying to you because I was so impressed with your amazing ability to be intuitive about your own state of mind...
  4. PATILYN

    How do y'all handle death from someone close to you?

    My thoughts are with you this weekend as you process this change in your family. I was assisted once with respect to death by being asked to hold to balls of different coloured clay in each hand. I then moulded the two pieces into one piece. By the end, I could no longer pick out each colour...
  5. PATILYN

    How do y'all handle death from someone close to you?

    Starfire, I must tell you, if it might help you with a better understanding of a big picture .... that there have been very close NT people in my life who have not attended funerals of people close to them ... one who did not attend a wife’s funeral because it was just too much for him and...
  6. PATILYN

    How do y'all handle death from someone close to you?

    I am so sorry for this loss in your family. It is so insightful that you are aware of your confusion. Loss creates all sorts of confusion for everyone. No doubt your wife is aware of your difficulties and it is this understanding by her that you can hold fast too while you work through it. I...
  7. PATILYN

    So hard to find people to connect with...

    So I am NT woman, likely a good bit older than you, but maybe I could still wade in for a minute. This idea of becoming friends first is pretty solid. I can say with all certainty that the attraction "sparky stage" only last so long in long- term relationships. So after the day to day of...
  8. PATILYN

    How do y'all handle death from someone close to you?

    I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Grief and mourning are two separate things. I guess a funeral could be described as the outward expression of grief. It is my NT experience to find funerals difficult too. I catch the emotions going on and I get very teary. Then I feel a bit...
  9. PATILYN

    NT thinking and us

    Hmmm ... likely the whole thing ... like the effect ... not the the specifics. If there is nothing really remarkable about the wall probably wouldn’t notice. For example I own my own business and I need others to merchandise for me
  10. PATILYN

    NT thinking and us

    Hi pat, I have been here for awhile. I would be excited to hear from you ... I am NT. I have friends, employees and family and a man whom I have loved all on the spectrum. It would be so cool to exchange thoughts. Fire away.
  11. PATILYN

    Anyone else sick of people only coming here to get back their relationships?

    Certainly ... message me ... who knows what we might discover ... :)
  12. PATILYN

    Anyone else sick of people only coming here to get back their relationships?

    You can ask me anything you like ... Browyn ... it’s a give and take .. Absolutely as it should be. .... I’ve had kindness and compassion shown to me by the members here and I am NT woman ... well into my middle years .... I’ve dated, I’ve been married and I’ve raised children, and I own a...
  13. PATILYN

    honesty

    Firstly, let me say thank you. Again! It totally made sense to me ... the binary thinking regarding me... I have seen that in other instances from him. I am slowly coming to the realization that there is nothing left for me to do. I left all the words I had for him over there. And that my...
  14. PATILYN

    honesty

    Soooo...I have turned it over and over and over in my head ... and I believe that perhaps you may have said it best ... he did tell me in just those words when he described trying to find someone “I will not be alone”! His criteria ... she is pretty, she doesn’t smoke (deal breaker) and she is...
  15. PATILYN

    honesty

    A little addendum ... this guy’s works full time and keeps his own apartment ... he is fully bilingual ... and learned English as a second language as adult ... he is frugal and makes good use of his savings to support himself! And incidentally ... he offered up quite regularly over our 9...
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