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Recent content by AuAL

  1. AuAL

    I'm afraid of my diagnosis and it's driving me crazy.

    You might want to look at Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). It sounds a close match with what you describe, in terms of behaviours, and can coexist with autism. It is not treatable with drugs, so perhaps worth a look before going down that path with “BPD”.
  2. AuAL

    Fully Exhausted My Romantic Partner

    @WRM, add this to the comments from @Outdated. “(I am uncertain if this is abuse or simply frustration).” What matters is how it is affecting you. FWIW, it sounds like abuse. What is keeping you there?
  3. AuAL

    Is it weird that I never want to see a therapist, counselor or physiatrist because I don't want them telling me how to feel?

    I also have low self esteem. It got so bad I was in therapy, with suicidal ideation. My last therapist suggested I look into autism.💡This saved my life. Since then I have uncovered deep problems with a desperate need for external validation. “I am not good enough unless someone tells me.” I am...
  4. AuAL

    Intro - Late Diagnosis, Interests, etc.

    I think many of us have deficits of one kind or another that have impeded us socially. My history of broken or damaged relationships/friendships is testament to this. Do I consider myself disabled? I grew up in the years before modern ASD diagnosis so no, I never considered myself “disabled”. (I...
  5. AuAL

    Introducing myself

    Welcome @izzy13, good to have you with us. SF is one of my all-time favourite genres, and there are so many dystopian-themed stories about now. (More than when I was reading SF when young - when I come to think of it, there seems to have been a shift over recent years. I wonder what that says…)
  6. AuAL

    Realizing you're autistic, how'd you react?

    @cooljethro, I was suicidal before I discovered I was autistic (in therapy for years.) Then, “I’m autistic, not a broken NT.” Within weeks I was back under the threshold for psychological intervention. Looking back (on 64 years of not knowing who I was) so much became clearer. It must be said, I...
  7. AuAL

    Traveling questions (guided tours?)

    There are many companies that offer small-group tours. I have used several of them, in addition to decades of independent travel. (Last year I clocked up 46 countries visited. I love travelling.) Most of these companies are based around “couples” travel, i.e. accommodation is often based around...
  8. AuAL

    Intro - Late Diagnosis, Interests, etc.

    I’m like @WhitewaterWoman, self diagnosed at 64. At that age, and given my personal circumstances, there was no advantage to seeking a formal diagnosis. I knew who I was, and it made an immense difference to my understanding and outlook. We appear to share a number of common interests - I hope...
  9. AuAL

    Just One Photo From Today

    Arachnophobia is not necessarily irrational. In recent years the funnel web spiders prevalent in the area I grew up were declared the deadliest of three, related species. They used to roam our backyards. They were also very aggressive. Aussies would know the pictured spider is harmless. My wife...
  10. AuAL

    Just One Photo From Today

    The spider sharing my shower this morning.
  11. AuAL

    One of these days, Alice.

    How about a self-sustaining, totally sealed, “bio-dome” here on earth. There hasn’t been one successful example of that, yet.
  12. AuAL

    Saltwater Crocodiles

    Closest I’ve been to a croc in the wild. He’s about 5 metres long, sunning on a mudflat near Weipa. The photo was taken on my iPhone - no telephoto lens. Our boat nudged aground on the mudflat - you better believe I stayed in the boat.
  13. AuAL

    What is the good in your autism?

    @Ronald Zeeman, I think you missed my point. I don’t feel bad. The point is, I don’t go looking for “what is the good in my autism.” I’m autistic. Nothing I do is going to change that. Anybody can say, “I am a live human being.” Should we go looking for “what is the good in that”? My...
  14. AuAL

    What is the good in your autism?

    I don’t really know. I don’t try to “separate” my autism from what is me. I spent 64 years “without” autism, then discovered I was autistic. Let all my achievements and failures just be “mine.”
  15. AuAL

    Do any of you struggle with self blame? I feel like blaming myself for things that aren't my fault.

    “If something has gone wrong in inter-personal relationships, it’s my fault.” RSD. I have a sheet of affirmations my wife gave me pinned to the inside of my wardrobe door, trying to get past this. Maybe I am getting past it, a little.
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