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Recent content by AO1501

  1. AO1501

    Question for those with Autism

    Don't listen to others who may tell you what to think or believe in, however well meaning they may be. You are the one who has to live with the choices and decisions you make, and the values you live by. Nobody should have the power to guide you, and you should always take responsibility for...
  2. AO1501

    What was the first thing you said when you first got your diagnosis?

    "That can't be right!" As far as I knew, I was quite normal, and it was everyone else that was odd and different. The psychologist gave me a book to read, and from about the second page, I realised it was about me. By the second chapter, it was explaining who I was to me, and by the end, I...
  3. AO1501

    Are a portion of people on the autism spectrum asexual? Asking due to my failed relationship

    To address the original question, of course there are a proportion of people on the spectrum who are also asexual. We're human, not calculating machines or automatons, so we have the same human characteristics as everybody else, just sometimes and in some ways not framed or recognizable in the...
  4. AO1501

    You don't want to hear this.....

    I really do think this is true. I'm a member of a community of people who are almost entirely NTs, and much of their communication is about how things go or have gone wrong. Or their frustrations and disappointments. The tone is so negative that it feeds on itself. Whoever it was that said...
  5. AO1501

    You don't want to hear this.....

    I'm not sure the premise is entirely right, that we 'always focus on the negative'. From my standpoint and experience, I know I find it hard or next to impossible to 'step outside myself' because I lack empathy, and I have nothing which apparently is close to the skill to 'imagine', so who I am...
  6. AO1501

    Romance, Relationships and Autism - A Speculation

    In one sense this is very easy to deal with, because as an NT woman, you (almost certainly) have the mental skills to imagine what life would be without your ND man in it. So, regardless of the struggle it is at times, put yourself into that situation. He's gone, no longer there, not part of...
  7. AO1501

    My partner (ASD) and I (NT) have relationship problems. Looking for advice/different perspectives!

    That's a great way to get two people onto the same page! One caveat though is that the questions are rather too open for some on the spectrum to know how to answer, particularly if they have little or no experience of relationships - or more importantly, positive ones. I know that at least when...
  8. AO1501

    My partner (ASD) and I (NT) have relationship problems. Looking for advice/different perspectives!

    Your outline of the instability in your relationship sounds pretty much like a typical mismatch between the way ND and NT people perceive and communicate with each other, rather than anything really and fundamentally flawed in the relationship itself. If his ND characteristics involve high...
  9. AO1501

    My partner (ASD) and I (NT) have relationship problems. Looking for advice/different perspectives!

    I think there are times when it is more useful to hear what is being actually said, rather than what it might be interpreted as meaning. In this instance, it seems quite likely to me that when he admitted that he did not see a future with you, that he actually meant exactly that, and not...
  10. AO1501

    "Autistic" or "Person with Autism"?

    I too am autistic. I am not a person with autism, because autism isn't a thing I take with me or wear, it is exactly who I am as a person. But how others want to define themselves is not for me to choose. I object to any use of an autism label as a pejorative.
  11. AO1501

    What would you have done in this situation?

    @Misty Avich Quite possibly, a few people on the bus would have given up that seat to the child - which might have made the problem go away, but would simply teach the child that tantrums and bad behavior will usually get him what he wants. Ironically, those same people would have been...
  12. AO1501

    What would your life have been if you weren't autistic?

    Lack of imagination is a curse in some respects, but a huge benefit in others. Having assumed, as one does, that everyone else is the same as me, I was very unsettled by those who seemed capable of living a different experience than they were really having. But I can't say I ever would have...
  13. AO1501

    What would your life have been if you weren't autistic?

    I lack what other people seem to call imagination, so I can't put myself into a different situation I never experienced. I am on the spectrum, and my life has been defined by it, so there is no way to know what that life could or would have been without being on the spectrum. Some might think...
  14. AO1501

    Wishing You Had Known Earlier

    Being undiagnosed until my mid-50s I spent much of my life battling the oddnesses and differences I knew existed between me and almost everyone else, and being puzzled and confused by them. So my instinctive reaction is to think how much better, or even just easier, life would have been if I had...
  15. AO1501

    A Confusing Revolutiuon at 59

    I couldn't say it better than this, but I will add that many of us spend a lifetime hearing other people's opinions of us as people, not because there is really anything wrong with us, but because we're just different. The problem isn't really us, it is the lack of tolerance to difference, the...
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